Friendship ultimatum over Harry Potter

[BackToHogwarts]

I want to start by saying that I suffer from anxiety after death of a parent and a MC so don't watch news, read newspapers, am not on social media other than Marketplace etc. This was an order from my counsellor at the time as any article about death, illness, nuclear war doomsday etc would send me into a tailspin so my general knowledge of what's going on in the world is limited at best.

Anyway 6 years ago I met a friend of mine at a gaming convention meet up. We bonded over our love for anime, games and all things nerdy and struck up a friendship.

He's a very gifted artist and when he moved further away to pursue this we still kept in touch. He told me he was saving for top surgery so I promoted his shop to everyone I knew to try and help. He has since achieved this and is much happier in himself. I had 2 DCs over the years so my gaming has gone down to maybe 2h after bedtime if I'm not too tired and is something I enjoy very much and is my happy place. Despite this we still played together when we could and debated and recommended games and shows to one another etc.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I mentioned I'm eager to try the new Hogwarts Legacy game as Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood and I would love to go back to Hogwarts, when his entire tone changed.

Suddenly I got called a racist, antisemitic neo-nazi terf (?) who he will never talk to again if I so much as try to play that game. .........WTAF? I thought he was joking at first as we used to talk about Harry Potter but he said that was before he knew better and has since gotten rid of the books and movies and I should do the same if I want to stay his friend. I asked is he seriously going to end our friendship over a game and he said "Are YOU?"

I spent a few days in total shock then yesterday got a message from him which was a screen shot of a Facebook post containing a major game spoiler and the words "if you have a problem with this the block button is right there".

I told my DH about this and he explained the problem the trans community have with JK Rowling.

I am still reeling from this and don't know what to do. On one hand I'm angry as it's my life, my choice and it don't make me a horrible person. On the other hand I feel hurt that he would end our friendship if I don't do exactly as he says and has deliberately spoiled the game. Since when are friendships conditional?

As we are friends on PS he can see what I'm playing.

Any advice?

Fuck him he's obviously a weirdo

Suddenly I got called a racist, antisemitic neo-nazi terf

This is completely unacceptable and I wouldn't be friends with someone who spoke to me like that over this issue. Regardless of your views on J.K. Rowling, it's batshit to say that anyone who plays that game is a nazi. Especially since it sounds like from your conversation it would have become obvious you were not aware of this issue.

He’s not your friend, he’s a controlling misogynist. Block and move on

Totally agree. Sorry your friend turned out to be deeply unpleasant. Not your loss

This isn’t a friend OP. Sorry you’ve had such a nasty shock, sounds like the friendship is over.

LOL

More like NoBrain.

If this is real you must have had your head in a cave.

Maybe think a little about the issues affecting your friends instead of being so self centred.

This person is not a good friend. JKR is not transphobic - she wants to protect women’s only spaces where needed, that is all. The numbnut idiocy and aggression of your friend’s stance here tells you all you need to know: remove this toxic person from your life.

You've been through a lot and do not need this control and bullying.

Unfriend and block.

This is JKR's essay. Many of those calling her transphobic haven't read it - www.jkrowling.com/opinions/j-k-rowling-writes-about-her-reasons-for-speaking-out-on-sex-and-gender-issues/

Block and ignore him.

Sounds like he's jumped on the anti-Rowling bandwagon. If he doesn't want to play it because it goes against his principles then fine, but he doesn't get to tell you not to play it because it's against his principles.

FWIW JKR had nothing to do with the game development and there is even a character who is a transwoman so I think you can enjoy it even if you disagree with JKR's views.

• assuming your friend is trans its understandable they may be sensitive to or triggered by this issue at the moment
• if you're friends hopefully you can be senstive to that
• they should not have kicked off as abruptly as that - totally unacceptable. If you can get past this hopefully you can explain that and they'll apologise
• If you personally think you can separate author and content and still want to play the game, I'd consider at least not putting their nose out of joint. Set up a new PSN account (quick and easy) so they can't see you're playing, and don't talk about it with them at all.

He sounds vile. I wouldn't want someone like this in my life. They are no friend. I would block him on everything and think of it as a lucky escape

Which is exactly what OP's friend is doing. Oh, that and thinking they have the right to dictate OP's choices.

Regardless of what you decide to do about the game, this 'friend' has shown their true colours.

Clearly they don't care about your friendship. They could have approached it by just saying they won't be playing it because they don't agree with JK or whatever which is absolutely their choice. This is your choice.

He's not a friend is he!

This is massive problematic behaviour. They didn't have to explain the issue and were pretty vile to you.

It is very controlling behaviour. I would say do what you think is right when it comes to the game. And ignore them. If they want to be your friend, they can just let this drop. If they go on about just kick them out of your life. Real friends allow people to make their own choices

Cut and run. No friend calls you a nazi.

Enjoy the game.

That's exactly what he's doing? Friendship is a two way street and he sounds dreadful.

It is not only the JK is a TERF issue

The game has some details about the history of the Goblins (the main enemies in the game) that share similarities with Jewish history

This is the thing about tra’s, they want to force everyone to do as they say and it’s tiresome at best. Your friend had a double mastectomy because of this ideology, she probably isn’t best placed to be making decisions about other people’s activities.

Its hard to lose a friend, but in this case it’s better than submitting to bullying.

I understand that the trans community has issues with JK Rowling but what is the racist reference?

He sounds like an idiot. A nazi ? Anti semitic ? Have they added this onto Transphobic now ?
Ask him to read what she actually said and to explain to you what in that is transphobic, anti semitic, or suggesting that she is in fact a “nazi” .