Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Set his cheating message as his screen saver

485 replies

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/02/2023 01:38

So my lying, cheating.....now (not that he knows it yet) EX is snoring away beside me. We have the same make and model of phone, and I'd plugged mine in earlier to charge, but didn't realise he'd taken mine out to charge his up while I was in the shower. A notification popped up, on what I thought was my phone plugged in, I went to read the message and saw it was from another women, talking about how amazing their kiss was, completely baffled, I soon realised it was his phone. Turns out not only have they shared this amazing kiss, but they've also spent nights together while he's been away at work. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, anger has over ridden me but I want to play it cool before I dump his sorry, pathetic lying cheating fucking ass!!!! I've set his screen saver to the last message she sent, so there's no way he can deny it, I'm waiting for him to eventually see it in the morning, am I crazy, or do I wake him up and kick him out now?????

OP posts:
pictoosh · 26/02/2023 07:50

I agree that you should leave her out of it.

She’s irrelevant to you, it’s not a competition.

stepkidscopingstrategy · 26/02/2023 07:50

That's horrible for you- I bet it was one of the worst nights sleep of your life. Sending you love and peace 🥰
Curious if he will blame you for his cheating x

Campervangirl · 26/02/2023 07:51

Good for you op, I can just imagine that sick, sinking feeling he's going to have when he wakes up and reaches for his phone to see what time it is and sees his screensaver.
Perfectly played by you 👏
Now, chin up, tits out.
It's all about keeping your dignity intact now, calmly tell him to leave, no emotion, no discussion.
Good luck, you got this (you can have a cry when he's gone) ❤️

merlotlover · 26/02/2023 07:53

Good luck! Keep strong
I like above answer to him
Not my fuckin problem

Tilllly · 26/02/2023 07:55

We're all rooting for you
Stay strong 💪🏻

Humanwoman · 26/02/2023 07:55

Do you have anyone who can be a support while he gets his stuff and goes.
Just incase he turns nasty.

TemporaryName123 · 26/02/2023 07:59

So sorry this has happened to you OP, rooting for you xx

cunderthunt1 · 26/02/2023 07:59

Humanwoman · 26/02/2023 07:55

Do you have anyone who can be a support while he gets his stuff and goes.
Just incase he turns nasty.

Yes, I always worry about this when I read threads like this. Good luck OP

WineCap · 26/02/2023 07:59

What a shit. I hope his departure goes smoothly OP.

If you saw the OW's name then I might drop her a quick heads up message on social media and then block her. To me, that seems like what a decent and considerate person would do. Otherwise you're potentially leaving the OW vulnerable to the same heartbreak you are experiencing. I know it isn't your problem, but in her shoes I would feel better knowing that I had saved someone else from the same fate, a small silver lining.

diddl · 26/02/2023 07:59

Hopefully he has gone Op.

I'd like to think that I would have woken him up & kicked him out straight away.

Peachez · 26/02/2023 08:01

When he's gone, change the locks on your place please. Send him the bill. So sorry for you OP. xx

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/02/2023 08:02

🌺

Figgygal · 26/02/2023 08:03

Fair play to you op
Shame you've had to put up with him under your roof
Don't let him get breakfast on his way out

RicherThanYews · 26/02/2023 08:03

Other posters have given you sage advice Op, he sounds like a piece of pond scum and its likely he will become angry/defensive so please consider calling a friend or close family member just incase. Well done on your enormous weight loss btw, as of today you're a good 12st lighter. X

namechange0102 · 26/02/2023 08:03

Good for you OP. Let us know how you get on today. Be brave x

Missgemini · 26/02/2023 08:05

Sorry this happened to you OP x

Newestname002 · 26/02/2023 08:07

If he has keys to your home do ensure you get them back before he leaves. 🌹

booboo24 · 26/02/2023 08:08

I'm so sorry op what an awful shock this must be for you. For what it's worth I think what you've done is great for seeing the look on his face. I hope you stay strong in this, you're doing the right thing, as hard as this is

Pompom2367 · 26/02/2023 08:09

Hope you are ok op

Irisheyesareshining · 26/02/2023 08:09

I often wonder whether it would be better to just finish with someone with no explanation in these circumstances, maybe say sorry I don’t find you attractive anymore . Wouldn’t that be great to knock him off his high horse and leave him feeling like the wronged person .

Ricco12 · 26/02/2023 08:11

I wouldn't go mental at him, I wouldn't behave like that

I would calmly tell him to pack up all his belonging, and to go and start a new life far away from you.

Once he leaves , block him number and delete from social media etc.

Then sit back and be thankful he did it to you now. Before any longer term commitments like children or marriage.

Lucky escape OP

Bunnyishotandcross · 26/02/2023 08:13

Good riddance to bad rubbish op.

SeriouslyLTB · 26/02/2023 08:13

OP: you, Ma’am, are an legend.

Onwards and upwards. X

gretazoom · 26/02/2023 08:14

You sound like a legend op. I hope he's woken up and fucked off by now?

bluetakkis · 26/02/2023 08:14

What a knob! Sorry 😔