DH constant comments & moaning about stuff

[CostoflivingDH]

Like most others our family have had to rethink budgeting. We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff and I’ve made quite a few changes to our grocery shop.

DH is constantly ‘commenting’ and really annoying me.

’oh can’t we afford Charmin anymore this toilet roll is not very good, you need to use twice the amount’

’This bacon is so thin it all breaks up and you can’t cook it properly’

’I don’t like this brown sauce, why can’t we have HP?’

’Are you sure this detergent cleans as well as Ariel?’

’I need Heinz beans, these taste like shit’

’Are these the cheap, basic range eggs? We should get free range where the chickens can roam’

’The chocolate on these biscuits tastes cheap, where’s the chocolate hobnobs?’

and on and on. I’ve explained as he well knows that everything costs more, he obviously knows this but just responds with ‘it’s a false economy though as most of this is either shit or you have to use twice the amount’. I’ve suggested he does the shopping but he refuses.

I’m a savvy shopper and am good at finding offers and bargains.

Does this cause friction in your household? He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

What an enormous turn-off to listen to someone complaining about needing more loo paper to wipe their bum!

Most non-brand things are fine, better even: supermarket own loo roll, red sauce – it’s often spicier and less sweet than Heinz, ditto beans. I’d still buy the “good” slash expensive bacon, butter, and eggs.

Buy plain digestives and hob nobs but deny this and claim they have the thickest layer of chocolate ever: do a loud “Mmmm” when eating one.

I’d tell him to shut up cos you’re not his mother!

How very 1st world, that someone has nothing better to do than bang on about chickens on a thread that has nothing to do with chickens all day. There’s a thread over on the relationships forum about about a someone’s relationship with their MIL and it’s full of the same complaints about chickens. Is it just a troll that picks thread at random and targets it with chicken poop?

He needs to be an adult and take some responsibility instead of moaning. If he refuses to get involved with shopping and keeping bills down then he gets what he's given. He needs to think of some solutions himself if he's not happy.

Why not compromise and ask him to choose 3 things that he specifically wants the branded version of? As a working adult he should have some say but also needs to accept the budget doesn't stretch to his expectations. We won't have cheap tomato sauce, cheap eggs or butter, these are our non-negotiables but all the other stuff we're happy to chop and change as per finances

Random thoughts:

When I worked at Boots, I learned their own brand baby products were made by Johnsons. Same ingredients, same bottles, different labels, lower price. I'm convinced the same thing happens with food.

People can struggle with change especially when it represents loss or less. I'm told my grandfather was a shit to my grandmother when rationing came in - it was clearly her fault.

Subterfuge: buy one tin Heinz beans, one own brand, and mix.

Tell him you DO buy free range eggs as I think you've indicated, but show him articles about birds having to stay in.

Go to Aldi and Iceland - great finds, lower prices, including treats (nice chocolate, snacks, drink), and good basics like frozen and fresh fish, green veg and fruit.

I get cheaper branded products at Savers and Home Bargains.

Cleaning - I haven't quite gone the bicarbonate of soda, lemon juice, white vinegar route yet ... But I'm watching Sort Your Life Out and may do!

I don’t understand why he’s not able to go to the shops himself, or do an online order. He can’t moan about what you buy if you’re the only one doing it.
I think I’d cede the responsibility to him temporarily and see what he comes up with. I’m with him on hating budget products but maybe if he was the responsible one, he’d start to be a b,e to make some compromises.

Every time he moans I’d say “so what’s your solution to be able to afford the branded items now everything is more expensive? What do you want to cut down on instead?” If he hasn’t got an alternative suggestion (and making economies on things only you like or do isn’t it!) tell him to stop moaning then.

Stop doing the shopping op, let him do it

Slightly off topic but expensive brands often don't taste any better. We once did a blind test with a friend who insisted Heinz beans are the only ones worth eating and he couldn't even pick them out, out of the 3 offered! If someone insisted something tastes like shit because it doesn't have a specific label... I'd think they're not very bright. Especially as a lot of own brand stuff is made and packaged in the exact same places!

For me, economising on the quality of the food I eat would be an absolute last resort, so I can understand his perspective. I don’t compromise on Yorkshire tea, McVities dark chocolate digestives, lurpak & Budvar lager.
I would go through my budget line by line together to find other things which we could cut back on, but I would insist that both partners work on finding solutions together rather than one cutting back & the other whingeing about it.

I do our weekly shopping online and obviously its become way more expensive(oh pays for the food) so I've tried to cut down on certain things or changed brands. If oh complains about cost or brand of food I tell him to do the shopping himself next time, he soon shuts up :)

I guess it really does depend on if there is money for it, or the OP likes being a savvy shopper, or would rather spend the money on something she values.

DH does the main shopping for us, I’d be really pissed off if he downgraded the things I like when we can afford the price rise without even having a conversation with me about the difference in price and where else could we save.

Is it more of a case of your feelings have changed for your husband over the years and he’s annoying you more and more? I don’t expect this behaviour is new, so I’d question why it’s not affecting you.

Change them n don’t tell him. I changed to tesco own Cheerios £1, nobody noticed as I decant them into plastic decanters. Beans I buy Asda’s essentials brand. Nobody noticed the difference. The only thing I can’t buy cheaper is fairy liquid. Nothing works as well as that and I do end up going through more.

Heinz beans are the worst anyway, I much prefer Aldi.

Heinz used to be good, but a few years the beans noticeably shrank and the tin contained more sauce. They just think people are stupid or don't care.

Sorry to be blunt but your husband is a snob. A lot of brand obsession comes from a place comes from a place of snobbery. Just because it’s named brands doesn’t make it “the best” your basically paying for the name & fancier packaging. There is nothing wrong with having a few brands that you prefer but it’s silly to have a cupboard full of only brands. P**sing money away if you ask me.

We buy mostly own brands with the exception of a couple of items & that’s purely because after trying other brands those one the ones we genuinely prefer on taste etc. E.g. I buy Oatly Barista because I think it’s the nicest oat milk for my coffee. Sometimes it’s worth paying a little more on some items like meat but most of the time it really isn’t.

might be worth getting husband to watch Eat Well For Less on BBC IPlayer. They look at how to save families money on their food shop challenge people’s perceptions on own brands. Often the ones who swear by their favour brands cannot spot the difference when the product has been swapped without their knowledge.

you need to stick to your guns a bit. Money is tight at the moment & your being sensible by your family. Don’t let this man-child make finances harder because he wants his brand biscuits. He needs to grow up. And if he’s dead set he wants certain items then he has to accept having them less often as it’s too expensive for a weekly shop

Only got half a tin? How much does he normally have?!

We do a mixture of aldi/Lidl and sainsburys/Tesco with some branded goods but based on taste or usefulness
If it’s expensive but better then just use less or have it less often
DS and I did a blind taste test on beans a while ago Branston came our best and can often be found in B n M bargains type shops
I prefer sainsburys high power washing up liquid to fairy

They will be in a barn. In normal non bird flu outbreaks, you get caged, barn and then free range.

Years ago a relative of mine worked in a bacon factory....the same bacon would go into different packaging....M&S....Tesco....Kwik Save etc.....it was all exactly the same stuff....I dont belive for a second that premium brands are better...you are just paying more for the tv ads etc.

This 👌spot on. I always watch eat well fjr less & the amount of times they’ve gone to factories etc & shown the same products being made exactly the same way being them one goes in a big brand bag at £2 a pop & rest goes into budget own brand bag at 50p a bag. From memory it was dried pasta.

mom a big fan of Aldi brands there are loads that are often nicer. With a few exceptions as with anything

it’s a big con half the time. Spend more money where warranted & where you can afford but personally I think people who only buy big brands are mugs

My DH has phases of making comments on the shopping. Mostly along the lines of oh you’ve been on a shopping spree again have you. When I’ve restocked the cupboard/cleaning items/ freezer etc so normal family groceries.

the last time he did it I went on strike. I picked up my own bits and pieces so I had food for my own meals and my own toiletries etc and left the family shopping to him. He hasn’t done it again for a while now - he didn’t like the outcome- but has no doubts of how I’ll respond if he does.

You mean he doesn't currently do any food shopping...? That's pretty retro.