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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH constant comments & moaning about stuff

191 replies

CostoflivingDH · 24/02/2023 20:52

Like most others our family have had to rethink budgeting. We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff and I’ve made quite a few changes to our grocery shop.

DH is constantly ‘commenting’ and really annoying me.

’oh can’t we afford Charmin anymore this toilet roll is not very good, you need to use twice the amount’

’This bacon is so thin it all breaks up and you can’t cook it properly’

’I don’t like this brown sauce, why can’t we have HP?’

’Are you sure this detergent cleans as well as Ariel?’

’I need Heinz beans, these taste like shit’

’Are these the cheap, basic range eggs? We should get free range where the chickens can roam’

’The chocolate on these biscuits tastes cheap, where’s the chocolate hobnobs?’

and on and on. I’ve explained as he well knows that everything costs more, he obviously knows this but just responds with ‘it’s a false economy though as most of this is either shit or you have to use twice the amount’. I’ve suggested he does the shopping but he refuses.

I’m a savvy shopper and am good at finding offers and bargains.

Does this cause friction in your household? He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 24/02/2023 20:56

I would stop buying the ‘extras’. No biscuits, alternative sauces/spreads etc. Buy Heinz beans, but don’t serve such a large portion.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 24/02/2023 20:56

No friction here. My dh shops just as much as me and is aware of the price of things.

I'd tell your dh to think himself lucky he's only having to level down rather than go without, like many others nowadays - and to only get to the point now, after a few years of hardship for many, he should appreciate what he's got.

I wouldn't have any patience for this sort of bollocks.

afinishedkiss · 24/02/2023 20:58

He’s not wrong in fairness. There is a difference and some taste like shite but needs must and he needs to suck it up and button it.

CostoflivingDH · 24/02/2023 20:58

NancyJoan · 24/02/2023 20:56

I would stop buying the ‘extras’. No biscuits, alternative sauces/spreads etc. Buy Heinz beans, but don’t serve such a large portion.

I did try this but it was worse, he was outraged that he only got half a tin of beans with his egg and chips the other day!

OP posts:
HollyGolightly4 · 24/02/2023 20:59

He sounds like a child. Tell him if he doesn't like it, to source his own!

Merryoldgoat · 24/02/2023 20:59

I wouldn’t be buying shit quality stuff if I didn’t have to.

My first economies would be cutting out the extras and buying good quality food.

Alittlebitofbreadandsomecheese · 24/02/2023 21:00

Tell him if he doesn't like it then he can do the bloody shopping (and pay for it) -then don't buy anything else.

Se how Mr Moaner likes that.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 24/02/2023 21:00

Yabu just for buying eggs from caged hens. Incredibly unreasonable.

AffIt · 24/02/2023 21:00

Yes / no / maybe.

There are things that I won't compromise on, such as animal welfare, so if the eggs aren't free range, then there aren't eggs. I don't eat meat, but I'd say the same about bacon.

Cheap toilet roll IS false economy, in the same way that cheap bin bags are: you just end up 'doubling down'.

I am a bit snobbish about beans, so Heinz it is, but smaller portions! Home-made baked beans, using dried cannellini beans, are even nicer.

Biscuits / brown sauce - it's worth experimenting. Aldi's deluxe brown sauce is even better than HP, IMO, and it comes in a lovely glass bottle!

Yes, being a savvy shopper is a good thing, but there are ways and means.

MajesticWhine · 24/02/2023 21:02

I think you should go on strike with the shopping and let him do it. If he continues to refuse then don't make anything for him.

LimeCheesecake · 24/02/2023 21:02

It doesn’t sound like he’s on board with changes to budgets. Is he equally contributing to buying the groceries? If so, does he get a say in how the food budget is spent?

price it up. Would he prefer that you buy the branded items as it will cost x more each month. Can you afford that? What changes would have to be made to keep the same food quality? Eat meat less frequently? Cut wine /beer budget for food? Don’t buy snacks but have the better quality main meal food?

what would he like to happen when you can’t make prices stay as they were 6 months ago? Moaning without solutions isn’t ok. Ignoring him like he’s a child and you are his parent is not on.

CostoflivingDH · 24/02/2023 21:03

DorotheaHomeAlone · 24/02/2023 21:00

Yabu just for buying eggs from caged hens. Incredibly unreasonable.

I didn’t- he presumed

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 24/02/2023 21:03

I never buy branded stuff, it's fine. He needs to get over it.

Unananana · 24/02/2023 21:09

Are you his wife or his mummy?

Has he had his head up his arse in the clouds for over a year? Does he not watch The News?

Couldn't be doing with that shite. He can sort his own food out and pay for it.

The whining is seriously unattractive.

StopGo · 24/02/2023 21:10

What is he doing to earn more to pay for branded items or, shock horror, doing the actual shopping?

Cantonet · 24/02/2023 21:14

Is he aware there are currently no free range eggs due to bird flu? All birds have to be kept inside.

Feetinthemudandleaves · 24/02/2023 21:26

DorotheaHomeAlone · 24/02/2023 21:00

Yabu just for buying eggs from caged hens. Incredibly unreasonable.

This

Cantonet · 24/02/2023 21:32

There are no free range eggs at the moment sadly. I always buy free range eggs, as caging chickens is incredibly cruel. But currently all chickens have to be kept inside due to bird flu. So I'm unsure of the difference between caged & current free range chickens. Apparently the egg shortage is because axlot if farmers have had to reduce their numbers. Due to having to keep them inside.

Nixnjj1 · 24/02/2023 21:39

My 18 year old pays board and moaned about cheap mayo. He now shops online with me, we consider the price/taste if he wants the expensive one he pays the difference. I did however get loo roll in town and the size per roll v's cost is real.

flowerycurtain · 24/02/2023 21:43

There are no cages in a free range shed. There are a lot of hens but they have space and freedom to move about and different levels of perches. They have footballs and hanging things for enrichment. It's not ideal but farmers are trying their best in difficult circumstances.

Farmers are not reducing their numbers due to keeping them inside. They have not restocked because the supermarkets haven't paid enough to cover feed and electricity costs.

flowerycurtain · 24/02/2023 21:44

And to the OP - just repeat ad infinitum that there's not the money for it. My DH likes a Diet Coke in the evening. At £9 for 24 cans now he's missing out. Her survives and gets it.

gamerchick · 24/02/2023 21:45

No he needs to either suck it up, or do the shopping himself OP, those are the choices.

Tbf the only thing I've found is false economy, is with washing up liquid. Fairy all the way and we have to use branded laundry stuff or we get contact dermatitis.

Tell him to shut up.

Cantonet · 24/02/2023 21:47

Interesting. Thanks for that @Flowerycurtain. I was given that reason for the reduced number of eggs by my local supermarket manager.

flowerycurtain · 24/02/2023 21:51

@cantonet that's awful! Glad to be able to pass on a bit of truth from the coal face!

GoodChat · 24/02/2023 21:52

Surely you just let him do the shopping if he's that bothered?