Dh and I have been invited to a full day wedding of friends which we'd really love to go to. Problem is I'm ebf and ds will have only just turned 5 months old by then so I'm not sure how to manage a full day away from him. He will take a bottle but only VERY rarely and definitely prefers feeding from breast (he's better with wind etc when not feeding from bottle too as he has a slight tongue tie - feeding has been a challenge so im hesitant about messing with it). I also have a big oversupply so worried about the impact of not being able to feed him for a full day, I'm not sure how much of the day I'd have to miss pumping and as there's no accommodation at the venue (I've been there before) I'm not sure where I could do that other than a toilet cubicle which isn't ideal. I also find i don't get anywhere near as good a letdown when I pump compared to feeding so worried about mastitis.
When I got married we didn't have any children at our wedding. So I fully understand why people don't want babies at a wedding when they've paid for videographer etc and they're taking a seat at the table and space is precious. However we did make an exception for any breastfed babies as I had a number of friends bf at the time who wouldn't have felt able to come otherwise.
Would it be unreasonable to ask the couple if they'd allow a breastfed baby? It's not in a hotel where a grandparent could have baby nearby etc or I'd have arranged that and just nipped out to feed. If they decline (which is their choice - its their wedding) is my other option to decline the invite or what alternative would you suggest?
First time parent so just trying to plan ahead!
AIBU?
Breastfed babies at weddings?
Lavender14 · 17/02/2023 00:07
Am I being unreasonable?
395 votes. Final results.
POLLACynicalDad · 17/02/2023 00:12
Breast fed babies aren’t taking a space I don’t think that’s who they are thinking of when they say no kids. You just sit at the back and discreetly exit if they start crying. Ask but if it’s a problem they are clueless.
Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 00:25
You just sit at the back and discreetly exit if they start crying
Bit difficult to exit discreetly with a baby that’s already crying. 😬
OP I would ask and if it’s a no then don’t go. If it’s a yes try and feed the baby before the important quiet bits. Or during them!
ACynicalDad · 17/02/2023 00:12
Breast fed babies aren’t taking a space I don’t think that’s who they are thinking of when they say no kids. You just sit at the back and discreetly exit if they start crying. Ask but if it’s a problem they are clueless.
MavisMcMinty · 17/02/2023 00:50
I mentioned it because the OP said there was nowhere to take the baby to feed, and while that may be true of no public spaces to breastfeed in, there may be non-public areas the venue could let her use. Not because I think it should be hidden away!
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