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To ask my 18 year old for board.

322 replies

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 16/02/2023 20:18

He earns 8-900 pounds a month and I've suggested he gives me £80 a week. Would make up for the £60 I will lose from child benefit. He's at College and due to go to University in September he's saved around £2000 for this already.

He is absolutely and completely fucking livid about this situation. Things are really, really tough for us at the moment if that makes any difference.

Vote away, vipers.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

ssd · 16/02/2023 20:20

He's done well to save but he knows he'll need it for uni.
Its not his fault you lose benefits you came to rely on.

Dont punish him for it.

fairgame84 · 16/02/2023 20:21

He's earning a decent wage so paying board is the right thing to do.
Me and DB both had to pay £40 per week back in 2000/2001. DM said if we didn't like it we could move out and see how we liked paying rent and bills. We paid the board.

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 16/02/2023 20:21

80 a month!!! Not a week.

OP posts:
NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 16/02/2023 20:23

It wouldn’t even occur to me to charge him TBH

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 16/02/2023 20:24

A month is fine. 80 weekly too much. He needs to get a grip 🙄

NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 16/02/2023 20:24

Won’t he have to increase his student loan if you take some of his wages?

StanFransDisco · 16/02/2023 20:24


Abba123 · 16/02/2023 20:25

Welcome to the real world little boy.

Oh no, actually in the real world you’d be sleeping rough or paying £200 per week.

PonyPatter44 · 16/02/2023 20:25

He has very few other outgoings. £80 / month will not put him in the poorhouse or damage his uni savings, but it might help him to understand that life costs money.

TidyDancer · 16/02/2023 20:25

It's not ideal because it would be good if he could save the majority towards uni but the fact is he's an adult and he's earning a wage and the family is struggling. It's not as if you're asking him for a massive amount. I think it's far enough if you're in a difficult position.

TidyDancer · 16/02/2023 20:25

*fair enough

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 16/02/2023 20:25

Dunno @NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks ? Would it not increase his loan if he earned less?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 16/02/2023 20:26

Things are really, really tough for us at the moment if that makes any difference.

In this case, no. Not unreasonable. If you weren't experiencing financial hardship, I'd be inclined to let him save his all his earnings for uni (it sounds like he is a good saver and this is a quality to be encouraged).

Could you afford just to ask for £60.00 to cover the loss from CB rather than £80.00?

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, given your circumstances, either way.

Newnamenewme23 · 16/02/2023 20:26

How have you lost child benefit if he’s still at college?

presumably he’s working part time around college?

I think you are being unfair yes. He’s saving for uni, not pissing it away. The more he saves the less you’ll have to contribute.

he will need that money more than you do at uni.

BridieConvert · 16/02/2023 20:26

I earned about £1000 a month when I was 17, my mum charged me £300!
He's getting a good deal here I reckon.

Languagelanguage · 16/02/2023 20:27

If he's in school saving for uni then I don't think this really on, sorry. You've got a good child and I'm not sure it's worth spoiling your relationship with him as he'll know you managed before. Unless you're struggling to buy essentials in which case be honest that circumstances are very exceptional.

neighboursmustliveon · 16/02/2023 20:28

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 16/02/2023 20:21

80 a month!!! Not a week.

I was going to say £80 a week is too much but £80 a month isn't too bad.

If you didn't need it then I wouldn't but if money is really that tight then it isn't unreasonable.

fUNNYfACE36 · 16/02/2023 20:31

Surely you are still getting child benefit whilst he is at fulltime college? So you should absolutely not be charging him now whilst he is in not in receipt of any funding for his living expenses. Whe he gets his student loan it's a different matter

thirstyformore · 16/02/2023 20:37

I don't understand people who don't expect working adults to contribute to their own living costs. Why on earth not? How many adults have £900 a month to spend on themselves? I don't, and I earn a very decent salary!!

If he is genuinely saving money for living costs for uni then if you can afford it you might want to let him live rent free to help with the savings. If he's out every night and buying designer trainers I'd definitely be charging rent.

soboredtonight · 16/02/2023 20:38

£20 a week is more than fair.

Zanatdy · 16/02/2023 20:41

£80 a month is perfectly reasonable. I’d be annoyed that he’s livid. Does he know how much it costs to run a home, food shops? It’s such a minimal contribution

soboredtonight · 16/02/2023 20:42

I used to get £25 for my Saturday job and I always bought my mum and dad chocolate or wine and sweets for my little sister.

megacat · 16/02/2023 20:45

I charge mine £50 a month and he is more than happy to pay. In fact he offered more as he knows I need the money and understands how much of my wage goes on household costs (all of it). I think £50 is fair as I want him to save for a car etc or just be frivolous as he's 18 and should be able to enjoy life before reality hits.
People who say it wouldn't occur to them to charge adult children board have clearly never been at a till and had to put things back because they don't have enough money.

gettingalifttothestation · 16/02/2023 20:48

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 16/02/2023 20:25

Dunno @NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks ? Would it not increase his loan if he earned less?

Student loans are calculated on parents income and not the students income. If you really need the money then charge him it's a part of life and he should understand

JMSA · 16/02/2023 20:50

Ooft, that's £360 a month. I charge my 21 year old £200 per month, and she works full-time. Most of that goes on Council Tax, seeing as I've lost my single person discount.

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