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Original poster

Friendship ultimatum over Harry Potter

275 replies

BackToHogwarts · 14/02/2023 14:42

I want to start by saying that I suffer from anxiety after death of a parent and a MC so don't watch news, read newspapers, am not on social media other than Marketplace etc. This was an order from my counsellor at the time as any article about death, illness, nuclear war doomsday etc would send me into a tailspin so my general knowledge of what's going on in the world is limited at best.

Anyway 6 years ago I met a friend of mine at a gaming convention meet up. We bonded over our love for anime, games and all things nerdy and struck up a friendship.

He's a very gifted artist and when he moved further away to pursue this we still kept in touch. He told me he was saving for top surgery so I promoted his shop to everyone I knew to try and help. He has since achieved this and is much happier in himself. I had 2 DCs over the years so my gaming has gone down to maybe 2h after bedtime if I'm not too tired and is something I enjoy very much and is my happy place. Despite this we still played together when we could and debated and recommended games and shows to one another etc.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I mentioned I'm eager to try the new Hogwarts Legacy game as Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood and I would love to go back to Hogwarts, when his entire tone changed.

Suddenly I got called a racist, antisemitic neo-nazi terf (?) who he will never talk to again if I so much as try to play that game. .........WTAF? I thought he was joking at first as we used to talk about Harry Potter but he said that was before he knew better and has since gotten rid of the books and movies and I should do the same if I want to stay his friend. I asked is he seriously going to end our friendship over a game and he said "Are YOU?"

I spent a few days in total shock then yesterday got a message from him which was a screen shot of a Facebook post containing a major game spoiler and the words "if you have a problem with this the block button is right there".

I told my DH about this and he explained the problem the trans community have with JK Rowling.

I am still reeling from this and don't know what to do. On one hand I'm angry as it's my life, my choice and it don't make me a horrible person. On the other hand I feel hurt that he would end our friendship if I don't do exactly as he says and has deliberately spoiled the game. Since when are friendships conditional?

As we are friends on PS he can see what I'm playing.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Knoblauch · 14/02/2023 14:50

'He' is not your friend. Bloc and move on. Enjoy the game, it's very good.

jtaeapa · 14/02/2023 14:50

Block him
dont engage ever again

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 14/02/2023 14:50

pointythings · 14/02/2023 14:48

I have no time for JKR's views on the trans issue, but your friend is nuts. Block, forget, play the game.

Like what? Quotes please.

unstoppable1 · 14/02/2023 14:50

Sounds like a nutter. I'd give him a wide birth from here on out.

StephanieSuperpowers · 14/02/2023 14:50

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Yeah, sending that spoiler and demanding that the friendship ends if the OP plays a game is really being a very bad friend. That's the nub of the problem, right there.

lifeturnsonadime · 14/02/2023 14:50

Your friend is an idiot. Block and ignore.

The game is amazing according to my 16 y/o DS who is playing it at the moment and he says he's reliving it from when he read the books when he was younger.

notforonesecond · 14/02/2023 14:50

Well, he’s trans isn’t he. And as far as I can tell being trans comes with a fun bonus of getting to be part of an insane community of people online who buy into their own victimhood so intensely that you’re never going to have a logical conversation with him about JKR. Lots of them love feeling hard done to and frothing at each other online about it. It’s a whole thing.

If you don’t agree with him there’s no point pretending to. Just block him and do what you like. Life’s too short to be dictated to by the whims of nutters.

Nimo12 · 14/02/2023 14:50

The game is awesome and he's a radicalised idiot. Agree with all PPS. Get him blocked and enjoy the game

Mollymalone123 · 14/02/2023 14:51

That’s not a real friend.Real friends don’t need to blackmail people into their ideology

Botw1 · 14/02/2023 14:51

Even if he does believe the nonsense about JKR I'm not sure how some one playing a game makes them a neo nazi/ anti semitic terf.

The fact he thinks it's OK to use these terms completely innaproriately telos you all you need to know.

Block them

SnoozyVanWinkle · 14/02/2023 14:51

I wouldn't want to be his friend, firstly because of his ridiculous views and secondly because he's trying to make you do something you don't want to do by giving you an ultimatum.

Fancysauce · 14/02/2023 14:52

It's an awesome game. Buy it :) the spoilers are neither here nor there, the TRAs are plastering Facebook with them but to be honest, one of them you work out within the first hour of gameplay and anyway, there's SO much more to the game than the main storyline.

Enjoy immersing yourself in hogwarts and forget this so called friend who is willing to attack you over a computer game.

Knoblauch · 14/02/2023 14:52

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Oh but calling someone a racist, antisemitic neo-nazi terf, completely unfounded and built entirely on lies, is true friendship is it?

pizzaHeart · 14/02/2023 14:53

agree with blocking him and enjoying the game.
Let’s put aside that JKR did nothing wrong the way he addressed the difference in your views was really vile.

Mars27 · 14/02/2023 14:53

Not a real friend, block and move on.

Choconut · 14/02/2023 14:53

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

She hasn't put the game before the friendship, he is the one saying he'll never talk to her again if she plays the game, so he is the one putting the game before the friendship.

Op you can only control your life, you can't control how he reacts to it. You can't however let your life be controlled by him.

autienotnaughty · 14/02/2023 14:54

Jk Rowling like a lot of women has legitimate concerns about the safety of women and women's identity. To want to protect women doesn't mean you have to dislike trans people. You can support trans people and women's rights I would not continue to be friends with this person. Regardless of wether I chose to play the game.

BMW6 · 14/02/2023 14:54

He's an absolute wanker OP. Block him and enjoy the game.

Switchwitch · 14/02/2023 14:54

I'd buy a copy for him, see it as a donation to Beira's Place

Queryer · 14/02/2023 14:54

JK said nothing wrong and was also correct to highlight the rally poster boards inciting capital punishment against anyone who disagrees with their opinions. But for your hopefully former “friend”’s information JK was not involved in the making of the game in any way other than being the original creator of HP so will not be affected in any way by their precious boycott.

Justcallmebebes · 14/02/2023 14:55

discobrain · 14/02/2023 14:47

If you put a game before friendship, you're a terrible friend.

Couldn't the same be said of him too? He sounds vile anyway so I'd merrily wave him on his sad little way

MeinKraft · 14/02/2023 14:56

Sorry your mate turned out to be a blackmailing wingnut OP

BaconMassive · 14/02/2023 14:57

Daddy or Chips

RaininginDarling · 14/02/2023 14:57

pointythings · 14/02/2023 14:48

I have no time for JKR's views on the trans issue, but your friend is nuts. Block, forget, play the game.

No time? What views would JKR hold that you find so objectionable?

MavisMcMinty · 14/02/2023 14:58

Honestly, people can be deranged about JKR. A mutual follower I had on Twitter “unfollowed” everyone who followed JKR, whether or not they’d liked, retweeted or commented on a JKR tweet! Obviously I blocked that person, but I also unfollowed JKR, just to avoid that kind of nonsense, like a coward. Anyway, I’m banned from Twitter now, which is both sad and a blessed relief.