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Original poster

To be so angry with my 19 year old son

224 replies

Lovelycupofcoffee · 18/02/2023 23:47

So my son has announced today that he had his review at work and told them he’s looking for other jobs . They said they were happy to keep him employed full time but after this news he’s being let go . Surely (and in my employment experience) you get another job first . He was earning good money in this job . I know he wasn’t keen on working weekends but giving up a job that pays good money without another job to go to just seems like utter madness. I was so angry this morning I had to go out for a few hours .

OP posts:
Crumpetdisappointment · 20/02/2023 18:22

appalling behaviour from his current job!
i do hope he finds another job soon and learns to keep schtum, play the game.

my own dh gave notice on a job, a week he said,
they said, finish tomorrow!

bonzaitree · 20/02/2023 18:30

When he’s in a receptive mood why not speak to him about « playing the game » in work. Ie not telling them you’re job hunting. Not even hinting at it until you have signed your new contract and are handing your notice in.

just daft

CakeladyJ · 20/02/2023 18:33

My son had a similar attitude, he is 21 in June and seems to be coming out the other side of it all. I couldn’t help but comment which ultimately led to a lot of arguments and tension in the house. One day I simply decided to keep quiet and let him figure it out for himself. It took a while but after a couple of incidents which led to him not having a job and not being able to afford to go out he soon realised. I know how frustrated you must feel as I was the same.

sushiecookie · 20/02/2023 18:35

But it's his life.

dontgobaconmyheart · 20/02/2023 18:36

Frankly, I'd be wondering if that was the full story and whether he'd actually just not been kept on for other reasons but didn't want to tell you or get a bad reaction. In my working career I've not ever heard of a 'review' proceeding in the manner where an employee is told they had planned to keep them on but are not now because they've disclosed they've been looking at other jobs. Seems very odd and isn't proper process at all.

YANBU to be worried but what's the benefit to being angry, he is an adult and is job hunting. Hopefully he will find something and it will stick.

Watchamocauli · 20/02/2023 18:36

He is 19 give him a break. He will have learnt his lesson and be smart the next time what to say in a review meeting.

And looks like he was transparent about his heart not being in that work place. At least he can give 100% to job search.

CrinkleCutChips · 20/02/2023 18:38

I don’t think you’ve heard the full story. My two previous bosses knew for about three months that I was job hunting and they’d actually check in now and again to see how it was going. There was no question of sacking me just because I was looking. I think your son is omitting some facts here OP.

Ptemple · 20/02/2023 18:40

You live and learn. Nobody wants to bother training someone who isn't planning on staying. Better to recruit someone else who is interested in the job.

BetterFuture1985 · 20/02/2023 18:51

Lovelycupofcoffee · 18/02/2023 23:47

So my son has announced today that he had his review at work and told them he’s looking for other jobs . They said they were happy to keep him employed full time but after this news he’s being let go . Surely (and in my employment experience) you get another job first . He was earning good money in this job . I know he wasn’t keen on working weekends but giving up a job that pays good money without another job to go to just seems like utter madness. I was so angry this morning I had to go out for a few hours .

Daft but he's 19. Better he learns the negative consequences now rather than when he's older. He'll get another job easily enough in this economy.

Crimeismymiddlename · 20/02/2023 18:51

I completely get why an inexperienced 19 y/o would think it is a good idea to tell their job they are looking for a new job, however employers don’t fire employees for this. Was this his last probation review, could they have possibly just let him go and he is saving face. It’s not the worst thing in the world as we have all been fired at some point but he must feel awful.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/02/2023 18:55

Well, just a life lesson that this isn't how you conduct yourself professionally. No point being furious and storming out...

stayathomer · 20/02/2023 18:58

To all the people calling him silly etc- he’s 19. At 19 had you your ‘this is my path to the career of life’ head screwed on? Mistakes like this (if it does turn out to be a mistake, hopefully it will instead propel him into a job he’d prefer) are what make us

letthemalldoone · 20/02/2023 19:01

OMG he's 19 - they all have to learn!

I'd personally be directing my anger at the employer tbh!

My 19 year old got a p/t job last year (min wage) only to discover that if the till was short, it was docked from your wages!! I very much doubt it's legal to take deductions from a min wage employee... he was disgusted and looked for something else and within a couple of weeks, he had 2 job offers.

Don't worry@Lovelycupofcoffee - I'm sure he won't be jobless for long. Can't believe the way the job market is compared to back in my day, or even 5-10 years ago.

brilly · 20/02/2023 19:01

Done that probably because he knows you are back up for him financially

Dominoeffecter · 20/02/2023 19:04

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 00:05

Of course it's legal.
Anybody can be sacked for anything, if they haven't worked for the company for 2 years,

Show quote history

Bollocks they can

raguragu · 20/02/2023 19:09

Maybe the employer is investing time in training him up and to be told that he's not sticking around for long, made them think, he's not worth any more investment

Cant blame an employer for making a hat decision. Maybe it's a small family run business

Maybe he's crap anyhow

But he will easily pick up another job. As long as he wants one

Chubbymoo · 20/02/2023 19:12

My ex husband did this to me 2 weeks after I gave birth to our daughter 🤬, because he didn’t like a guy he was working with 🙄

Flamesbegin · 20/02/2023 19:35

I had an employee say the same to me once. She was flabbergasted when I said well
we can keep her on while we advertise her job but not indefinitely while she did substandard work after starting only 3 months ago. Lots of people said I was in the wrong but she was already struggling with the work and the idea of her just flouncing off when she was ready when I could be investing and training someone who actually wanted the job didn’t sit well with me!

Kennykenkencat · 20/02/2023 19:36

What sort of work is he doing?

I know I flitted between jobs and walked out of several, and did tell a manager I was looking for another and was immediately let go at around your ds’s age

They were all office based jobs and Dh wasn’t best pleased.

Turns out I have ADHD and office work is not for me.

I used to sit crying at my desk. I didn’t know why I was crying but I would sit there and the tears would stream down my face

I was so bored that I flirted with the idea of leaving Dh and jacking it all in and going to live on a beach somewhere hot.

I actually look back on my life and regret staying in jobs I hated and wish I had just gone with the beach idea.

Runnerduck34 · 20/02/2023 19:39

Your 19 year old was naive,perhaps too honest for his own good. He will learn.
But I'm astounded employer sacked him when they discovered he was looking for another job. I dont think they were reasonable at all!
I think you're overreacting, I wouldn't blame DS at all, its his employer that behaved badly imo.
Hopefully he will get another job soon and learn not to be quite so open and honest in future.

Echobelly · 20/02/2023 19:49

I think furious is a bit much - if your household's not dependent on his income (and it doesn't sound like it is) he's made an error and lesson has been learned that this is not something one discloses to employers. Better to learn that now than later!

VanGoghsDog · 20/02/2023 19:57

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/02/2023 00:00

But it’s not even remotely a big deal - he will get another job, the market is very much in favour of employees at the moment.

But yes - perspective is crucial especially with teenagers!

Im shocked that people aren’t more horrified he’s been sacked for stating he’s looking for another job. Pretty sure that isn’t entirely legal.

Show quote history

If he has under two years service vive they can let him go for pretty much any non discriminatory reason. A useful lesson I think.

Gemgem40 · 20/02/2023 20:13

Surely he’s not going to work the notice for these people?

Ptemple · 20/02/2023 20:24

Gemgem40 · 20/02/2023 20:13

Surely he’s not going to work the notice for these people?

Depends if he needs a reference I guess.

Ehhh1 · 20/02/2023 20:35

Plonker? Nice insult... He's young and learning, give him a break. I see the Karens are out in full force throughout this whole thread.