To resent wealthy friends holidays

[Catlover78]

I dread school holidays. Mostly because everyone we know has way more money than us resulting in an endless stream of Instagram or Facebook posts of skiing, Dubai, Thailand, whatever. I know I should feel happy for them, but I just feel like a failure that I can’t give my kids these experiences. I do my best to avoid social media, but inevitably this topic crops up in conversation and I find myself feeling small and ashamed that we just go to Wales for a long weekend. I know there are people me with far bigger issues than this, but I’m a bit worn down feeling skint and jealous.

A great way of looking at things. I increasingly feel that I have had more than my share of using up the worlds resources so that I can personally see things. It just makes me happy they are there and really, what is so special about me that I get to go? I am in fact as I said above bringing my children to New York for a week this year, booked pre Covid, but am almost certain this will be the last time I leave Europe.

If it helps, I was one of those kids going on exotic holidays all the time. Yet one of the most memorable ones was a camping trip to Cornwall with my less well-off Dad & step family. Don’t get me wrong, the fancy holidays were great fun but the less expensive ones were equally as good and as a child I barely noticed the difference.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with holidays to Wales. My children are pre-school age but having seen the cost of holidays during school holidays I think we’ll be going to the Suffolk coast once they start school. What do you do for work? If being skint is stressing you out is there any way to increase your earnings? (I’m not suggesting that you’re in any way failing your children, I’m just asking because you talk about being down about being skint.)

Skiings too cold, makes your muscles ache and you will come back with bruises if not actually broken bones.
Dubai is too hot, they have a weird attitude to women and a terrible human rights attitude.
Thailand is too far away and you will spend all holiday travelling or getting over jet lag.
Wales sounds perfect!

Honestly I was taken on some wonderful holidays as a child and I barely remember a bloody thing about them .

DM sometimes says ‘Oh you remember that beach where the turtles hatched and crawled back in the sea?’ Ummm nope or ‘You remember going to the Kennedy Space Centre’ again nope but I do remember the big soft pretzel I was bought. I think I didn’t really appreciate holidays abroad until I was 14-15ish.

One of my grandparents lived in Devon and I had the happiest most memorable holidays there.

I do sometimes say to my parents I wish they’d not bothered when I was a kid cause I’m WAY more in need of a fabulous abroad holiday now .

Holidays are the only thing that make me jealous-proper green with envy jealous!

I remember being in rainy Devon in a caravan with my 3 dc and looked online & saw a post from a friend in Saint Tropez. I said to her after the summer holiday how was her time in France? She looked blank and then laughed-she’d forgotten all about it & i’d spent my whole holiday in envy.

I vowed to only every go to somewhere sunny after that, as much as I love the uk! I don’t think children really care where they go when they’re younger.

'Skiings too cold, makes your muscles ache and you will come back with bruises if not actually broken bones.
Thailand is too far away and you will spend all holiday travelling'

Skiing is not cold at all, you wear all the gear that keeps you toasty warm. And the sauna afterward feels like heaven. What are you talking about @Fairyliz ? And with long haul you don't spend 'all holiday travelling' as some people travel business (which I usually look forward to).

You really don't need to be bitter pretending others have a shit time anyway. Just accept that everyone has different holidays, you will be happier then.

OP I can't wait to take my 8 months old camping! That's the holiday I'm looking forward to the most when he's older And also I never went on holiday as a kid, mum was a single mum. Holiday to wales would have been amazing.

This is utterly short sighted and black and white thinking.

I am a single parent. I went to one of the best universities in the world. I have a good job. I manage my finances well.

But we still only have one income, so I generally can’t afford foreign holidays.

Why are you assuming that single parents aren’t educated?

@HistoryFanatic Sorry, that was in reply to @Quitelikeit , not aimed at you!

I had naice foreign holidays to far flung destinations when I was a child but I really wanted to go to Butlins like my friends as it sounded fantastic!

We have friends that take 3/4 abroad luxury holidays a year. Sometimes I get pangs if jealousy, before remembering how myself and our kids hate the heat, the stress of packing and airports etc.
when you ask my dc what their favourite holiday is, it’s been the caravan on the west coast of Scotland we have a lend of from family friends. It costs us a meal voucher and wine. I even admit it’s probably my favourite as well. We are active and I can’t think of anything worse than spending the day laying in the heat around a pool. So boring! Give me my waders and a bucket and sand to go find crabs at the beach any day.

We have expensive, lavish holidays. Kids love them. However they much prefer camping, which we do every May with friends. My mum and dad often take them to a haven holiday site and they love the arcades and the entertainment. Kids essentially like being with you and seeing you having fun. They like a bit of freedom and eating crap food. We have just spent 15k taking them to Florida and their favourite thing was seeing the lizards around and watching basketball on the hotel TV.

You sound very envious and bitter. I don't think many people go into debt for holidays, they budget for them. It may be different in your circle, of course. Priorities differ.

YABVU to actually resent your wealthier friends, who can afford a lot more than you, but you have no idea idea how hard they work for that extra cash, or whether they are up to their eyeballs in Debt, or what is going on in their lives. The grass isn't always greener....

However, YANBU to wish you could give your kids more than you can afford - that is very natural that you want to but your kids won't mind. Really they won't. There are many things you can do with them, to give them happy memories which are either free or very inexpensive. So, please try not to think about what you don't have and try and focus on what you can do. It doesn't do any good to focus on the negatives and I'm sure you are a good Mum. Kids are happy with lots of love and doing fun things - but those fun things do not need to cost a lot. Honestly they don't

OP now imagine the people with the lovely holidays are your sister, BiL and your neice & nephew...then that your holiday isn't to Wales (because 1. you live in Wales & 2 your holidays for most of the last 20 years have been at one of your parents houses or the 3 times abroad where they paid for you & everyone lorded it over you the whole time).

Yep.

#relatableproblems1278thousand

I have to agree with NextLevelNonsense about QuiteLikeIt's post...have graduated uni 3 times & have two Level 7 quals, yet am currently 17.5k a year for a professional job which requires said Level 7 qual (unfortunately par for the course when you decide to help other people for a living - perhaps this is why public sector staff are striking? So they can actually afford to live / save money for holidays).

You're only making yourself miserable, which your kids will pick up on.
I can afford lots of amazing experiences, my kids have experienced incredible things in the last 12 months alone (holiday to Mexico where we swam wild with dolphins, had a sting Ray encounter, cycled through the tree tops with monkeys on a high wire, climbed a volcano on a camel in lanzarote, descended into the most beautiful caves, visited a secluded lagoon, visited ancient cities and ruins in Turkey, and hopped over to Cyprus and sampled authentic cuisine in October half term. The year before we did Disney at Christmas...

My kids all time favourite holidays

• camping about 10 miles up the road from our house in a tent, with no loo
• caravan holidays (anywhere!)
• cheap b&b in Blackpool, spending most of their time playing 2p machines in the Arcades.

That is no word of a lie! Kids aren't as bothered by big fancy holidays.. that's us adults that are!

April fool because you decided to go into a career earning 17.5k a year then you’ll know that is going to limit you in terms of luxury holidays

Many people don’t pick a career they love but go for a lucrative career in order to have a certain standard of living.

I am just giving perspective from a side where those who want the house, car, holidays etc set out to achieve them but I do appreciate things can hinder that.

You’re so right to avoid social media. I went on a lot of far flung, mad holidays when my DC were young with my now, DexH. Most of those holidays I was really, really unhappy! This Easter we’re going to a rented cottage near Durham to explore the area. I couldn’t be more excited! Travelling overseas with DC’s is actually quite hard work and it truly is the company not the backdrop that counts. Just as a thought could you join a home swapping website?

I have spring break coming up in March. We are going to Dubai as I have work meetings which can’t be rescheduled. Children are coming with me because I’m a divorced single parent and the children are with me that week. I’d prefer to be in Wales with them. I hate these trips with the children because I can’t be fully present for either the children or work.

I absolutely understand why it could be upsetting not to be able to afford holidays but why all the bitterness about other people's holidays ?
Personally I have visted Wales a few times but it in no way compares to summer in Greece, skiing in Austria etc .
Why diss these things just because you don't like them ?

We holiday loads but we sacrifice other things to do this . I just don't get the mean attitude towards other people's choices .
My kids' best memories are holidays abroad , water parks , theme parks , skiing etc.

Exactly this. I worked 3 jobs from the age of 17 - 25 whilst also at college, because I needed the experience to go with the qualifications. It took me a LOT of hard work to achieve what I have today and I chose not to have children until I could afford them.
Now we are extremely "comfortable", go abroad several times a year as well as exploring the UK too. We are not in debt, I worked for what I have

You know some families are choosing between heating and eating!?!
You need to get a grip.
Jealousy is ugly.

like so many others have said, your kids don’t care. My family were scattered across Asia/UAE, and so we have done quite a bit of long haul to places like Thailand and Dubai to visit them. My kids favourite holiday was a caravan in Cornwall.

Do your thing, make memories, have fun. Be thankful for a change of scene!

Thing is you have no idea how much people are actually spending. It is perfectly possible to do a cheap sun holiday- probably cheaper than Wales. From the odd photo you might not know if someone has spent £2k for 5 days or £15k for a fortnight. Skiing could be luxury resorts for £££ or self drive, budget accommodation.