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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About not moving on the train?

358 replies

TrainSitu · 19/02/2023 16:13

I’ve recently had shoulder surgery but I am now out of a sling so I guess I don’t look injured. I’m sat at a table seat on the train to get back to my work area after visiting my dad.

I’ve got my backpack on the table and my big bag was put up on the top by a lovely man who offered to put it up. We get to the next station and it’s absolutely heaving and a mother with 3 kids gets on. Everyone files into seats and someone sits opposite me. She then approaches and asks if the other 2 seats are reserved. I said no and she could have them and sat the kids down. She then looks and me and say says “I’ve got 3 children who need a seat please can they have yours” I said no I’ve recently had shoulder surgery and still recovering so standing on a packed train would be too painful. She then continually said “ I have 3 kids though”

At this point I said “I’m not particularly bothered by the amount of kids you have but I will be staying in this seat as I need it too if you have any issues please go speak to the train conductor” The look she gave me could kill!

So AIBU for not moving? The original guy who put my bag in the overhead rack ended up telling her to leave me alone as she kept repeating about her 3 kids. I feel like a cow bag but a justified one!

NC for this so it can’t be linked to any previous threads.

OP posts:
Indáirire · 19/02/2023 16:14

You were absolutely in the right. Really cheeky to ask you to move.

Lkydfju · 19/02/2023 16:16

There’s no reason why you should need to move in that scenario. Unless they’re little kids then kids are more able to stand than adults and if all three were little (under 5 for example) I’m sure they could have shared

murasaki · 19/02/2023 16:16

You were there first, her number of kids is not your problem. I assume you couldn't book? If you could, she should have done.

OhNoNotThatAgain · 19/02/2023 16:16

Cheeky mare. Especially since you told her that you are recovering from surgery. If there were three seats available and yours was the fourth, then the three kids sit on the seats and their mother stands.

Hbh17 · 19/02/2023 16:17

YANBU. As children, our parents always made us stand on public transport if adults needed a seat. I don't see any reason why that should have changed.

radiatorflush · 19/02/2023 16:17

Oh I feel for you op. I'm the same. Disabled but don't look it and I got nasty comments for not moving when I was sat in my reserved seat. Apparently it wouldn't have made any difference to me.

Supernova23 · 19/02/2023 16:18

I'd laugh at her. Absolutely no reason a child can't stand for a bit. People get on an off trains all the time, there would probably be seats available by the next stop. If she asked again I'd tell her to eff off.

murasaki · 19/02/2023 16:18

The helpful man sounded nice though, but it shouldnt take him intervening to shut her up.

Original poster
TrainSitu · 19/02/2023 16:19

Okay now I feel a bit better about it 😂 nope couldn’t book it’s literally first come first serve!

I would say all the kids look about 10 years + and all of them carrying football boots so no reason to need the seat per say.

OP posts:
murasaki · 19/02/2023 16:21

Is she still there giving you evils? I hope not. Try to relax, you are in the right.

Womencanlift · 19/02/2023 16:22

And did she ask the person that sat across from you to move or just you? Let me guess the person across from you was a man and she didn’t want to disturb him

YADNBU and she said a good response to her. Just because she has kids doesn’t allow her to be and entitled CF

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 19/02/2023 16:23

YANBU.

Starburst8 · 19/02/2023 16:23

I don't understand the mindset of people with children these days. Back in my day, kids stood and let the adults have the seats.
I have a 4 year old, if there isn't a seat for him, I will stand with him.
Moving adults for children is ridiculous in my opinion.

custardbear · 19/02/2023 16:24

I'd have told her she needs to keep looking then if that's the case as this is my seat thank you!

ShakespearesBlister · 19/02/2023 16:24

If she kept repeating that to me my response would be along the lines of 'so what do you want, a medal for opening your legs?

Original poster
TrainSitu · 19/02/2023 16:26

Womencanlift · 19/02/2023 16:22

And did she ask the person that sat across from you to move or just you? Let me guess the person across from you was a man and she didn’t want to disturb him

YADNBU and she said a good response to her. Just because she has kids doesn’t allow her to be and entitled CF

Haha spot on! He offered his seat up and let the kids sit down. She’s now about 5 rows behind me but thankfully can’t see her 😂

Luckily her children don’t seem to have picked her manners as they are very lovely lads.

OP posts:
Mariposista · 19/02/2023 16:27

Children should stand on PT unless disabled or injured (as you are). You did nothing wrong.

America12 · 19/02/2023 16:30

It seems to be a thing now that children get seats on trains and adults have to stand.

woodhill · 19/02/2023 16:31

Absolutely rude of her

woodhill · 19/02/2023 16:32

Yes why can't the dc stand, it's become ridiculous

PriamFarrl · 19/02/2023 16:35

She wanted you to give up your seat so her kids could sit down? No.

harriethoyle · 19/02/2023 16:35

Cheeky cow. YADNBU!! I would have been a lot less polite...

Whammyyammy · 19/02/2023 16:35

The number of times she has given birth is of no relevance to you. Also the fact you have a shoulder injury is of no relevance to her. You were right to not move .
Never ceases to amaze me that people having children gives them some special entertainment

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 19/02/2023 16:36

She was very cheeky! If it was a long journey her kids could’ve taken it in turns to share sitting and standing.

Flossflower · 19/02/2023 16:42

But you can easily sit 3 children in the same space as 2 adults. Why didn’t she try this.
There is no way that I would have moved in the same situation.

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