To ask my 18 year old for board.

[GenderCriticalTrumpets]

He earns 8-900 pounds a month and I've suggested he gives me £80 a week. Would make up for the £60 I will lose from child benefit. He's at College and due to go to University in September he's saved around £2000 for this already.

He is absolutely and completely fucking livid about this situation. Things are really, really tough for us at the moment if that makes any difference.

Vote away, vipers.

[jannier]

@TanquerayTickles

Our Daughter is doing her A levels and has a good part time job earning a good wage, we also have an adult son who no longer lives at home so have been there before. Our rule is that when you're no longer in full time education and working full time then you pay board, not before. Before that point we are supporting them through their education.

He's an A level student, still in full time ed, at this stage I wouldn't be charging him board.

What would you do if it was ask him to pay or go without your own food? The op has said she is in dire need.

[KarmaStar]

Eighty a month is fair.If he doesn't want to pay try not buying his food and turn the heating off in his bedroom and give him a bill for his share of fuel bills etc he will soon see which he would rather pay.I would never have left my mum to struggle.

[MrsSkylerWhite]

Dotcheck

But it is different- I’m assuming your son gets maintenance loan? The purpose of which is to well, maintain himself? Of course he should pay rent in those circumstances.
OPs child is saving for uni, and OP is still getting child benefit“

He qualifies for the minimum maintenance loan and works part time. Doesn’t net as much as OP’s son - who will also presumably receive maintenance grant - and wants to contribute. As should OP’s son.

[Needmorelego]

The youngest age a person can start working is 13. If your 13 year old got a paper round would you then expect a portion of the wage to be given as "board". No - you wouldn't (at least I bloody hope not). The money should be for 'extras' the child wants not basics a parent should provide.
Parents should be providing food, clothes, toiletries, school equipment etc. That's what parents are for.
Teens should only be expected to fund things that aren't actually needed but they want - ie they don't 'need' make up, donuts on the way home from school everyday, prime drinks, yet another hoodie when they already have 6.....
The OPs son is either 17 or 18 (she seems confused about his age) but even if he has turned 18 he is in full time education doing A-Levels which means she is still recieving Child Benefit so he isn't yet a "fully grown independent adult" - he is still a "school kid" (even though he is at a college according to the OP - 6th Form/FE College are essentially the same thing 🙄)
Charging an 18 year old 'board' should not be done when they are still at school.

[bringincrazyback]

@Sep200024

This thread has turned quite nasty.

Being a mother isn’t a transaction 😢

FFS. No one said it was.

[heyyouitsme]

Parents only charged us (me and my siblings) if we were out of education and working. As long as we were in full time education, no charge. I had a Saturday job and while I didn’t pay bills once I had one I was expected to buy my own clothes, anything extra apart from basics.

I left my parents home before I started full time employment. My dh supported me for most of my degree fortunately. My siblings did pay towards the household when they left education and gained full time jobs.

[RaquelD]

Sorry no , he is in the right , also it’s not “ your child benefit “ it’s more for him , that’s why you get it or got it .

Now you are the adult mother you need to be responsible for your rent and responsibilities.

if you’re not happy let him live alone , or even himself to go and find his own space.

Its none of our Children’s fault what we loose on benefits etc… it’s our responsibility! They didn’t come to the world because they wanted 2 right ?

Sort yourself out , don’t rely on your own kids ! I will make sure I can always provide for my family, they all have savings accounts to use their money when they leave.

Until then unless I don’t want them living with me anymore or they decide to go , it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to keep up with my responsibilities.

[Ourlittletalks]

I’m shocked reading some of these replies. He’s a grown adult and earning close to 1k a month, of course he should be paying board. £80 a month is nothing! Anyone working and bringing home a wage should be contributing to the household, whether they’re 16,17,18 or older. He can still save plenty for uni.

when I was his age, we were given the option of either buying our own food and paying 1 bill a month each or contributing €30 a week to the household, I chose to pay the Wi-Fi bill (€50 per month) and paid for my own food.

[RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella]

@EscapeRoomToTheSun

80 a month is nothing. Tell him he can buy his own food otherwise and let him see how that works out!

The OP says 80 a week, not month though

[RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella]

@Ourlittletalks

I’m shocked reading some of these replies. He’s a grown adult and earning close to 1k a month, of course he should be paying board. £80 a month is nothing! Anyone working and bringing home a wage should be contributing to the household, whether they’re 16,17,18 or older. He can still save plenty for uni.

when I was his age, we were given the option of either buying our own food and paying 1 bill a month each or contributing €30 a week to the household, I chose to pay the Wi-Fi bill (€50 per month) and paid for my own food.

It says £80 a week

[Triflenot]

OP corrected it, she meant £80 per month

[RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella]

Oops ignore me, didn't see the update amending, it is 80 quid a month!
As you all were.... sidles back out of thread looking for more caffeine

[Ourlittletalks]

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella

It says £80 a week

OP added a comment stating she meant £80 a month.

[CrinkleCutChips]

We charge 20 year old DS £250 a month board and he kicks off every month and tries to make me feel bad for requesting it! I did a budget with him yesterday and after all his bills which includes: rent/food/petrol/mobile/loan/food/petrol/ps5 live subscription/phone contract/miscellaneous, he has £600 a month left to spend however he chooses. I’d say that’s more than enough so I don’t feel bad.

[CrinkleCutChips]

@GenderCriticalTrumpets You don’t need validation from people on here by the way. I think you’re doing the right thing (contradicting myself there) As you’re paying for his phone it isn’t really £80 he’s paying anyway as you’re saving him that money. If he’s annoyed then that’s on him.

[Needmorelego]

People are still missing the point that the OP wanted her son to pay £80 to make up for the 'loss' of Child Benefit. But she is still recieving it because he is still in full time education doing his A-Levels. It doesn't stop on the day he turns 18 but at the end of the academic year.
If she wants him to be financially independent because he is 18 she needs to stop receiving Child Benefit.

[Sep200024]

Yeah, I like the way he has to be ‘financially independent’, but she doesn’t!!

[ssd]

Some parents on mn seem to see their kids as another way of making money

[KazA66]

Exactly the same situation, my son is in his 4th year at university, I asked him for £80 a month, he reacted like I'd asked him for a kidney.. I'm a lone parent, I don't get any tax credits, work 25 hours due to chronic pain condition so needed the help. His sister is at college and pays £80 with no hesitation at all. They have no idea!

[IrritableCowSyndrome]

You've made the Daily Mail

mol.im/a/11774915

[giraffesaregreat]

If your son is still in full-time education you will still be receiving child benefit so I don't think you should expect a contribution unless you genuinely can't afford not to.

I would encourage him to save as much as possible for university instead. Or take the £80/month and save it for him for university costs.

If you are really struggling then it is different.

He sounds like a hard-working young man who is doing well, and it doesn't seem worth arguing over £80/month. Based on my own teenagers, the child benefit doesn't cover a month's food for an 18-year-old, so you should end up better off when he goes to university, even with the loss of child benefit.

[Needmorelego]

@KazA66 university is very different to being in 6th Form College though. Which is where the OPs son is doing his A-Levels.

[WeAreBorg]

@IrritableCowSyndrome

You've made the Daily Mail

mol.im/a/11774915

Hahaha I’m delighted that all the Daily Mail readers disagree with those of us who backed up her son. I feel validated and spiritually cleansed 😂

[Sep200024]

@WeAreBorg

Hahaha I’m delighted that all the Daily Mail readers disagree with those of us who backed up her son. I feel validated and spiritually cleansed 😂

Pretty much proves the point, yes!

[ssd]

Typical its in the dailymail

Aren't their typical readers sitting in houses with loads of equity , super annual pensions and savings in the bank moaning about how they never had it easy when they left education with jobs for life galore and houses costing £650?
And saying the young people today dont know what hardship is...