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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
IsItBedtimeYetNope · 14/02/2023 15:06

I'd just murmur "I'm so embarrassed for you" in her direction if she gets like that again, and try to avoid her as much as possible.

BitchImTheSecretIngredient · 14/02/2023 15:07

Roll my eyes and tell her to get a life

TibetanTerrah · 14/02/2023 15:07

I'd have laughed and offered it to her Grin

YesitsBess · 14/02/2023 15:07

Flick peas at her during meal times. Constantly.

Train toddler to do same.

There is no engagement with people like this so I'm afraid it's pea war. 😎

HermioneWeasley · 14/02/2023 15:08

She sounds bonkers

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:08

my DH keeps saying I shouldn’t be upset and he’s getting angry that I’m letting a stranger spoil our holiday.

OP posts:
Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:10

We are of colour so I think it could be a hint of racism in her tone or maybe she’s just crazy. I just feel like staying in our room, we stick out as not many people of colour.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 14/02/2023 15:10

Complain to the management. They will have a word with her. She sounds completely bonkers. But next time I would see her I would fill my plate to the brim. And ask her would she like your leftovers

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:10

Thank you everyone for the support x

OP posts:
Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

OP posts:
Twawmyarse2 · 14/02/2023 15:13

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:08

my DH keeps saying I shouldn’t be upset and he’s getting angry that I’m letting a stranger spoil our holiday.

Well, he right in a way.

She sounds absolutely batshit crazy so just you just have to laugh really - maybe she has mental issues?

Enjoy the rest of your holiday and try to avoid the crazy lady!

donttellmehesalive · 14/02/2023 15:13

I was just wondering whether your toddler had dropped any food on the floor. Not that it excuses her rude behaviour but some people don't like that.

NameChangeFor2023 · 14/02/2023 15:13

YesitsBess · 14/02/2023 15:07

Flick peas at her during meal times. Constantly.

Train toddler to do same.

There is no engagement with people like this so I'm afraid it's pea war. 😎

I like you.

TibetanTerrah · 14/02/2023 15:13

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

Well no, as It wasn't even you who left food, it was your DH!

tillyoumakeit · 14/02/2023 15:14

She sounds totally unhinged!!

Choconut · 14/02/2023 15:15

Don't let her win, don't let her spoil your holiday. Just remember you can't argue with stupid, she's probably drunk and looking for a fight or something. Just carry on as you are, everyone is going to think she's got a screw loose.

Ok just seen that your not white, unfortunately it does sound like she is racist, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Complain to the management if it continues because that is not acceptable at all.

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 15:19

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:11

Do I need to feel embarrassed? Would you have left it as my DH is saying or would you have asked her what was wrong like I did?

You should not feel embarrassed. Yes you should move on. You are giving her headspace which is spoiling your holiday

But I would definitely laugh at her every time you see her just so she knows she hasn't got to you

She is either a nutter, a racist or has just had a row with her husband who has just told her he's about to leave her noone knows what's going on in others lives.

Dont let her in to your head

EyesOnThePies · 14/02/2023 15:20

You did nothing wrong.

Hold your head high, smile and say good evening / good day in the language of the country you are in if you encounter her.

That will take the wind out of her sails, and you will feel good because the view from the moral high ground is better.

Relax and enjoy your holiday.

But if she does up the ante, speak to your holiday rep or the hotel management. You could be disingenuous: “For the second Ds running this woman is pointing at us and talking about us but we don’t understand what she is saying. Could you ask for us, and translate “

She might be being full on racist and have made up the food waste story.

YesitsBess · 14/02/2023 15:21

NameChangeFor2023 · 14/02/2023 15:13

I like you.

If in doubt. Go weird 😃

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:22

Thank you everyone so much x

going to dinner soon. Feel a little butterflies in my tummy lol!

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 14/02/2023 15:23

just ignore her, why are you giving her any head space?

ClimbingRoseBush · 14/02/2023 15:23

She’s either racist or unstable. Ask to be sat well away from her when you go into the restaurant and if she speaks to you again complain to management.

Headabovetheparakeet · 14/02/2023 15:24

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:10

We are of colour so I think it could be a hint of racism in her tone or maybe she’s just crazy. I just feel like staying in our room, we stick out as not many people of colour.

I was really confused by this and assumed there must be more to it and here it is - she's probably just a racist.

Do you know what country she is from?

Hesma · 14/02/2023 15:26

Don’t let the bitch get you down… flick peas and leave platefuls🤣

Seriously though, don’t let it spoil your holiday. If she kicks off again make a complaint.

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:26

Headabovetheparakeet · 14/02/2023 15:24

I was really confused by this and assumed there must be more to it and here it is - she's probably just a racist.

Do you know what country she is from?

I’m not sure tbh. Sounded European definitely but I’m so bad with figuring out accents!

OP posts:
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