About not moving on the train?

[TrainSitu]

I’ve recently had shoulder surgery but I am now out of a sling so I guess I don’t look injured. I’m sat at a table seat on the train to get back to my work area after visiting my dad.

I’ve got my backpack on the table and my big bag was put up on the top by a lovely man who offered to put it up. We get to the next station and it’s absolutely heaving and a mother with 3 kids gets on. Everyone files into seats and someone sits opposite me. She then approaches and asks if the other 2 seats are reserved. I said no and she could have them and sat the kids down. She then looks and me and say says “I’ve got 3 children who need a seat please can they have yours” I said no I’ve recently had shoulder surgery and still recovering so standing on a packed train would be too painful. She then continually said “ I have 3 kids though”

At this point I said “I’m not particularly bothered by the amount of kids you have but I will be staying in this seat as I need it too if you have any issues please go speak to the train conductor” The look she gave me could kill!

So AIBU for not moving? The original guy who put my bag in the overhead rack ended up telling her to leave me alone as she kept repeating about her 3 kids. I feel like a cow bag but a justified one!

NC for this so it can’t be linked to any previous threads.

Are you sure it was engine breaking and not dropping your clutch and coasting that was the problem?

Mum could sit the smallest one on her knee.
I grew up in the era of children stand for adults.

I would have told her To take a walk in more stronger terms (I'm not allowed to use *** words on here)

I’m seeing a lot lately about people expecting others to move on buses and trains so their kids can sit down…when did that become a thing?? If anything, kids move for adults surely?

you’re absolutely in the right

GoodChat · Today 09:21

Are you sure it was engine breaking and not dropping your clutch and coasting that was the problem?

No, the examiner explained it to me clearly and also said the he could tell I was a biker.

I’ve no idea why this is on this thread but…

you can fail your driving test for relying on engine braking, it doesn’t warn anyone behind you of your intentions and can go down as a dangerous fault

Surely it’s kids that get up for adults?

The trouble is with these kids, if they were allowed to take OP’s seat or in the past they’ve rushed to get a seat where an elderly, disabled etc person wanted to get it then it just cements it in their mind that “even though we’re children and could stand/share a seat etc we don’t have to do that, we need to claim our privilege”. And if their DM has told them to do this she’s being equally selfish but they’re only following her lead.

Turns them into selfish little shits.

The more they hear “give up your seat where needed” then they’ll do it more, be more considerate in this position etc.

Ahh it seems so obvious when you say it!

@GonnaGetGoingReturns absolutely! But in this case I think the mother is at fault the most! I would’ve said something like “at my age your kids could’ve been my grandkids, so I’ll remain seated thank you”.

YANBU she can fuck right off

When I learnt to drive (many years ago!) I was taught to engine brake changing down through the gears. Current thinking is brakes are cheaper to replace than clutches and gearboxes which makes a lot of sense so now I just use the brakes and engage the gear needed to accelerate away. Coasting is poor driving practice causing excessive wear on the clutch thrust bearing and leaves the driver open to a 'Driver not in complete control of the vehicle offense'

Why do people think their children are so precious that they should trump adults, and that we should just blindly go along with that? I don't get it.

WHenever I was in a situation like that I would let my DD sit on my lap and once she was too big to do that she would stand or I would stand and let her sit.

Not at all unreasonable, shoulder or not. If she felt that bad about her kids, and needed another seat, she herself could have stood and given the seat to the children knowing they were all safely seated.
I think that’s what I’d have done in her situation, not asked you to stand.
I liked your response though 😺

You're not being unreasonable at all. If she lives in a crowded place having three children in the first place was not her best thought.

Don't move under any circumstances, shoulder injury or not, however I WOULD have an issue with your backpack being on the table. It should go on the floor between your feet so there is room for each person to have 1/4 of the table space for drink, book or laptop etc.

@TrainSitu
First served, not serve. Per se, not per say.

How big are you imagining this backpack to be?

I'd go for a Kanken Mini. After all, she has a shoulder injury. You can fit quite a bit in one.

Aren't you? The rest of us are allowed to fucking swear as much as we buggering well like.

I had one of these today!

I'm in a leg brace and needed to be sitting in an aisle seat, with my right leg on the outside. I'd made a mistake with my booking and a lovely woman agreed to switch seats with me (they were basically the same but opposite sides of the carriage). A fam of four came on and tried to tell me I was in their reserved seats. Erm, no I'm not. Then the usual gobbing off. Daddy dearest looked a bit of a twat when I started pushing myself up on my crutches. I had zero intention of giving up my seat, they were welcome to the other three though.

To be clear, the woman was still on the train and it was absolutely her seat I was in. We'd looked at each others reservations.

When did you last hear about a child being injured because they were standing on public transport?

Yep, it rarely if ever happens. Kids are very accident prone and I see them getting minor knocks and falls all the time and they rarely end up with the same injuries as an older adult. And if they’re that tiny they can usually be carried by an adult whether the adult is standing or sitting .

I used to travel with small groups of children in a previous job and even on the risk assessments that wasn’t a major concern. I was travelling back to London from somewhere once and we got on the tube and two lovely adults offered two of the kids I was with their seats because they were flopping about the place in the aisle (being silly /having fun really) . I was quite surprised as didn’t know standing up for 7 year old was a thing. They quickly sat down and then promptly started jumping on and off the seats, I thanked the adults but said to the kids look please just stand and let the adults have their seats back since you’re not even using them properly!

Honestly a lot of kids quite enjoy standing up and if they are with siblings/friends can amuse themselves with the rocking of the train. I’m sure one of the ten year old boys wouldn’t even have minded standing for a while and then swapping seats. Most kids have so much energy, especially ones who play football.

I say it but I’m definitely guilty of doing it😂 my instructor would always tell me off - “your brake lights aren’t going to come on so how do they know you’re stopping!”

A far cry from the days when my grandparents used to transport a family of six in a classic Mini.