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Original poster

To be so angry with my 19 year old son

224 replies

Lovelycupofcoffee · 18/02/2023 23:47

So my son has announced today that he had his review at work and told them he’s looking for other jobs . They said they were happy to keep him employed full time but after this news he’s being let go . Surely (and in my employment experience) you get another job first . He was earning good money in this job . I know he wasn’t keen on working weekends but giving up a job that pays good money without another job to go to just seems like utter madness. I was so angry this morning I had to go out for a few hours .

OP posts:
SummerSazz · 19/02/2023 07:22

Are you sure he is telling the full truth here as seems a tad weird?

Did he actually receive a poor review with a threat of not being kept on and so just handed in his notice/let go there and then?

I know some employers are rubbish but the version of 'review was good, they would have kept me on FT' just doesn't quite ring true to me...:

SummerSazz · 19/02/2023 07:23

Just seen last 2 posters also had similar thoughts!

Original poster
Lovelycupofcoffee · 19/02/2023 07:24

I can only go with the story he’s telling me and I’m sure he will find another job soon .

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 19/02/2023 07:25

He should be able to discuss looking for other jobs with out getting sacked!! So clearly his employer is pretty crap. He's learnt a good life lesson, play your cards close to your chest. He's only 19, they all make mistakes

Alliwantistobe · 19/02/2023 07:34

How long has he been there? Is it a case they are letting him go or was his probation due to end or did he hand in his notice?

My DB actually had his yearly review earlier this month. He was honest with them and told them he had something else lined up and was just waiting for an offer to come througg. His boss was fine and respectful and nobody has been let go. DB will hand in his notice when the time is right.

FeetupTvon · 19/02/2023 07:41

He’s a teenager, he will learn from it.
Don’t be too harsh on him- he’s probably feeling silly enough already.

Emmamoo89 · 19/02/2023 07:42

Shouldn't get sacked for that. Ridiculous

Folklore9074 · 19/02/2023 07:42

Yeah, sounds annoying and a bit daft but he’s 19 and still got lots to learn. As you say’s he’ll find something else soon. As long as he’s not expecting money off you I’d not waste the energy being mad. His life etc.

luckylavender · 19/02/2023 07:43

This

BreviloquentBastard · 19/02/2023 07:44

Give him a break, he's 19. Do you really think being so furious with him that you need to get away from him for a while is going to help with his mental health? He probably feels awful or embarrassed enough as it is without his mum acting like she's just discovered he's the next Night Stalker. If he's actively looking for new work then he's learned an important lesson about keeping his cards to his chest in the workplace.

I'd echo a pp in telling you to get a grip, at 19 you're expecting your son to have one at all times, set a better example then.

Untitledsquatboulder · 19/02/2023 07:47

When I told my first employer that I was looking for other work.(I was 18) they asked me why (because I was concerned I'd be laid off at the end of the season) and then reassured me that they wanted me to stay on for my whole gap year. So I think yes he's been naive but also that they are not a great employer.

eurochick · 19/02/2023 07:50

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl there's no protection against unfair dismissal under two years of employment. You can be let go for any reason. The only exceptions are being sacked because of certain protected characteristics- maternity, disability.

CMZ2018 · 19/02/2023 07:52

Not the brightest lamp in the street

RedRiverShore3 · 19/02/2023 07:53

I would be annoyed because I would know I would be the one ending up subbing him if he didn't get another job

Pyewhacket · 19/02/2023 07:53

You learn from your mistakes but there’s plenty of work out there so he’ll be fine.

ILoveASpreadsheet · 19/02/2023 07:54

If our DS has done something so ridiculous then when DH and I discuss it the two phrases that make an appearance are
he’ll learn the hard way and
the stupidity of youth

they learn eventually.

relamped · 19/02/2023 08:01

eurochick · 19/02/2023 07:50

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl there's no protection against unfair dismissal under two years of employment. You can be let go for any reason. The only exceptions are being sacked because of certain protected characteristics- maternity, disability.

Well, all of the protected characteristics..

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl is right to point out that others are spreading misinformation when they say that you can be fired for any reason before 2 years service.

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 19/02/2023 08:07

My first thought was also that he’s telling porkies… better to say he was let go for looking for another job rather than he was fired because he was rubbish!

AnotherSpare · 19/02/2023 08:08

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 19/02/2023 06:47

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it quite normal to discuss applying for other jobs with your manager as you need them for a reference

I agree, yes. I'm truly surprised so many are horrified by this! I have often left a job before I have another confirmed, and if not, I have always discussed with my manager or employer what my plans are. Usually the jobs I apply for ask for a reference in advance. It's also part of the manager's responsibility to help with career development and, especially at a young age, it's natural this would involve moving elsewhere.
It's far more deceitful to stay in a job, underperforming because you're not enjoying it.
I think your son did the honest thing in saying that the job wasn't for him and he was looking to move on. That gave his employer either time to change things for him if they wanted to keep him or to be prepared to recruit a replacement for him. They were absolutely in the wrong to fire him! Although I suspect they actually didn't fire him, because you don't work a notice period if you've been fired!
Your son is 19, let him make his own choices.

Sunriseinwonderland · 19/02/2023 08:09

He'searnt a lesson from this. At least he's still only 19. I did this in my 30s.

WonderingWanda · 19/02/2023 08:11

Well they say that you learn from experience and he will have learnt from this. Don't you remember getting anything wrong when you were 19? I wouldn't be furious with him. Just support him in looking for a new job.

KTheGrey · 19/02/2023 08:11

Of course you are being unreasonable. Nobody knows these things in their first job. The importance of lying to employers about your enthusiasm for their tinpot outfits is not taught in school, it's bought by experience.

Dibbydoos · 19/02/2023 08:12

Was anyone else ever 19yo and made a mistake? Good for him to be honest, shame the employer didn't suss out why he wanted to leave and put that right.
Negative thinking which results in bad msnagement causes loads of good employees to leave work, support your son. There's a reason he didn't want to stay there.

relamped · 19/02/2023 08:13

@SueG60

To get rid of someone who's been there longer you need to either make them redundant (meaning you can't hire anyone else for the same role within a certain time period - totally impractical for most medium to large companies if not genuinely making redundancies) or you need to follow an official HR process like a performance improvement plan to show that the employee isn't up to doing the job and needs to be replaced.

Where on earth have you got your information from? You can be dismissed any time, from any job for conduct, capability, redundancy, a legal reason or "some other substantial reason".

However, if you have less than 2 years service you usually only have the right to go to employment tribunal for unfair dismissal if your dismissal was automatically unfair or discriminatory. This doesn't mean it's legal for employers to fire you for any reason before 2 years service.

Groutyonehereagain · 19/02/2023 08:24

We all learn from our own mistakes. Cut him some slack and step away from this. He must be allowed to sort this out himself. Don’t be too hard on him, we all make mistakes and that’s how we grow up.