To resent wealthy friends holidays

[Catlover78]

I dread school holidays. Mostly because everyone we know has way more money than us resulting in an endless stream of Instagram or Facebook posts of skiing, Dubai, Thailand, whatever. I know I should feel happy for them, but I just feel like a failure that I can’t give my kids these experiences. I do my best to avoid social media, but inevitably this topic crops up in conversation and I find myself feeling small and ashamed that we just go to Wales for a long weekend. I know there are people me with far bigger issues than this, but I’m a bit worn down feeling skint and jealous.

I agree with this

The best holiday I can remember as a kid was centerparcs and we went to all kinds of far flung destinations. It's what you make of it, it really is. As an adult I love luxurious holidays but the kids in the resort just want to splash in the pool, throw beach balls around and pal up with the other children. They honestly couldn't care less where they are.

Dubai looks shite anyway!

To the person who mentioned Clacton, we love Clacton!!
We were completely skint last year due to essential building works, so my mum booked us all a caravan in Clacton as a surprise. I was really sceptical but we all had the most amazing time. We’ve booked again this year and the kids are so excited! There is no wifi at the site, the caravan has a dvd player and they still have a whimpey so it was like going back in time but in the best way possible.

My best holiday as a child was to the IoW. My siblings and I always talk about how amazing it was, we went to the beach, we went to walks, we visited local attractions, we went on the ferry!!! As an adult, having talked to my parents about it, their recollections are completely different. They say it rained everyday, the toilet had carpet and was badly stained and smelly... and I shared a bed with my brother (with my snoring Granny in the other twin). I don't remember any of that stuff at all.

You don't have to feel happy for people who have more than you, it's rarely deserved, it's usually luck and privilege. Growing up in a bubble of privilege is not a gift for your children. It doesn't make them better people, and the flip side of that is that you are not small and you have nothing to feel ashamed about if you didn't/don't have a leg up in life. Your value is not measured in the number of fancy holidays you go on.

No, they probably aren’t. It’s fact that some people are wealthier than others. I see this line trotted out on most holiday threads. It’s fine to accept others can be jealous of others holidays. There’s no need to act like people who go on nice holidays are “probably” in debt.

I truly believe kids much prefer camping to any other type of holiday no question! It’s not for everyone but the experiences they can get from something so simple is immeasurable. They don’t need long haul destination holidays to have a great childhood.

My DD hates camping. So do I. I can’t think of anything worse tbh.

Hmm this is one of them.. we have a few holidays. Not loads but enough for the "oh are you in the country" "oh you've just been off" "you get about"... and it's because we cut our cloth in other areas. My car is 12 years old. Partners is 11. We have modest house. Don't go out drinking much. And mainly, a modest house ... could have got a house for 2.5 x the mortgage or doubled the term but it would have swallowed so much disposal cash as would a new car.

I also think a lot of people live on debt. We often comment about friends who have very expensive houses and two brand new cars on the drive.

My point is nothing is comparable. All that glitters isn't gold.

Come off SM!
Honestly, it’s better for your MH.
I had a friend who used to post stuff about her amazing life, amazing kids, amazing husband, fabulous job etc and I knew it was all rubbish as she was going through a rough time with her husband, her eldest was being diagnosed for behavioural issues and she hated her job!

People only post the happy, time of their life pics on SM and we all know it’s cr*p!

Nice humble brag lol

Wales is a fantastic place. I take my kids to wales. Haven’t been and won’t be able to go abroad for years.

Another one from the "can't even afford Wales" camp. I'd love to be able to go on a long weekend anywhere, especially Wales!

My DH relative constantly posts that they're off in holiday, had a cold so booked a 4 day holiday in the sun last month, in Barbados, Maldives, Bahamas, south of France, Cyprus, or at luxury hotels in the UK every weekend (I wish that was an exaggeration!), DH and I have had months where we've had to use the food bank recently because the energy bills are sky high. I've never even had a passport as I have never left the country. It can be hard to watch when youre struggling, but honestly just ignore it. Hit the "take a break" button and hide their posts.

travel can be stressful and is never all it's made out to be! for what you know they are ending up with tummy bugs, jetlag, arguing on the plane etc. haha! Also you're doing the right thing for the environment!

I would far rather go to Wales than Dubai.

You’re not doing it right then! But all jokes aside I did say it’s not for everyone so no need to point out that you and your DD aren’t fans of it. My post was aimed at highlighting the fact that most children aren’t bothered about big, fancy holidays. Simple pleasures and all that.

I wouldnt be jealous of anyone going to dubai. I would think it questionable to be honest.

I took my kids to WDW Florida from infant school yearly until adulthood, we also used to go camping, they cried after leaving their camping holidays, they never cried coming home from Florida!

I remember our parents taking us to florida disney land when I was around 6 or 7 and honestly what I remember is it being too warm, standing around in ques, hearing my wee brother screaming his head off and tropical rainstorms hitting. The following year we went to haggerston Castle with a couple of other families my parents were friends with and I remember it being just the best time ever.
I assume the first holiday cost my parents alot more than the second!

Currently now if we saved up we probably could afford a foreign holiday but I hate flying and can't be bothered with the stress of it all so we stay domestic and the kids always have a good time!

Little bit of jealous? It wasn't a bragging post at all.

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be mean, and make the OP feel worse. It read, to me, as quite cruel, judgmental and superior.

As someone who has been on both sides of the wealth divide, I can assure you that life isn't quite that simple.
Relative wealth can shift, based on health and other circumstances. It's not all about effort and aspiration.

A lot of people are feeling quite worthless at the moment, due to economic conditions. Empathy isn't natural to everyone, but it's an underrated skill on here sometimes.

Our DCs are adults now but often reminisce about our camping holidays.And rockpooling in Wales and walking our dogs in Cornwall with picnics in backpacks.I honestly thought at one point we were one of the few families not doing Disneyland. Try not to beat yourself up OP.
And now nearing retirement some of our friends have far more exotic and plentiful holidays.But one of my friends husbands told my DH recently he's sick of airports and his wife's obsession with booking trips away.Things aren't always what they seem.And we never went into debt for holidays.Some people do.

I think it depends on your priorities. We’re so frugal with day to day spending but prioritize holidays away as a family. We’re not wealthy but maybe FB would give a different (unrealistic) impression. As a child, I spent summer holidays in caravans in Wales. It was dire, especially when it rained! Tried camping in Wales during lockdown. Would not recommend - awful! I’d rather shop at Aldi and buy clothes in charity shops and enjoy a few weeks in the sun abroad each year. Each to their own!

Ds's most memorable things from the holidays we've been on abroad are generally the buffet breakfasts, the pastry shops or the sweet shops. Honestly give him piles of junk food and he'd be happy holidaying in Hull.

Of course, some (many) of us shop in Aldi and charity shops and can still only manage a caravan in wales. Thankfully I like caravans in wales eh? 😁

You know i fell down a rabbit hole a few months ago by reading a news article about a single woman who was adamant to take her son on multiple “luxury” holidays a year.. the issue was that she couldnt afford to live, had recently lost her job at M&S and her son was like 10 or something so he didn’t care for the holidays!

You know how she afforded it? Credit cards maxed out, and she had multiple maxed out credit cards, she was remortgaging her house and kept saying it would take her like way past her son leaves home after 18 to repay those cards back and she may not even have a house by that time but she justified it saying she will only have this time with her son once and as long as he enjoys it.. it doesn’t matter! (He didnt seem to particularly care imo).

The article ended saying she went on holiday lets say November/December time and it was currently like March or something and she was saying she is already itching for another holiday By August and had already planned out where she was going despite not being able to afford to live. She took lots of pics of her holidays for social media and even admitted she didnt think her son fully appreciated what she was doing for him but she continued 🤨🙄. Just remember most social media “luxury holidays” are funded by maxed out credit cards and similar but you will never see that side!