DH constant comments & moaning about stuff

[CostoflivingDH]

Like most others our family have had to rethink budgeting. We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff and I’ve made quite a few changes to our grocery shop.

DH is constantly ‘commenting’ and really annoying me.

’oh can’t we afford Charmin anymore this toilet roll is not very good, you need to use twice the amount’

’This bacon is so thin it all breaks up and you can’t cook it properly’

’I don’t like this brown sauce, why can’t we have HP?’

’Are you sure this detergent cleans as well as Ariel?’

’I need Heinz beans, these taste like shit’

’Are these the cheap, basic range eggs? We should get free range where the chickens can roam’

’The chocolate on these biscuits tastes cheap, where’s the chocolate hobnobs?’

and on and on. I’ve explained as he well knows that everything costs more, he obviously knows this but just responds with ‘it’s a false economy though as most of this is either shit or you have to use twice the amount’. I’ve suggested he does the shopping but he refuses.

I’m a savvy shopper and am good at finding offers and bargains.

Does this cause friction in your household? He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

What? Like Mummy hiding the blended broccoli. He is a grown man ffs!!!

I moaned to dh that he'd bought clover instead of lurpak... til he explained the price difference.... clover it is then! 🤣 I accepted his reasoning because I'm a reasonable adult

Your husband is not 12. If he doesn't like what you're buying then agree a weekly budget for food shopping and he can do the shopping. If he expects you to do the shopping then he keeps his mouth shut about it. Problem solved

What would you buy if your preferred eggs weren’t available?

None, I'd go without.

OP's DH is right about the loo roll! The other thing I have to have is Heinz ketchup, all own brand I've tried has been horrible.

Yes, for some peace 😂

You sound more like his housekeeper than his wife! He "refuses" to do the shopping??

Jesus you are paying in so many ways for your idea of ‘peace’

What do you mean?

Yup! I experimented and Asda Shades quilted is really very good. I think it's as good as Charmin and better than Andrex. Aldi quilted is also pretty decent.

Appeasing a man child is a sure fire of guaranteeing more of the same. It’s pathetic.

How can any woman respect herself let alone command any respect from others if her response to childish man bleating is scuttling around behind the scenes hiding cans of beans! It’s honestly astonishing you have recommended that she does this.

Ok 😂

Have you tried Aldi? It's rather good. The rate my DS3 uses it we tried it and he's happy. I still buy HP, however a PP upthread said the Aldi extra special brown us nicer (glass bottle too) so I'm on the hunt to try it.

Sit down and have a man to man.
Agree that he is right about the differences. Point out why you are now eating crappy brands.

Explain to him that the the economic climate does not have to make your marriage and family life crap as well.

Ask him to be responsible for keeping the home happy, smiling in the face of adversity - like the people during WWII.

Ask him to internally strategise ways of showing the kids that all is well .Ask him to find and voice things to be grateful about. Ask him not to be an unattractive winger because if he does not it makes a huge difference to how you all cope.

If he must be upset (privately) tell him to write a book comparing brands and telling people what to buy and to sell that book for a lot of money - or put his energy into home inventing 100 tasty biscuits and a tasty rice and bean dish every week - that is the only way grumbling, might be productive.

Sounds like a brand snob. Buy cheap stuff and decant into branded bottles -10:1 he won't notice.

I think you can negotiate here and decide which branded / pricy items you really want to keep and others to give up. We have changed a few products but others I wouldn't and we have less often. If you are in charge of the budget, you could show him in black and white the difference in cost. As pp said, some products are false economy. The price rises are noticeable even in budget supermarkets like Lidl - wafer thin ham today was £4.49!!!

I have and it was OK-ish but not enough to convince me to change. DH isn't fussy what brown sauce he has so I might send him to Aldi for his!

Not the point of the thread, but there are no current housing orders in Scotland.

Try Aldi Chunky Chocolate (blue wrapper). It's very nice. DH loves his chocolate and approves. They do a Whole Nut in a brown wrapper and Fruit and Nut in purple - also get the thumbs up.

Their Specially Selected Chocolate Chunk Cookies are the 'Best on the market' according to him too (better than Fox's and M&S apparently).

He's still a Lavazza guy for night-time coffee, but rates Tesco everyday beans (strength 3) as fabulous for daytime. Says they're better than Taylor's. He does buy other beans locally, but they're more of a treat.

I'm definitely trying it, HP was £4.50 the other week!

he was outraged that he only got half a tin of beans with his egg and chips the other day!

Christ, how much does he eat?

Give him the weekly budget and send him off to the shop to do it himself.

Maybe he'd like to work more hours or take a second job so he can have those things again?

Tell him to make more money then

I'm so glad we share the shopping. DH is even more careful than me and can come a cropper. Some of the cheap instant coffee he has bought himself has gone in the bin because he says it's undrinkable

I'd rather cut back elsewhere then on the quality of food I buy. I don't want to put shit into my body.

YANBU
Give your dh the shopping budget…in cash so he can’t overspend,….. and send him out to do the shopping.

That should do it.
Actions speak louder than words

Years before current cost of living situation my then fiance (now dh) was like that. I'd grown up with very little money so branded stuff was always insanely expensive to me. He however was adamant that branded was best, would moan if he saw I'd bought sainsbos own brand etc (we didn't have any Aldi's/Lidls near us at that time). I was fed up of it when it cleaned just as good, so one day bought the stupid expensive branded stuff, made sure he saw it being used. When it came time to get more I just kept the old box and filled it with the own-brand stuff. Used own brand for over half a year before he made some sort of comment in the supermarket about "branded is best". I then told him he'd been using own brand for the past half a year, I'd just been refilling a branded box. He never complained again.