About not moving on the train?

[TrainSitu]

I’ve recently had shoulder surgery but I am now out of a sling so I guess I don’t look injured. I’m sat at a table seat on the train to get back to my work area after visiting my dad.

I’ve got my backpack on the table and my big bag was put up on the top by a lovely man who offered to put it up. We get to the next station and it’s absolutely heaving and a mother with 3 kids gets on. Everyone files into seats and someone sits opposite me. She then approaches and asks if the other 2 seats are reserved. I said no and she could have them and sat the kids down. She then looks and me and say says “I’ve got 3 children who need a seat please can they have yours” I said no I’ve recently had shoulder surgery and still recovering so standing on a packed train would be too painful. She then continually said “ I have 3 kids though”

At this point I said “I’m not particularly bothered by the amount of kids you have but I will be staying in this seat as I need it too if you have any issues please go speak to the train conductor” The look she gave me could kill!

So AIBU for not moving? The original guy who put my bag in the overhead rack ended up telling her to leave me alone as she kept repeating about her 3 kids. I feel like a cow bag but a justified one!

NC for this so it can’t be linked to any previous threads.

@Xol that's why I said if there was no other option. I just couldn't remain seated while a little 4 year old wobbles about, nor would I have made my young children stand at that age for an able bodied adult.

I suspect you were singled out because you were a woman the man thought he could successfully bully.

And to the OP...
Obviously fine for the Mother to ask. She was clearly wanting to keep them grouped together as she was one adult with three kids.

However absolutely NOT fine for her to expect anyone to move, or to keep on when someone says no (even stating about surgery!). So many injuries or pains are unseen that who knows why anyone needs - or doesn't need - to sit down!

And presumably, as a parent travelling 1:3, you take the risk of having your kids split up. You can't expect anyone to move!

No. You put them on your lap. That’s what my parents did. Have all the dc you like but in that scenario you should be the adult standing up if you want your dc to have a seat.

She was entitled and rude. I hate people like her.

That's horrible!

I have barely taken public transport (or travelled in any way) since I hurt my back years ago. Every part of public transport eg standing/stepping etc is painful... But guess what, I look fine. I hear these stories and think 'eeek'.

I’m confused about whether she asked you to give up your seat (and have to stand) or whether she asked you to move position because you were sitting as a lone person in a position Designed for groups? If there are limited groups of 4 I wouldn’t take one as a single person.

like i said on another thread children stood or sat on parents laps u wouldnt take a seat away from an adult

they play football but cant stand for half an hour or whatever it is

some people these days just mollycoddle too much

Able children should stand if seats are required for others more in need. Yanbu

Since when has there ever been any sort of seating on UK trains designed for groups? It's always been the understanding that (subjects to the rules around priority seats for the disabled, pregnant etc) people are entitled to take any available seats whether they're on their own, in pairs, in groups or whatever. The fact there are tables with four or six seats around them is just optimum use of the space available, not a signal that you should only sit there if you are in a group of four or six.

You were right to stay in your seat.

However, the fact that they were holding football boots does not equate to them not having a disability. Disability football sessions are fantastic for all sorts of reasons.

She asked me to give up my seat so that she could sit with her kids/kids have a seat. I was sat at a table so two either side. Issue was though asking me to stand would have meant I had absolutely nowhere to sit as the train was absolutely packed and I would have been standing for an hour.

They are not reserved though and not necessarily for groups

If they had a disability surely the parent would have said so?

I would always make my son stand and let adult sit down! I think this used to be the norm, but the trend seems to be that children should all be treated like little entitled princes (hardly surprising that behaviour in schools is such a problem now - so many children are never taught to treat adults politely and with respect).

From National Rail: “Children under 5 years of age travel for free on most journeys but check with your train company to make sure. Please note, children under 5 who are travelling without a ticket may only occupy a seat that is not required by a fare-paying passenger.”

I agree that younger children could be injured if they lose their balance but they should be sitting on the lap of the adult they are travelling with. If the under 5s outnumber the parents / guardians they are travelling with (or if the parent has a strong preference for the child to have a seat), National Rail states that a child ticket with reserved seat can be purchased for 50% of the adult fare.

She was a self absorbed twat, I'd never move for a kid unless they were disabled.

Table seats are available to absolutely anyone, 4 individual travellers or a group of 4. You were perfectly right to stay in your seat. She could stand alongside with the 3rd child.

Well done for standing your ground op. She was ridiculous. When you get on a busy train with kids without booking you just have to deal with what seats are left or stand.

Why didn’t she put she 3 kids in the 3 seats and stand herself?

She sounds like that very entitled woman who made a video that went viral a few weeks ago moaning that no adults would stand up and let her precious boy who was about 5 sit in a seat and he was sitting on the floor

That woman got quite rightly ripped apart in the comments of the video

No mention of disability before anyone says that is an excuse

4 year old children, unless they are very large, can sit on an adults lap.

I grew up in London and until I was 6 I had to sit on an adults - parent or sibling 14+ - lap on full public transport.

My DD will go on my lap if the train/bus/tube is full or likely to get very full. If she throws a tantrum about not having her own seat then she can bloody stand up and risk fall over. So far she hasn't done that, but has insisted on standing up on the tube

Oh and lots of 3+ year olds around me are very capable of riding bikes without stabilisers etc so they don't have balance problems.

She deleted the video just before it got picked up by the papers. 😂

In what way were you possibly unreasonable?

I have in the past vacated a table when a family get on because I don’t want to sit them to be helpful and let them sit together. But only because I could find somewhere else to sit that was suitable for my needs.

Bizarre woman!

let her precious boy who was about 5 sit in a seat and he was sitting on the floor

Well someone should let a small child sit down let’s not get back to that argument again….