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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
Starseeking · 26/02/2023 08:15

I would spend the time he's asleep packing up everything if his in my house onto a black bag, and putting it outside the front door.

As soon as he wakes up, I'd calmly tell him to leave my house, and never come back again.

If he tried to protest/explain I'd tell him I'd call the police and follow through if he didn't leave straight away.

What an awful man.

Well done you OP, you clearly know your own worth.

Schnooze · 26/02/2023 08:16

Keep strong. Don’t give in to his inevitable pleading.

Schnooze · 26/02/2023 08:17

Irisheyesareshining · 26/02/2023 08:09

I often wonder whether it would be better to just finish with someone with no explanation in these circumstances, maybe say sorry I don’t find you attractive anymore . Wouldn’t that be great to knock him off his high horse and leave him feeling like the wronged person .

Actually I quite like this.

Eatentoomanyroses · 26/02/2023 08:18

There’s no point going mental at him in these situations and looking for revenge etc. that just makes him think you care. He doesn’t care. You know this because he’s not bothered to cover his tracks and he’s done it in the first place. I wouldn’t have cracked on I knew of the cheating I’d have just ghosted him or said I no longer felt attracted to him.

weatherthestorms · 26/02/2023 08:18

Sounds like the escape will be easy, thank goodness you didn’t marry him or have kids with him. What an arse.

Binfluencer · 26/02/2023 08:19

OP you are a legend

ThinWomansBrain · 26/02/2023 08:20

am I the only one clicking on every new message waiting for The Big Update?

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 26/02/2023 08:20

Pack his crap up, so once he’s been confronted he can make a quit exit out of your life. You deserve so much better Op. stay strong and get rid of this dead weight asap.

NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 26/02/2023 08:21

Toffeeappler · 26/02/2023 01:45

Can you make it his social media profile oic as well??

My thoughts exactly, then you won’t even need to explain why you broke up (and no-one will take his side).

WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 08:22

Were are all the excuses and sympathy for the guy?
When a woman does it, it’s aw, he’s cold, he’s ignoring you, you were depressed, he deserves it.
Clearly their relationship isn’t working.
Why the double standards though?

QuackMooBaaOink · 26/02/2023 08:22

I hope you are OK OP. What a horrible "surprise" for you last night. As much as I admire your strength and resolve, it must be hard having your life turned upside down out of the blue like that. Keep your chin up, dignity intact, you are worth so much more ❤

TheShellBeach · 26/02/2023 08:22

ThinWomansBrain · 26/02/2023 08:20

am I the only one clicking on every new message waiting for The Big Update?

I am, too.

ReneBumsWombats · 26/02/2023 08:23

WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 08:22

Were are all the excuses and sympathy for the guy?
When a woman does it, it’s aw, he’s cold, he’s ignoring you, you were depressed, he deserves it.
Clearly their relationship isn’t working.
Why the double standards though?

What are you talking about? Cheaters of all hues get slaughtered on here. There's an ongoing thread by a woman who cheated while going through menopause and she's getting torn apart.

MmeCamenbert · 26/02/2023 08:23

@ThinWomansBrain nope!
I've set to watch and I'm refreshing every minute 😊

Bunce1 · 26/02/2023 08:24

WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 08:22

Were are all the excuses and sympathy for the guy?
When a woman does it, it’s aw, he’s cold, he’s ignoring you, you were depressed, he deserves it.
Clearly their relationship isn’t working.
Why the double standards though?

Sorry what? I think you’re having a small seizure because what you describe is fantasy. Good grief.

Motherrunner1 · 26/02/2023 08:24

Please make it his profile pic on social media!!!

LilLilLi · 26/02/2023 08:25

I’m so sorry OP, we all think you’re amazing but I know you’ll be feeling awful this morning.

Be kind to yourself, get some real life support. There’s better out there for you x

pictoosh · 26/02/2023 08:25

WillowBeeT · 26/02/2023 08:22

Were are all the excuses and sympathy for the guy?
When a woman does it, it’s aw, he’s cold, he’s ignoring you, you were depressed, he deserves it.
Clearly their relationship isn’t working.
Why the double standards though?

Well that’s a fabrication. Cheaters get their arse handed to them on plate on MN, irrespective of whose or why. I’ve been posting here for over decade and that’s something I can say with confidence.

Cosycover · 26/02/2023 08:26

Hope you are OK.

tensmum1964 · 26/02/2023 08:26

What an absolute shit. What is wrong with these men. Why don't they just gracefully end their relationships if they are not happy rather than sneak around like this. Good luck for today OP. I hope your anger helps you stay strong.

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/02/2023 08:26

Keep strong OP, you’ve found out at the best time! No ties!! Don’t let the weasel convince you otherwise!

ReneBumsWombats · 26/02/2023 08:27

As wrong as he is, if I was scrolling social media and saw someone had tried to publicly humiliate their cheating partner by sharing their messages etc, I'd think they might have had reason to cheat. It's wrong but it's not public property.

poorpaws · 26/02/2023 08:28

Thinking of you OP, stay strong. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

LadyWithLapdog · 26/02/2023 08:28

OP, you said his alarm will go off this morning. So he is working today. Use the time to declutter him out of your place and have a nap, you were probably up for part of the night, seething. He’s a scumbag.

EasterIssland · 26/02/2023 08:28

Hope it all goes well