Incels

[Theninetieswerebetter]

Is anyone watching ‘Untold’ on Channel 4?

I worry for my DD’s future

I get the absolute horn for kind, gentle men - there is nothing more attractive than a warm, inviting, generous-spirited bloke. I remember when I was a teenager my adult cousin dated a teacher who worked with prolific/ high risk young offenders (rapists and murderers etc) and he came across as so knowledgeable and switched on, socially conscious, intelligent and hard working - I think that became my blueprint for masculinity.

I couldn't agree with this more. Compassionate men are as attractive as they come. Intelligence really does it for me; I could never in a million years fancy a thick person (or one easily indoctrinated with someone else's barking mad ideology).

I work alongside some highly intelligent people every day. But there are, probably unsurprisingly, one hell of a lot of them who fall into the latter category. Sometimes a conspicuous marker of those people is their pronoun-emblazoned signatures and accoutrements.

I worry for my DD but ever since ds has been born I worry for him as well. I've been wanting to make a thread to ask what can we (parents) do to raise our sons to become confident enough to grow up to be good, kind, sensible and respectful men.

That would be interesting and, I think, helpful and important @JustForThisOneTime I wish I had some answers of my own!

I saw the programme. What struck me about this Elliott Rodger character who is revered by incels is how good looking he was. He looked like an Abercrombie & Fitch model. So his "failure" with women was nothing to do with looks, as incels claim, but with his repugnant personality and world view.

And even though incels direct their anger at women, they are as equally rejected by men as they seldom if ever have any male friends in real life either! They lock themselves in their bedrooms of their parents' house and don't interact with society, don't meet anyone, and let their anger at society take over - but direct it at women.

When enough people feel there is social injustice they take action. That could be something as simple as striking, or making a fraudulent insurance claim to mass demonstrations, rioting and looting.
I wish more time was spent addressing the radicalisation of these individuals. Prevent training seems to focus on religious zealots and racists. I think incels are far more dangerous than an auditor taking pics outside a Police station. Even though these men come across as repulsive, i actually believe ghe majority are 'vulnerable adults' in the social sense of thevword and we should view them as victims.
Unsure what the answer is but I'd suggest all mothers, lovers, sisters, daughters etc collectively play our part to to discourage further recruits.

It observations born out of experience. The men that are generally more successful in their lives are the ones that display what is often described as “toxic masculinity”, wimpy effeminate men get trod on. Incels, in my experience, realise that they are in the latter group

@GothicViolence

This makes absolutely no sense. There's tons of men out there who are successful, in healthy relationships with women and don't display any traits of toxic masculinity! I'm married to one of them. So is my sister.

It depends on the household but the indoctrination starts at home, absentee fathers are a huge problem, it takes men to raise men

@GothicViolence

Again this BS! My husband grew up without a father. He's one of the best men out there, and a great father to his 3 daughters.

‘It depends on the household but the indoctrination starts at home, absentee fathers are a huge problem, it takes men to raise men’

Dad’s father was an alcoholic who died when dad was a teen after not working for years. My grandma worked in a factory and paid all the bills for her 3 sons.
mum’s
dad was controlling and violent, to oppose him was to be beaten. He also died when she was a teen and my nana ran a business and brought up 8 kids.

my dad, his brothers, my mum’s brothers are all lovely, gentle ( blue collar, ‘men’s men) family blokes. Despite their awful, absent fathers.
boys and girls need hoo role models, male and female, and that doesn’t necessarily have to be their own parents .

I'm not quite sure what the overlap, or pipeline is, between incels and the pickup artist alpha males who are thick enough to pay $50/ month to Andrew Taytos suckers Hustlers University .

Is an Incel just a more nihilist pick up artist?

I think it's their attitude towards women and sense of entitlement that link them.
it just goes down a different path.