Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

571 replies

MaybeIWillFuckOffThen · 14/02/2023 09:05

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2023 18:42

I came back after a few hours to have a quick scan of this thread, read the last two posts, and banged my head against the wall. Nobody, nobody has detailed stifling teenagers or all boys being horrid.
The op is about a group of older boys she has seen who play football in a tiny toddler play area, and whether that is acceptable or not. And, of course it blooming isn't.

LadyMary50 · 14/02/2023 19:16

minipie · 14/02/2023 09:27

Round here the playgrounds have signs saying what age they are for. Does yours? If it does and says it’s for little kids I would point that out to the boys and then if that doesn’t work, report to council. (Repeatedly if necessary). Also agree about reporting to their school if you know which it is.

I’m not anti playing out per se but these boys have other places to go where they wouldn’t be a hazard to small children. I’m angry for you.

I think the schools have enough to do without being held responsible for children outside of school hours.It’s ridiculous to be reporting to the school.

GoodChat · 14/02/2023 19:17

It wasn't outside of school hours @LadyMary50

WiIson · 14/02/2023 19:19

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2023 18:42

I came back after a few hours to have a quick scan of this thread, read the last two posts, and banged my head against the wall. Nobody, nobody has detailed stifling teenagers or all boys being horrid.
The op is about a group of older boys she has seen who play football in a tiny toddler play area, and whether that is acceptable or not. And, of course it blooming isn't.

Older boys being two years older than her 6 year daughter. Not really older boys. Children. Playing in the park. Like her own children are.

And there's certainly posters here that think boys shouldn't be out and about without supervision.

Obviously I wouldn't expect anything rational from someone who claims to bang their head against the wall in frustration over an online thread though.

Natsku · 14/02/2023 19:19

I think we need a diagram of the park. That will improve the thread immensely.

WiIson · 14/02/2023 19:20

Diagram and pictures will clear up the matter 👍

IndiaDreamer · 14/02/2023 19:35

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2023 18:42

I came back after a few hours to have a quick scan of this thread, read the last two posts, and banged my head against the wall. Nobody, nobody has detailed stifling teenagers or all boys being horrid.
The op is about a group of older boys she has seen who play football in a tiny toddler play area, and whether that is acceptable or not. And, of course it blooming isn't.

You're not really trying to convince us this is not an anti boy thread GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 14/02/2023 19:38

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/02/2023 16:59

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

You have said twice that you work in a school.

Calm down dear.

I could write a book with the anecdotes I've collected from my experience with parents (and colleagues) over the years - it would be a comedy overall with some dark moments thrown in for a bit of balance.

The old adage of apples not falling far from the tree.... shines brightly on this thread.

I said I worked in a school. Past tense.

Then again you’ve added children to my collection so it surprising your reading comprehension isn’t the best 😆

Goldenbear · 14/02/2023 19:40

I just think the OP really will look back on this cringing. I mean it is natural to be protective of your little ones but honestly before you know it they will be the ones playing football near someone's precious toddlers. I'm not trying to be sarcastic as toddlers are precious but so are our bigger children. They are not the enemy and boys are not the enemy!

Goldenbear · 14/02/2023 19:53

arethereanyleftatall actually, expecting to watch preteens all the time when they may be over the road from where they live , is stifling the development of children of that age. Life is full of compromise and unless the OP owns the play area it is probably a good idea to come to that realisation pretty soon for her children's sake as well!

Goldenbear · 14/02/2023 19:54

It is some boys playing football, what's the point in getting worked up about it.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/02/2023 19:59

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

You are modelling excellent behaviour to your son, because that's really how he needs to treat women isn't it?

Apples ... trees.

To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?
HikingforScenery · 14/02/2023 20:02

Maybe you should write to your council, OP. I don’t know how they end uo
putting up thaïe ‘no ball games’ signs. If they’re so close to proper pitches, they should be playing there

WiIson · 14/02/2023 20:09

You are modelling excellent behaviour to your son, because that's really how he needs to treat women isn't it?

Ermm, so if someone came up to you being rude and bossy, you'd just go ok and do it, would you? And teach your kids to do the same?

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/02/2023 20:36

@WiIson

I have had a few parents/people approaching me in a rude and disrespectful manner over my 20 plus year teaching career. I could write a book - I have many anecdotes to share.

But I don't model rude and disrespectful behaviour in front of anyone - not least my own family. I have never allowed my behaviour sink to the level of an ignoramus.

Inastatus · 14/02/2023 20:37

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2023 18:42

I came back after a few hours to have a quick scan of this thread, read the last two posts, and banged my head against the wall. Nobody, nobody has detailed stifling teenagers or all boys being horrid.
The op is about a group of older boys she has seen who play football in a tiny toddler play area, and whether that is acceptable or not. And, of course it blooming isn't.

@arethereanyleftatall - nope, the OP’s AIBU is not whether it’s acceptable for older boys to play football in a toddler play area, it’s that she thinks parents should be supervising their secondary school aged children to make sure they do not do this!

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2023 20:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

WiIson · 14/02/2023 20:56

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/02/2023 20:36

@WiIson

I have had a few parents/people approaching me in a rude and disrespectful manner over my 20 plus year teaching career. I could write a book - I have many anecdotes to share.

But I don't model rude and disrespectful behaviour in front of anyone - not least my own family. I have never allowed my behaviour sink to the level of an ignoramus.

So when parents come up to you and tell you rudely what they want you to do, then you do it.

If you're in a public space and someone tells you rudely to move out of it because they want it, then you do that?

And you teach your kids to do the same?

Generally making polite requests to people gets better results.

And being rude to people doesn't.

And the poster you are referring to didn't say they would do that in front of their kids. You seem to have a bit of an axe to grind and something to prove when it comes to them though. Wading through the thread to find a screen shot so you can adjust it to make some weird point is odd.

GoodChat · 15/02/2023 08:16

@WiIson you can respond to someone respectfully and still not do what they want...

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 15/02/2023 12:27

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/02/2023 19:59

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

You are modelling excellent behaviour to your son, because that's really how he needs to treat women isn't it?

Apples ... trees.

Actually I do think it’s important to show my son (and daughter) how to stick up for yourself.

That was in response to someone who approach a noisy family and tell them (as a fellow diner) to ‘get out’ if they thought the kids were noisy. Too right they’d get a gob full back.

Nice try though Love 🤣

Goodread1 · 15/02/2023 12:41

Hi Op

You have literally said at similar ages to youth who are obviously irritating the heck out of you, that you were allowed to wander off to beach alone,

Just cause you are more solitary introvert, it doesn't mean everyone should be more like that,
Who play outside,

I think it's good youth are not allways playing on electronic games,

I have a feeling when yours children grow up to become teenagers you will not be so Judgemental
especially when they start to rebel a bit/,somewhat , have their own opinions which may not allways be in agreement with yours,

You have been warned L.o l 😄

New posts on this thread. Refresh page