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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Incels

311 replies

Theninetieswerebetter · 26/02/2023 22:37

Is anyone watching ‘Untold’ on Channel 4?

I worry for my DD’s future

OP posts:
ChunkaMunkaBoomBoom · 27/02/2023 07:05

@GothicViolence that’s page 1 in the Incel handbook - it’s everyone else’s fault and we’re not allowed to be ‘ men’ anymore…

knittingaddict · 27/02/2023 07:07

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:49

All fair enough questions.

Millennials and Gen Z

Its been a political push from the elites to subdue the west, they did this by me forcing the politics of the HR department onto wider society.

It depends on the household but the indoctrination starts at home, absentee fathers are a huge problem, it takes men to raise men.

The introduction of seed oils and soy into the modern diet has also caused testosterone levels to plummet.

The programming that meant men in the Stone Age could hunt the mammoth.

Any metric you can think of; career, interpersonal relationships, health, wealth..

Ah, the soy boy insult. 😁Definitely a live specimen here

JellySaurus · 27/02/2023 07:07

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:16

The incel movement is what happens when a generation of young men are told to act in a less masculine way, only to find out that society finds feminine men off-putting.

At they save time they find that their peers who didn’t let themselves be brow beaten into ignoring their programming do better in every metric.

Incels are perfect examples of toxic masculinity.

Clarabella77 · 27/02/2023 07:07

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:49

All fair enough questions.

Millennials and Gen Z

Its been a political push from the elites to subdue the west, they did this by me forcing the politics of the HR department onto wider society.

It depends on the household but the indoctrination starts at home, absentee fathers are a huge problem, it takes men to raise men.

The introduction of seed oils and soy into the modern diet has also caused testosterone levels to plummet.

The programming that meant men in the Stone Age could hunt the mammoth.

Any metric you can think of; career, interpersonal relationships, health, wealth..

Mate, you've been spending way too much time online. Maybe take your head out of the forums and start living in the real world, focusing on forming real relationships with men and women and you will see that you are talking nonsense. The world is a better place when people have the freedom to just be themselves.

XelaM · 27/02/2023 07:12

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 01:00

Nope. I’m saying the “rich posh twats” that make money do so because they haven’t abandoned so called “toxic masculinity”

Nope. My brother makes a lot of money in the City and he's lovely 🤷‍♀️My uncle makes a lot of money too and he's one of the nicest people I've ever known.

MotherofBingo · 27/02/2023 07:14

In my experience white men have a far more fragile sense of what might make them appear effeminate than other demographics. Obviously I haven't met everyone - and there are bad people in every walk of life - but frankly the men who have all made me feel the most uncomfortable and the most unsafe throughout my life are white men who describe themselves as 'real men' or 'a lads lad'. They are the ones who have been openly racist and misogynistic and if anyone dares to stand up to them they jump to violence and aggression as a way of defending themselves.

Sadly I've met too many of those type of men and far from finding that behaviour attractive, I find it repulsive and sickening. I have been sexually assaulted, followed and harassed more times than I'd care to admit (funnily enough this all stopped when I hit my mid 20s - and I look young for my age). Every single one of those men were white. I don't think our western culture is always as perfect as people like to pretend.

PolyannaHanna · 27/02/2023 07:24

@ConfusedNT 👏👏👏👏
Well said!

Topnun · 27/02/2023 07:26

Fuwari · 27/02/2023 06:57

I think you also have to look at societal expectations. A man alone gaming in his room is seen as some sort of weirdo. He should be going to the gym, hanging out with other “lads”, dating etc etc. That’s how society thinks men should be living when single. But why is it an issue if someone just prefers to be gaming? We’ve placed a “shame” onto that, which then leads these men to look for someone else to blame for that shame. There is also usually some neurodiversity at play, which we’ve become better at accepting when they’re children, but not so much when they reach adulthood. We expect them to just suddenly become “normal” men. Society has rejected them in the first place because they don’t fit the mould. It’s really not that surprising that they find each other online and this is how it spreads.

Perhaps at one time it was seen as weird, now many people are chronically online it's not. Plenty of men spend time gaming, many women also enjoy it. The issues really are that someone who spends a disproportionate amount of time doing so probably isn't getting out and about to meet people, or the women that are into them they don't deem to be good enough. Plenty of incels could easily find girlfriends, the issue is these women they could land don't meet the standard they feel they deserve.

ladygindiva · 27/02/2023 07:26

ConfusedNT · 27/02/2023 00:38

No the incel movement is what happens when some men realise that now that women don't have to rely on men for social and financial reasons, men actually have to be decent men to attract women, and instead of being decent they decided to bitch about how women should still be relying on them instead

Meanwhile men who are decent men are still getting women and that really pisses them off. Because that means that womens emancipation hasn't stopped women getting together with men, it's just stopped them getting together with/staying with the bad ones. And that means they would have to do something about their behaviour and that's hard. So it's easier to bitch about women instead.

Spot on

Topnun · 27/02/2023 07:27

There are plenty of women who don't want to date a gym bro, out of my friends- all successful, wonderful, beautiful and thohghtful women none date or are married to stereotypically manly men.

Cokeacola · 27/02/2023 07:34

Will add this to my to watch list

Mummyford · 27/02/2023 07:35

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 01:00

Nope. I’m saying the “rich posh twats” that make money do so because they haven’t abandoned so called “toxic masculinity”

Ah, so your beliefs about men who work 'in the city' have been formed by the old tv shows you watch as you sit in the dark and the rantings of the other incels? I hate to break it to you, but you're wrong.

ChunkaMunkaBoomBoom · 27/02/2023 07:36

The military still exists though, doesn’t it? And they’re desperate for soldiers. Not sure why all these ‘men’ hand wringing over the like of Harry Styles wearing a skirt and wondering how we went from the war generation to men in skirts, don’t just go and sign up to the military. Where the ‘real’ men apparently reside.
instead of hiding behind key boards masturbating to firefighter calendars…

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/02/2023 07:38

The incel movement is what happens when women and girls are allowed to say no.

DancingDaughter50 · 27/02/2023 07:40

Can someone tell me about this program and did it mention Andrew tate?

Surplus2requirements · 27/02/2023 07:46

Well that's all very enlightening.

I could do with a bit more cash so I'm off to beat some people up and hunt mammoth, sorted.

What an arsewipe 🙄

Topnun · 27/02/2023 07:47

ChunkaMunkaBoomBoom · 27/02/2023 07:36

The military still exists though, doesn’t it? And they’re desperate for soldiers. Not sure why all these ‘men’ hand wringing over the like of Harry Styles wearing a skirt and wondering how we went from the war generation to men in skirts, don’t just go and sign up to the military. Where the ‘real’ men apparently reside.
instead of hiding behind key boards masturbating to firefighter calendars…

Hah, so true.

Xol · 27/02/2023 07:48

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:54

The guys that work in “the city” making a shit tonne of money, apart from being good at maths what traits do they have?

Is making money working in the city your measure of masculinity and success? People like, oh, Jacob Rees-Mogg?

Logburnerperils · 27/02/2023 07:55

I do think it is hard being a teenage boy and I can see why they could be influenced online. I remember trying to attract girls that were buying bottles of Jason Donovans breath FFS and how could I compete with that. Quite lucky the internet wasn't around back then.

georgarina · 27/02/2023 07:56

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:16

The incel movement is what happens when a generation of young men are told to act in a less masculine way, only to find out that society finds feminine men off-putting.

At they save time they find that their peers who didn’t let themselves be brow beaten into ignoring their programming do better in every metric.

No, it's what happens when a generation of young men feel entitled to women, and unwilling to recognise that women are humans who aren't attracted to them, rather than malfunctioning service objects.

Showersugar · 27/02/2023 08:01

GothicViolence · 27/02/2023 00:16

The incel movement is what happens when a generation of young men are told to act in a less masculine way, only to find out that society finds feminine men off-putting.

At they save time they find that their peers who didn’t let themselves be brow beaten into ignoring their programming do better in every metric.

Put down the Andrew Tate handbook..

Xol · 27/02/2023 08:07

having opinions that were actually mine and not the HR department’s,

I assume that you're not objecting to the HR department's views on, for instance, the best place to advertise when recruiting and the appropriate timetable for appraisals. So I'm guessing you're talking about HR departments' training to help people comply with the Equality Act and avoid discrimination on grounds of sex, race, disability, sexual orientation, pregnancy etc. Would that be correct, @GothicViolence?

Roussette · 27/02/2023 08:08

MrsClatterbuck · 27/02/2023 02:09

Is that you Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife probably not but it's the kind of bull shit she spouts

She is the most disgusting individual and blocked me on Twitter a long time ago!

According to her it's god's will that women are put on earth to just serve men, they shouldn't have careers or ever go into politics or science, medicine, engineering, technology etc. If a woman's desire isn't serving her husband, and making babies, she has failed, ... oh and she should always submit to sex with her husband.

SchoolTripDrama · 27/02/2023 08:09

It is thought that the tragic, brutal murder of those 4 college students in that house in Idaho, was by an Incel (or rather that the man they have in custody is thought to be an Incel)

SchoolTripDrama · 27/02/2023 08:11

@GothicViolence Given your username and vile, vile posts I'd say that yes, you're coming across as very much an Incel