DH constant comments & moaning about stuff

[CostoflivingDH]

Like most others our family have had to rethink budgeting. We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff and I’ve made quite a few changes to our grocery shop.

DH is constantly ‘commenting’ and really annoying me.

’oh can’t we afford Charmin anymore this toilet roll is not very good, you need to use twice the amount’

’This bacon is so thin it all breaks up and you can’t cook it properly’

’I don’t like this brown sauce, why can’t we have HP?’

’Are you sure this detergent cleans as well as Ariel?’

’I need Heinz beans, these taste like shit’

’Are these the cheap, basic range eggs? We should get free range where the chickens can roam’

’The chocolate on these biscuits tastes cheap, where’s the chocolate hobnobs?’

and on and on. I’ve explained as he well knows that everything costs more, he obviously knows this but just responds with ‘it’s a false economy though as most of this is either shit or you have to use twice the amount’. I’ve suggested he does the shopping but he refuses.

I’m a savvy shopper and am good at finding offers and bargains.

Does this cause friction in your household? He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

Free range eggs are a must have for me, I'll go without rather than the cheap ones.

He’s otherwise a reasonable human being and not bad husband.

I'm voting YABU, because I bet neither of those statements are true.

One of the things I've learned from "Eat Well for Less" programme on the BBC is that people like particular products until they are put into plain packaging and they can't tell if it's their usual branded product or not.
Do you have any empty jars/bottles of the sauces that he likes? Put the cheaper products in them and see if he comments.
If he does, then he is a product snob!
Take the labels off and write on the tins what is in them. Then he can't tell the brand if he's looking in the press.

I would have to agree with him somewhat on the toilet paper. I like a particular brand and lots of others either disintegrates when even slightly damp or it doesn't take much. So that is one area that I won't scrimp until I absolutely have to.

Are you doing this because you have to or just because you don’t want to pay more?

If it’s because you can’t afford it then presumably he knows this and Yanbu.

However that said there’s certain things I won’t compromise on for example lurpak. My oh might buy cheaper stuff but he knows not to because i only like lurpak. Difference is we can afford it but like most people we are cutting back where we can to offset price increases.

if like us you can afford it then you need to sit down and compromise, draw up a list of things that are non negotiable like Heinz and lurpak and agree what you’re both happy to skimp on.

I guess this is the plus side to being divorced. I buy what I want and can afford. The kids sometimes complain. Certain brands I buy only when they’re reduced in the supermarket on an offer. I do shop sainsburys which I know is dearer than most but I don’t mind their own brand food so we do use many of those things. Kids prefer own brand ketchup and mayo. I prefer own brand soya milk as the Alpro is twice the price and a stronger taste. I usually buy the 30p own brand custard creams and bourbons and will only get Oreo for example when on half price offer. We often get different packed lunch snacks each week as I usually for go for whatever is £1 for a pack of 6 (wrapped biscuits/cakes etc). Kids love Pringles but I only buy when they’re on the red sticker!!

I would suggest doing your previous food shop to include branded items and keeping the reciept, then buy the equivalent 'knock offs' and keeping that reciept. (If you can afford to do so obv) and show him the difference in price. Then he can decide if it's something he wants to continue with. All this assuming you have a shared income. In my home if we bought branded items our weekly shop would be £150+ shopping at Aldi has reduced our food bill by £60-£80. We now spend around £60-£90 PW depending on what we need (toiletries/cleaning supplies) there's 5 of us and 2 dogs just for context

Omg does he not realise we’re in a cost of living crisis? I’m not sure where you are but in the uk right now we’re struggling to get hold of broccoli, tomatoes, peppers and let’s not even mention eggs! Save money where you can. I used to work for Aldi and any of the stuff they sell own brand is rigorously tested against the leading brand to make sure it’s decent quality as in blind taste tests, if he’s that bothered get him to go shopping and realise how expensive it is to feed a family

If OP comes back to the thread - the missing bit of information is - can they afford the higher prices and she doesn’t want to spend that on food/groceries, or can they not afford it? She says she likes being a savvy shopper, that’s not the same as needing to save money on the food shop.

if the higher food prices are affordable to this household, then the OP is being unreasonable to insist on the cheap brands. If they are not affordable, then he is being unreasonable. If they could be affordable if reasonable cut backs happened elsewhere in the household budget, then there’s a conversation to be had about how joint money is spent.

the one wanting to save money isn’t automatically in the right just because other people are being forced to trade down food brands.

I completely agree @LimeCheesecake. If I like something I will only change to a cheaper brand if I have to, I don't see the point of going without if I can afford it. It would annoy me if DH suddenly decided we were cutting back on things I like if we didn't have to.

If OP comes back to the thread - the missing bit of information is - can they afford the higher prices

The OP's first post says "We can no longer afford to buy all branded stuff". But her AIBU is more about her husband moaning about it.

Thus I don't think she's looking for budgeting advice.

agree, I wouldn’t buy eggs if I couldn’t afford free range

Well at least your husband doesn't sabotage by still buying expensive brands. To be fair we can still afford to but I think the prices are so ridiculous these days I'm refusing to. I swapped 70% of my grocery shop to Lidl and Aldi. Then split the rest to local green grocers and fishmongers and then Tesco/M&S/Sainsbury's. DH on the other hand buys nearly everything in M&S even when branded options are cheaper. It's so infuriating.

..and if you read the thread, many people have rightly pointed out that ALL hens are caged atm due to avian flu

All hens are not caged at the moment. Those that were previously free range are currently indoors in barns, not in single hen cages, as the caged ones are.

Yup, fair enough.
What I should have said was that there are no free-range available at the moment.
Apologies.

Well if he refuses to do the shopping he’s just going to have to like or lump whatever you buy isn’t he? 🤷🏻‍♀️