To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

YANBU to be annoyed that they're using a space that isn't intended for them. Our local park, ideal for primary age children, gets vandalised often by teenagers.

But I don't blame the parents as teenagers lie.

I blame the teenagers. As a teen, I didn't commandeer parks for young children. We hung out in fields, gardens, under bridges, chatting and laughing away. We didn't litter, smash up equipment or repeatedly kick a ball at a wall. They need to grow up and be aware of others, which is something teenagers are well able to do. Yes, we were young and stupid. But rarely selfish.

@WiIson

Or maybe they're not - can't really see how aggressively whacking balls about is good practice - and amongst play equipment?

@millymae

If the op had been a general point about older kids innaproriately in smaller kids play spaces then the thread probably would have gone differently

However the op was about criticism of others parenting

Which has continued throughout

"worse" in what sense?

I'm aware teen girls can be difficult. But I have to say just watching the boys when they're in a GOOD mood, playing - the levels of casual violence really makes me uncomfortable. I mean maybe teen girls are just the same. I don't know, I don't see a lot of them, they don't seem to spend as much time in public spaces as the boys. Possibly because as with me, they're told that if male behaviour in a shared space makes you uncomfortable you'll just have to leave the shared space, won't you?

Well no, but they're in transit between home and school. It's not really the same is it.

I generally feel more intimidated by teen girls than I do teen boys, to be honest.

it is the same though.

you can’t really tell a kid that they are okay to walk alone to the school that’s 30 minutes away, but they need supervised going to the park that’s 5 minutes away, can you? That doesn’t make sense.

Preteens are defined as 9-12. So OK maybe 8 is pushing it, I haven't seen their birth certificates. But definitely they are mostly upper primary because i know the uniform, they're from my DD's school. A few maybe first/second year secondary.

I said there was a free space behind the benches THAT THEY ARE NOT USING. Jesus wept.

Hahaha I would never do this in a million years. I am not the gorgon some one here would make me out to be, I'm actually incredibly shy and hate having any kind of confrontation!

I can't tell much difference between DS and the other cubs from appearance.

He's 8 and cubs goes up to 10 and a half.

Admit it, you have nfi how old these kids are not whether it's age appropriate for them to be playing out unsupervised.

And your 6 year old daughter having her head split open lying on the pavement dying. Only for you to do it again and pretend she's a toddler.

Absolutely, if we do not make our boys part of the solution, we are just increasing the odds of angry incel types etc. It can't be them against us. It needs to be people with sense who value equality Vs the idea that there is some competition that one sex will win.

Yes of course it's the same. My kids have negotiated a 5 mile journey to school since year 7. Which involves some walking, and a change of public bus in a busy city centre. All unsupervised. If they can do that, then they certainly can play in the park independently as well.

They're kids trying on hats. One of them decided to try on the 'billy big balls' hat on that occasion (I did say it was one kid on one occasion). But they don't actually want to hurt a baby. Of course they were upset and embarrassed. Just, being kids, they couldn't join the dots that maybe they need to not play that roughly if they don't want the same thing to happen again.

They're not bad kids. Which is why I'm mainly annoyed with the parents. But apparently putting the responsibility on them has made a lot of people who like their kids to play out unsupervised see red.

I see even now we're adults, the cool girls still like picking on the weird ones. Plus ca change.

Oh OP, you can't win - it's AIBU and the usual need some MNers have to prove the OP wrong at any cost. Tomorrow you could name change and post "AIBU to think my 10 and 12 year old boys and their friends have every right to play football in the toddler playground rather than in the park a few minutes further on which has football pitches laid out" and half the posters deriding you here would be telling you of course YABU, toddler playgrounds are for small children under parental supervision.

As I said myself in the post that you are referring to.

Being male I think I am more than qualified to have this opinion. I only noticed it when I became a parent myself. Parent your boys properly and maybe males would grow up not being the shits we read about every single day.

Actually I do need to call out BS on threads.

How did you go from teens to 8yos?

The cool girls?? Really? You think playing in solitary is better than boys making friends, participating in team sport and the life skills they get from that. Because you don't really like boys that much. And you think they should be under supervision in public places. Rather than you, as the adult, telling them to stop or move the ball away if it's annoying you. Because you're afraid of their parents. It's not a healthy way to navigate the world.

So, as a male, do you think young males should be supervised at all times in public places?

Jesus H if you're going to be so argumentative at least learn to follow an argument. Talking about the free space behind the benches in the playground where they could play unimpeded by toddlers 99% of the time, but choose not to. Although @TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl insists that is in fact where they do play and i'm just lying. Because... I don't know, because i'm really really bored or something? How would it be validating to get a load of YANBUs to a completely made up scenario?

Definitely not deliberate and I have never said or implied for one second that it was.

They're not bad kids. Which is why I'm mainly annoyed with the parents. But apparently putting the responsibility on them has made a lot of people who like their kids to play out unsupervised see red

Then why don't you tell the parents.

That's not the same as saying I hate them. I don't want cats either but I don't mind them existing.