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Original poster

To resent wealthy friends holidays

219 replies

Catlover78 · 22/02/2023 22:27

I dread school holidays. Mostly because everyone we know has way more money than us resulting in an endless stream of Instagram or Facebook posts of skiing, Dubai, Thailand, whatever. I know I should feel happy for them, but I just feel like a failure that I can’t give my kids these experiences. I do my best to avoid social media, but inevitably this topic crops up in conversation and I find myself feeling small and ashamed that we just go to Wales for a long weekend. I know there are people me with far bigger issues than this, but I’m a bit worn down feeling skint and jealous.

OP posts:
Bryonny84 · 22/02/2023 22:30

Do not feel jealous at all. I bet your kids just have the best time going to Wales and they don't even have the tiniest thought of doing anything else. Other people do other things and you do your thing. I'd be proud to take my kids away to do fun stuff so no more of this "ashamed" nonsense.

TomatoSandwiches · 22/02/2023 22:35

Comparison is the thief of joy.

There will be people that don't even go to Wales for a long weekend op, try to make the most of what you can do I'm sure your children will have fond memories of those times, even more so if mum/dad have a positive mindset on the trip.

Scottishskifun · 22/02/2023 22:37

There is a reason in the saying comparison is a joy thief! Because it is!

My DH never went abroad as a child he was 19 when he first got a passport and got on a plane. Yet he talks about his childhood camping holidays with a twinkle in his eyes and amazing fondness (we are mid 30s!)

Enjoy what you guys do and amazing memories doesn't have to cost lots of money

Doyoumind · 22/02/2023 22:38

I know I give my DC holidays they enjoy, but I'm a single mum so I can't afford the same holidays that other people go on. When people are off skiing or on long haul holidays I feel bad for DC as it's not something we're ever likely to do. I remember a colleague once telling me how cheap flights to the US were, but they were more than I usually spend on a whole holiday.

espresso14 · 22/02/2023 22:41

Unfollow people! All the amazing photos, but few will tell you the immense stress of trying to get packed on top of work/ daily life, dealing with moaning in the airport/mid flight, sqabbling on the plane. I bet you could post some amazing photos of your Wales trips too, or just keep the lovely memories between those who were there instead.

WaddleAway · 22/02/2023 22:43

We can’t even afford a long weekend in wales 🤷🏻‍♀️. I don’t feel bad about it though, it is what it is. We do lots of nice things and my children are happy.

PolicyOfTruth · 22/02/2023 22:50

Screw them. My kids go to a posh school where there are some multimillionaires and they have bigger garages than my house and go on multiple holidays on their yacht in Barbados (I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not). I can't personally afford a holiday of any sort and haven't been in a holiday in years. However, my children love their school and as a family, we're happy. Yes, I'd love to jet off to somewhere warm, but that's just not an option and I'm lucky enough to have a nice garden and a comfortable home and that'll do.

PolicyOfTruth · 22/02/2023 22:51

Oh yeah and ditch Facebook. I gave up all that "my breakfast is better than your breakfast" crap years ago and I'm far happier for it.

StaringAtTheWater · 22/02/2023 22:52

I don't think kids think about these things the same way adults do. My son has been to France, Spain, Italy, Slovakia, Austria, Portugal, Greece, Malta, USA, Singapore. I asked him the other day what his favourite holiday he'd ever done was, and he said Wales 🤷‍♀️ and that time we roasted marshmallows (at a hotel in Dorset)

Also remember you are just seeing the curated best bits on social media, not the realistic picture. Your friends don't take pictures of the tantrums when the kids get too hot, when they are up in the middle of the night with jet lag, when they get covered in mosquito bites, etc etc.

If your kids want to travel the world they can do it when they are adults, and they'll probably get a lot more out of it then.

Luredbyapomegranate · 22/02/2023 22:57

Comparison is the thief of joy is it.

It’s totally normal to wish you had more cash and could do more stuff (and no you do not to be actively happy about other peoples safaris). However you don’t and you can’t so try and focus on what’s great about your do have, and mute some feeds.

Knulp · 22/02/2023 22:59

Wales???

Luxury! ,

last time I went on holiday was 13 years ago, and the last day off 3 years ago,

When I was a lad, I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

And you try and tell the young people of today that ... they won't believe you.

MrsHughesPinny · 22/02/2023 23:01

Solidarity from me. When you’re the odd one out financially in your peer/friendship group it’s really hard. It’s totally natural to feel envious and regretful. Being Welsh, I can truthfully say it’s a fabulous place for a holiday but I definitely get it.

redbigbananafeet · 22/02/2023 23:04

I don't understand why anyone would take children to Dubai, nothing to be jealous of.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 22/02/2023 23:07

It is hard when you're the only one on the friendship group that can't afford things. Maybe broaden your friend pool? (Easier said than done, I know!) If you had friends with similar financial constraints you would be able to be more open and happy about your holiday choices etc.

newwings · 22/02/2023 23:12

Catlover78 · 22/02/2023 22:27

I dread school holidays. Mostly because everyone we know has way more money than us resulting in an endless stream of Instagram or Facebook posts of skiing, Dubai, Thailand, whatever. I know I should feel happy for them, but I just feel like a failure that I can’t give my kids these experiences. I do my best to avoid social media, but inevitably this topic crops up in conversation and I find myself feeling small and ashamed that we just go to Wales for a long weekend. I know there are people me with far bigger issues than this, but I’m a bit worn down feeling skint and jealous.

My kids did 36 night around SEA they didn't appreciate it much at all. I wish I hadn't blasted savings. The best times they've had have been in UK caravan parks and PGL.

WetLettuce2 · 22/02/2023 23:30

This is what the Snooze button was designed for !

Also Wales is by far the coolest holiday destination - by far.

BlueHeelers · 22/02/2023 23:49

Get off Facebook.

Lotstosort · 23/02/2023 00:09

I always preferred the holidays we had in the UK as a child. Without the stress of flights and trying to pack into just one suitcase, or else long stressful drives across France.

We currently choose to only holiday in the UK. Partly to avoid the environmental cost of flights, but mainly because it is so much easier with young kids. My closest friends all go on many holiday abroad and skiing each year. That is fine, they enjoy them and I like to see them happy.

Just enjoy your lovely holiday in Wales and if it upsets you avoid social media.

BreviloquentBastard · 23/02/2023 00:14

Some of my happiest childhood memories are staying in a leaky cabin in Wales with my mum and dad and siblings, even though all my friends were jetting off to Australia and America and whatever. I absolutely adored my little Welsh holidays, so much so I now live there!

ThisGirlNever · 23/02/2023 00:18

We went to Norfolk last summer and stayed on a caravan park.

Our 3 year old why out on his balance bike around the park and screamed 'this place is amazing' because he could ride on the park's tarmac roads and over the speed bumps.

We had a lovely time at the beach building sand castles and the sea went so far out, we could sit 30+ meters away and let him play in the puddles with his dumper truck.

A holiday is what you make of it.

LaraWearsZara · 23/02/2023 00:20

I feel your pain OP. My best friends from school days are all financially very comfortable and go on multiple abroad holidays with their young dcs.
We haven't been abroad since 2019 and after uk caravan holidays for the last 3 years I am quite honestly sick of it
It would be great to say "Oh yeah, let's just not compare myself to them, problem solved'
But seeing my dc the same age as theirs pointing at planes in the sky asking why they never get to go on one quite frankly breaks my heart. Especially as me and DH work the longest hours out of our entire friendship group

WentForAWalk · 23/02/2023 00:24

My best holidays as a child were 15 of us in a 4 berth caravan in the rain.

When my children were younger, we could only afford the long weekend caravan type holidays. They are now older and have all travelled extensively. They all still loved and appreciated our wet holidays much closer to home.

ohfibonacci · 23/02/2023 00:25

Don’t feel bad. We do lots of overseas trips but my kids favourite ones are ones spent with friends and family, not the ritziest ones. My favourite childhood holidays were west coast Scotland and a caravan holiday in Wales! Both with friends. Try and think of ways to make what you do special and turn off social media! Remember it’s only a highlights reel!

Hawkins003 · 23/02/2023 00:27

I may not have the trust fund for various travel vlog trips, but if I did I would like to travel a bit, but instead I'm happy with YouTube and watching others vlogs

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 23/02/2023 00:36

They are probably going into debt to have them