DB and SIL are divorcing due to SIL having an affair and leaving for another man. The other man has since ended things as the reality of living with 3 children (SIL’s from a previous relationship) was too much for him apparently.
While this has been going on, I sold my business and planned to give my siblings a monetary gift however have been advised to wait until after my brother’s divorce otherwise it could possibly be classed as a marital asset.
SIL has since got wind of this and has been sending demanding solicitor letters wanting to know exact amounts, payment dates etc. The latest letter contains bank details so I can pay SIL “her 50% directly to expedite the process”. I have obviously ignored all letters.
Yesterday, SIL posted a long rant on FB claiming that I am being financial abusive
to her - a single mother with 3 kids to support - and that I am trying to swindle her out of what is rightly hers! So many of the comments were saying that I was being vindictive, punishing her children, forcing her and the kids into poverty, how could I sleep at night etc. She also blamed me for my DB “leaving her high and dry” as I’ve apparently poisoned him against trying to repair the relationship.
I absolutely don’t think I’m being unreasonable by ensuring she doesn’t get a single penny of my money however I’d really like some reassurance as the comments on FB were unanimous that I was wrong!
AIBU?
Soon to be ExSIL accusing me of financial abuse!
WhatsTheGistPhysicist · 20/02/2023 02:44
Am I being unreasonable?
2697 votes. Final results.
POLLPlayer001 · 20/02/2023 03:06
You are not being unreasonable in the slightest. Your ex SIL is an opportunistic money grabbing cow. And I guarantee those with an equally corrupt moral compass that are agreeing with her on fb also blame your DB for her having an affair.
If you wanted to fight fire with fire you could get your own solicitor to send her a cease and desist or find herself being accused of defamation.
But I wouldn't give what she or her chavvy mates think of you another thought.
user1492757084 · 20/02/2023 05:08
I would cease all communication with S.I.L unless by lawer. In fact I would hire a lawyer to write her a final letter stating that she has no legal claim to any of your hard earned money and that she needs to stop harrassing you and defaming your good name. Include evidence of her behaviour so it is documented. Keep copies of any further harrassment so that you can take out an intervention order on her if need be.
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Trez1510 · 20/02/2023 03:40
Although I agree with your moral argument, I'd also say, just to be sure, make sure you delay the gifts to all your siblings until brother's divorce is concluded.
Otherwise, she may have a legal (although not moral) case of him 'cheating' her of assets if only his gift is delayed.
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