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Original poster

Friendship ultimatum over Harry Potter

275 replies

BackToHogwarts · 14/02/2023 14:42

I want to start by saying that I suffer from anxiety after death of a parent and a MC so don't watch news, read newspapers, am not on social media other than Marketplace etc. This was an order from my counsellor at the time as any article about death, illness, nuclear war doomsday etc would send me into a tailspin so my general knowledge of what's going on in the world is limited at best.

Anyway 6 years ago I met a friend of mine at a gaming convention meet up. We bonded over our love for anime, games and all things nerdy and struck up a friendship.

He's a very gifted artist and when he moved further away to pursue this we still kept in touch. He told me he was saving for top surgery so I promoted his shop to everyone I knew to try and help. He has since achieved this and is much happier in himself. I had 2 DCs over the years so my gaming has gone down to maybe 2h after bedtime if I'm not too tired and is something I enjoy very much and is my happy place. Despite this we still played together when we could and debated and recommended games and shows to one another etc.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I mentioned I'm eager to try the new Hogwarts Legacy game as Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood and I would love to go back to Hogwarts, when his entire tone changed.

Suddenly I got called a racist, antisemitic neo-nazi terf (?) who he will never talk to again if I so much as try to play that game. .........WTAF? I thought he was joking at first as we used to talk about Harry Potter but he said that was before he knew better and has since gotten rid of the books and movies and I should do the same if I want to stay his friend. I asked is he seriously going to end our friendship over a game and he said "Are YOU?"

I spent a few days in total shock then yesterday got a message from him which was a screen shot of a Facebook post containing a major game spoiler and the words "if you have a problem with this the block button is right there".

I told my DH about this and he explained the problem the trans community have with JK Rowling.

I am still reeling from this and don't know what to do. On one hand I'm angry as it's my life, my choice and it don't make me a horrible person. On the other hand I feel hurt that he would end our friendship if I don't do exactly as he says and has deliberately spoiled the game. Since when are friendships conditional?

As we are friends on PS he can see what I'm playing.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 14/02/2023 14:42

He sounds absolutely vile. Block him and move on.

RosaBonheur · 14/02/2023 14:44

Cut this toxic person out of your life and move on.

Nobody needs friends like that.

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/02/2023 14:44

Find a new friend who isn't such a monumental twat. He's swallowed a pile of nonsense about JKR and is now trying to coerce you into behaving in the way HE wants you to.

You don't need that in your life.

Wolfiefan · 14/02/2023 14:44

Sounds unhinged. It’s your life. Play the games you enjoy.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 14/02/2023 14:45

This reply has been deleted

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Wellitjustgetsworse · 14/02/2023 14:45

The games amazing! Enjoy it, he sounds nuts

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 14/02/2023 14:45

In a healthy debate I'd ask him to actually pinpoint what JKR has said wrong.

But he sounds way way too far down the rabbit hole to even have a simple discussion about this.

I'd block him.

Slobberchops1 · 14/02/2023 14:45

Nothing wrong with JK Rowling or Harry Potter . Block him

aSofaNearYou · 14/02/2023 14:45

Yep, he's a twat. Just let the friendship go.

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 14:46

He sounds awful. Tell him to fuck off. Who does he think he is? You can play/watch what you want. It's none of his business.
The whole JK Rowling thing I don't know in full depth and I don't the news anymore either but that's besides the point. He can't control what you do or don't do.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 14/02/2023 14:46

And tell your husband the same.

Howdya · 14/02/2023 14:46

I can promise you you'll have more fun with the game than him. Block and move on.

Sage396 · 14/02/2023 14:46

Sounds like an exhausting person and someone you're better off without! I'm LOVING Hogwarts Legacy, it's a fantastic game!

2crossedout1 · 14/02/2023 14:47

He is totally out of order to blackmail you like this.

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Kate8990 · 14/02/2023 14:48

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Are you kidding??

NextPrimeMinister · 14/02/2023 14:48

Block and move on. Sending a spoiler? How immature/mean-spirited.

RosaBonheur · 14/02/2023 14:48

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

It's not about the game. It's about the fact that this person is a vile, controlling, emotional blackmailer.

pointythings · 14/02/2023 14:48

I have no time for JKR's views on the trans issue, but your friend is nuts. Block, forget, play the game.

PonyPatter44 · 14/02/2023 14:48

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

If you put a load of nonsense that you dont even understand fully before friendship, you are also a terrible friend. Either way, the OP is better off without this dribbler in her life!

Fladdermus · 14/02/2023 14:48

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

So does that make him a terrible friend then?

ArcaneWireless · 14/02/2023 14:49

This friend is not a friend.

They also have problems understanding the written word. JKR has done nothing wrong.

So maybe start them off with some words that they can get the hang of.

Like fuck and off.

StephanieSuperpowers · 14/02/2023 14:49

So your friend has certain beliefs. That's fine for them. However, they can't impose them on you like that. Someone who can only be friends with someone who believes the same thing as them isn't really a friend, in my opinion. I am not religious but I have religious friends. We accept that we don't share the same opinions on anything. If your friendship isn't over because of this, what will be the next issue that they will try to compel belief in?

Pootles34 · 14/02/2023 14:49

Your friend is being ridiculous. Adults can have opposing political views and still stay friends! My close family member has swallowed all the stuff about JK Rowling, but doesn't ram it down my throat - in fact I'm about to inherit her lego hogwarts!

I wouldn't be interested in remaining friends with this person.

autienotnaughty · 14/02/2023 14:49

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Yes that's why he's the issue.