To ask my 18 year old for board.

[GenderCriticalTrumpets]

He earns 8-900 pounds a month and I've suggested he gives me £80 a week. Would make up for the £60 I will lose from child benefit. He's at College and due to go to University in September he's saved around £2000 for this already.

He is absolutely and completely fucking livid about this situation. Things are really, really tough for us at the moment if that makes any difference.

Vote away, vipers.

[StanFransDisco]

@GenderCriticalTrumpets no you're not unpleasant because you've asked him for board but because of the tone of your thread whenever you update it. People are pissing or frothing. Your son is fucking livid. Anyone that disagrees with you is your son in disguise. I've no idea why you've posted in AIBU as we're all wrong unless we completely agree with you. You disingenuously posted he was 18 in the hope that the majority of mn would back you up, and if you read the responses most think he's in full time employment. Which he isn't. He's doing his a levels for gods sake.

[Itisbetter]

@GenderCriticalTrumpets I'm unpleasant because I've asked for board? Bonkers. but you haven’t “asked” you “told” because you treat him like a child, so why is he paying his way like an adult?

[2ndTimeRound90]

My parents requested board off each of us once we had left school and were in a consistent job. So for all of us that was when we returned from uni as during our degrees my siblings and I just had summer jobs and we didn't earn enough in any of our school part time jobs before uni - that was basically pocket money. They asked for £100 per month. I found that completely reasonable, but don't think I would have if I was still at school.

[Timesawastin]

@NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks

It wouldn’t even occur to me to charge him TBH

How nice for you. OP is skint.

[Lostinalibrary]

@Timesawastin

How nice for you. OP is skint.

No she’s not. Read through the thread. She missed out the fact he’s still in compulsory education, he’s still a minor, he’s still getting child benefit and she is able to support him fully in Jan.

I had a parent just like this. Absolutely hard work.

[GenderCriticalTrumpets]

The assumptions in this thread are absolutely fucking mind boggling. @Lostinalibrary it isn't January yet is it? So things are dire (and I haven't even gone into how dire) and people like you are projecting your experiences of shite parents onto me. I am fucking ace at being a parent.

I have supported my Son through an awful lot of shit. Shit that has taken its toll on our whole families mental health, shit that he might not have lived through without my help and support.

I wont be commenting again. Thanks to anyone who offered measured opinion and wasn't a judgemental, holier than thou, projecting, smunt.

[GenderCriticalTrumpets]

@Genie321 I would like to genuinely and wholeheartedly invite you to go fuck yourself.

[Sep200024]

Oh.

[Genie321]

Probably what your son is saying to you.

At least my kids will know I would never ask them to pay me for a benefit I might be losing because they are studying and working at the same time for uni, whilst their mother sits there giving their own child evil looks, and comes on to a public forum, to moan about HER SON eating pizza and not offering her a slice.

I wish your son all the luck in the world.

[Itisbetter]

I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just ask him to help you?

[Chocolateonsticks]

@Abba123

Welcome to the real world little boy.

Oh no, actually in the real world you’d be sleeping rough or paying £200 per week.

God why use such vicious language? No need to say little boy just because he's eighteen is there. Old hag would be considered rude. He never asked his mum to post about him on here🤔

[TanquerayTickles]

Our Daughter is doing her A levels and has a good part time job earning a good wage, we also have an adult son who no longer lives at home so have been there before. Our rule is that when you're no longer in full time education and working full time then you pay board, not before. Before that point we are supporting them through their education.

He's an A level student, still in full time ed, at this stage I wouldn't be charging him board.

[Sloelydoesit]

If he's living with you when he goes to uni and is earning then yes - charge him board. Much cheaper for him than living elsewhere!
I was independent from when I went to Uni and have been ever since. Much prefer it

[Airplant]

£80 pee month he has it cushy. Dam right he should be paying.

He is 18 he's an adult welcome to the real world, we all pay and do things we don't like it's called life.

As for those saying the OP is wrong and should not charge him, you are the reason we have so many pathetic pampered adults coming into the world and workplace. Besides most could not even be arsed to read the OP's correction of pm not PW, 🙄

Fact most students at uni will be pissing all their savings up on the wall or spending it on recreational drugs and takeaways at the weekend, I say this as some one who works for a uni and we all know exactly what goes on. Sorry most parents your in denial if you say yours don't.

So OP go for it TBH your under charging him.

[Newnamenewme23]

@Airplant

£80 pee month he has it cushy. Dam right he should be paying.

He is 18 he's an adult welcome to the real world, we all pay and do things we don't like it's called life.

As for those saying the OP is wrong and should not charge him, you are the reason we have so many pathetic pampered adults coming into the world and workplace. Besides most could not even be arsed to read the OP's correction of pm not PW, 🙄

Fact most students at uni will be pissing all their savings up on the wall or spending it on recreational drugs and takeaways at the weekend, I say this as some one who works for a uni and we all know exactly what goes on. Sorry most parents your in denial if you say yours don't.

So OP go for it TBH your under charging him.

He is not at Uni. He is still doing his a levels.

[Georgieporgie29]

God there’s some nasty people on this thread. Are people so unable to have empathy and see things from a different perspective? The op is clearly struggling for money and looking at the options and some people are just being horrible.

[LuckySantangelo35]

He sounds very selfish

[FacingTheChallenge]

I would never charge mine if I didn’t need the cash. Culturally it would be very strange for our family to charge kids who are studying for A Levels etc. I am impressed he has a job; many kids that age do not. He sounds responsible to me.

You can learn the value of money without contributing. I didn’t have a job at that age. My parents supported me. I graduated and immediately worked and lived independently and didn’t need a penny from that day on and managed my money well. I never lived at home again.

OP if you are struggling with bills and paying for food etc, you absolutely need to ask your son for cash and he should contribute. If not, I feel like this is just to prove a point for many and not very supportive to kids who have enough on their plate with their studies. Esp as exam time is looming.

[Airplant]

@Newnamenewme23
He's got Ng to Uni in September and saved up £2000 already. How about read the OP if your going to quote me 🙄

What do you think he's going to spend what he's saved on, you think he does not want to give his mum £80 pm just to pay for his course. 🤣

[Stomacharmeleon]

I have always charged my sons when they are working. I think it's useful and shows them that life is not on tap care of me.
I think they should want to. It's their home as well and it shows they can think beyond their bubble. There is so much infantilising on here. I want them to be able to manage when they leave. To know what life is really like.
They pay for their phones and board.

[FacingTheChallenge]

@GenderCriticalTrumpets

@Genie321 I would like to genuinely and wholeheartedly invite you to go fuck yourself.

You sound really rather unpleasant. Is this how you communicate with your son too?

Poor boy. He is working hard, and 18 is so young. Instead of being proud of him, you are slagging him off online.

The last few months before my kids left home were really special to me. I used them to show unconditional love, nurture them, support them and have some fun times before they left. I would advise you not to waste the renaming time in hostility. He sounds great.

[FacingTheChallenge]

@GenderCriticalTrumpets

The assumptions in this thread are absolutely fucking mind boggling. @Lostinalibrary it isn't January yet is it? So things are dire (and I haven't even gone into how dire) and people like you are projecting your experiences of shite parents onto me. I am fucking ace at being a parent.

I have supported my Son through an awful lot of shit. Shit that has taken its toll on our whole families mental health, shit that he might not have lived through without my help and support.

I wont be commenting again. Thanks to anyone who offered measured opinion and wasn't a judgemental, holier than thou, projecting, smunt.

‘I have supported my Son through an awful lot of shit. Shit that has taken its toll on our whole families mental health, shit that he might not have lived through without my help and support.‘

Otherwise known as being a mother.

[Sep200024]

This thread has turned quite nasty.

Being a mother isn’t a transaction 😢

[jannier]

@Georgieporgie29

God there’s some nasty people on this thread. Are people so unable to have empathy and see things from a different perspective? The op is clearly struggling for money and looking at the options and some people are just being horrible.

This...