DH constant comments & moaning about stuff

[CostoflivingDH]

Like most others our family have had to rethink budgeting. We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff and I’ve made quite a few changes to our grocery shop.

DH is constantly ‘commenting’ and really annoying me.

’oh can’t we afford Charmin anymore this toilet roll is not very good, you need to use twice the amount’

’This bacon is so thin it all breaks up and you can’t cook it properly’

’I don’t like this brown sauce, why can’t we have HP?’

’Are you sure this detergent cleans as well as Ariel?’

’I need Heinz beans, these taste like shit’

’Are these the cheap, basic range eggs? We should get free range where the chickens can roam’

’The chocolate on these biscuits tastes cheap, where’s the chocolate hobnobs?’

and on and on. I’ve explained as he well knows that everything costs more, he obviously knows this but just responds with ‘it’s a false economy though as most of this is either shit or you have to use twice the amount’. I’ve suggested he does the shopping but he refuses.

I’m a savvy shopper and am good at finding offers and bargains.

Does this cause friction in your household? He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

Really lovely biscuits in Aldi if it's not been mentioned upthread

Pass the job over if he can do better.

He wouldn't be getting served anything if he was whining at me like that!

Buy a few items of the branded stuff on the sly and dont tell him, see if he still moans and if so you can point out that it's just he perceived view of the brands being better

He sounds like a giant manbaby and I cannot think of anything less sexy than this kind of pathetic, childish whining. YANBU. Let him do his own shopping & prepare his ow meals.

“Stop moaning. Needs must. I don’t like it either” on repeat.

What’s your food budget? If it is fairly modest you don’t have the wiggle room for branded stuff, sorry. Why don’t you got shopping with him and let him add up on the way round and he can see the reality of shopping and prices today?

You can't buy free range eggs at the moment because the birds are being kept indoors because of bird flu.
My free range egg box has a sticker stating that the eggs are barn eggs

The cost of my food shop has gone up LOADS!
I've always bought own brand things as well as branded though.
Tesco luxury soft loo roll is just as good/if not better than Andrex/Cushelle etc
I've always preferred their low sugar/salt beans over Heinz too.
Rarely buy branded cereal.
It would be interesting if you bought cheaper stuff and put it in the branded boxes/containers, or vice versa!

More importantly he needs to decide whether he'd prefer branded half as often or quantity is more important so he will suck it up.

I am a lone parent and ds knows that some items I buy are only when it's on Clubcard price.

Ugh, he expected a whole can of beans on his plate? Rank. His food would have been swimming.

I can see both points of view.

If the cheaper product is genuinely rubbish (e.g. toilet roll) then buying cheaper is indeed a false economy.
Otherwise it's worth doing a cost/value judgement. Have you see Eat well for less? They introduce the families to cheaper products - sometimes they can't tell the difference, sometimes they can tell the difference but think the saving is worth it, sometimes they think paying more is worthwhile.

If you have some wiggle room in your budget it's well worth doing the above. We've found there are some things where we don't mind spending a bit more for the branded version, but equally some products where even the cheapest of cheap versions is fine. Or actually we'd rather do without than have a cheap version.

I’d be physically repulsed by a whining man who refuses to do such a bare minimum, basic thing as going to a supermarket. How embarrassing. As he refuses to shop, you get to refuse to listen to his drivel, and refuse to cater for him.

Why did he just assume? Sounds like he's got into the habit of moaning for the sake of it.
I'm sure you haven't locked him in the house, so if he needs Heinz beans he can go and buy them.

Just tell him that if he wants the branded stuff then he needs to find more money to put in the shopping budget.

He clearly has no agency or involvement in shopping or cooking. Why?

I also agree with him - buying cheap is often a false economy. That doesn’t mean buying brand names, it just means not buying the absolute cheapest poor quality.

I think YABU because you enable it.

If he's not happy, he needs to come up with some suggestions. Lazy so and so, whingeing at you then refusing to do anything to change Things, like go shopping!

I'm on a budget, though not an exceptionally tight one. I spent ages trying different brands/own brands and in the majority of cases I've ended up with supermarket own brand either by preference or because they taste the same for less cost. Some examples are:

I used to bake a fair bit. Shopping for ingredients one day when money was tight I realised that own brand flour was less than half the price of branded. It's just milled wheat, I can't really see how there could be any difference.
Sugar is sugar is sugar. It's just about all beet sugar these days unless exceptionally expensive & marked as such. don't think I even see Tate & Lyle rather than silver spoon these days.
ASDA own brand butter for block (cooking) butter. Again, no difference & tastes fine for much less money.
Own brand oat flakes rather than Ready Brek - identical.
Milk, unless you're drinking it cold, no difference between own brand & brands. I gather that Cravendale filtered can taste very slightly different, but I didn't notice.
Off the shelf basic medications are identical to branded ones e.g. Panadol contains 500mg paracetamol, so does supermarket own brand.

On the other hand, some things really do taste different e.g. some teas (though I would love to find a cheap one identical to Yorkshire), coffee I can mostly understand. Most of ASDA bakery goods I prefer to branded. Chocolate still trying to find an own brand I really like. ASDA own brand cheddar won taste tests over branded ones, as do many other similar items.

Looking back at these examples, I notice that the basic and staple foods seem to all be much of a muchness. It's only the more "luxury" end of the market where I can really tell any difference and often even then the cheaper product is as good.

tell him if he's so annoyed, the solution is he can go and earn more money then he can have name brand sauce and beans. ridiculous behaviour on his part

I know this is not the point, but if you can get to a Home Bargains, there’s tons of cheap branded cupboard food there: biscuits, cereal, etc. I go there before I do my supermarket shop.

There's some things I buy the brands of, but for a lot of things, I find the Lidl/Aldi versions (these are my two closest supermarkets) are at least as good and sometimes better - you've just got to experiment (and hide the packets so he doesn't whinge out of habit)

He could be right though? I won't eat a lot of the cheaper stuff, the savings aren't worth the loss of taste.

i think everyone has things they won’t go without . Go take the toilet paper is one of them . And sorry but I would nit buy crappy bacon either . Maybe sit down with him and give him a choice of things you won’t change ?
mim assuming you share a income too so he should get choice too ?

For items that you can exchange secretly, just don't tell him.

Hand him the budget and the list and let him do the shop. He needs to understand the cost of these products .

‘ If you are that upset about your beans/bacon/Ariel stop telling me email Putin or better still fly to Moscow and tell him directly that his shit war is having an impact on your breakfast. I am not your mother or saviour’

I would not stand for his childish whining op. From the get go it should have been snuffed out. Stop the appeasement and let him crack on with the shopping and cooking.