To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

I think they should have been raised with respect enough to not cause hassle and distress to people. I dunno maybe not stab people either, you know simple things.

Except I literally NEVER said that. in fact I've repeatedly said it is NOT deliberate, they are apologetic when it has happened, and it's just unfortunately the inevitable outcome of the unsuitable use of the space.

Quote me saying the deliverately kicked a ball in her face. Actually quote me. Or you stop. And quell the melodrama. 'Disturbing and not right'? honestly, It's not like I'm describing the roasting of live puppies with relish. Grab a grip.

Gosh, I didn't realise that only boys stabbed people.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-64239686.amp

Were both of the 15 year olds who stabbed Brianna Ghey boys? I can't quite remember.

Lets not even pretend that girls cause violence on the same scale as boys, that would be a stupid argument.

Who said 9am?

I get confused about the term toddler play park. I've never come across one, just children's play parks, with a swings and slides (most not suitable for toddlers) designed for children to use. The boys you describe sound like children, using a children's play park.

Clearly they are playing the way you would like, and at times they should probably be a bit mindful of other park users but they do have a right to use the park to play too.

I don't remember being supervised when playing out from around 6 years old. But we'd be told to stay near by, which might explains why this group of children are playing in this park rather than in a bigger park a walk away.

By 10 kids are preparing to travel quite some distance to and from school alone, some on public transport. They need practice in being out without parents to become confident ready for secondary school.

The bigger park is probably where the 11+ kids are and they don't always welcome younger ones.

I think you are being rather unfair to the kids.

I think you are completely unreasonable to expect parental supervision at this age. Your children are little and your views will change as they grow up.

And no one will have an old fashioned leather ball. The new balls look similar but are much lighter and bouncier.

Globally, 84% of youth murder victims (age 10-29) are also boys but nobody seems to give a shit about that.

God you’re talking utter extrapolating rubbish now.

See my previous comments on why schools vs playgrounds are different.

I don’t work in a school

I’m not answering the rest of your total rubbish saying I think it’s fine for toddlers to be smacked in the face 🙄

Yeah I don't think anyone should be going around stabbing anyone either. And it takes a community to raise children. If you see children behaving badly, call it out. Although these children don't sound aggressive or rude. Just thoughtless. It comes with the age. As it would have done for you too going through the stages of childhood.

So do you think young males should be supervised in all public places?

Well to be fair you may be right. I wasn't a 'typical' child, and I only have young children. I do hope i manage to transition through their stages of independence reasonably well, and i'm sure there will be lots of revelations and humbling moments along the way!

I guess it's just, things like the 'rough toddler' in soft play thing - I still worry about the baby, even though mine is now the toddler! I'd be mortified if my kid hurt another one, even by accident.

Anyway, it's clear i'm in the minority view on here - or at least there's an extremely vociferous YABU contingent, so I should probably take that onboard!

I'm going to take the girls to the library this afternoon, and now the weather's getting better maybe i'll make the slightly longer trip to the big park and we can do some nature walking and things. Both girls love the little playground so maybe if we have tea early from now on I can whizz them up around 6 for a quick play before bathtime - surely most kids would be at home for dinner by then. Or I can just play it by ear and leave when it's getting too rough.

Certainly I was letting it get to me and realistically there's nothing I can do about it beyond what I have done - as they say, if you can't change the world, you can only change yourself!

Thanks for the rather fewer but very welcome people who don't think i'm totally unreasonable a boy-hating liar. For the rest of you, i'm glad to have given you a little hoot with my beachwalking and my knitting!

No one does give a shit about that. It's considered to be a boy / male problem. Not a society problem. Boys are the cause of all things bad and negative it would seem.

Maybe you should take them to the beach this afternoon op. It's a nice day for it.

I can only wish they were not in the public place to begin with but I won't get that wish. In this instance they wouldn't be in a toddler park had they been brought up correctly.

At 9:05am you posted "It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs."

Maybe it happened earlier, when they were on their way to school. If so they would be in uniform.

You don't should think boys should be out by themselves?

Wow.

Does that include yourself? Should you not be out without female supervision?

Why don’t you politely ask them to move to that space to allow your girls to have a play on the park?

But surely if they are immediately behind the park, in an area less than two houses deep, which also contains a walled swingpark, the ball is just as likely to hit the children? No?

Why don’t you politely ask them to move to that space to allow your girls to have a play on the park?

That's too grown up. Much better to come on here and demonise boys instead.

I've got 2 daughters, one is 6 and one is 2. Sorry if that was confusing. The big one isn't, I don't think, too old for the playground per se, but she doesn't use the equipment much, just potters about playing imaginary games, sometimes with her friends, sometimes by herself or with me. She even (quelle horreur) goes up onto the muddy bank bit and makes 'nests' for the birds out of leaves and things.

It's not that I think older children shouldn't be there, it's that their activities should take into account the presence of smaller, more vulnerable, less well-coordinated children, as that's who the area is actually aimed at. So I don't let me DD ride her scooter there for example, as if she's going too fast she may bash into a wandering toddler. There's a community hall next door and sometimes the old men come over the the play area to sit on the benches and chat. No issue with that either. I just think it's not the space for fast-paced games with hard balls. BUT! I'm clearly in the minority view, so shall have to find better ways of dealing with it than moaning on MN.

Why do people keep cling it a toddler park?

Its a park with play equipment.

Fair enough it's a bit annoying hey are playing football in it but cmon. It's a play park. The op doesn't own it.

I am not a boy so that would be weird. I was also raised correctly so don't cause trouble for other people going about their lives.

Well it still wouldn't be ideal for sure from my perspective but it would certainly be a better compromise! I think it would decrease the likelihood of accidents based on having actually seen the layout. I've descrived it as best I can.

Have you asked them to go to a different part of the park?

It's not the 1970s still! Children aged 10 can't get Saturday jobs and paper rounds are pretty obsolete. They wouldn't be allowed to pick up and drop off siblings at school – they're far too young. At my daughter's primary siblings have to be at least 13 to be allowed to do that. A child of 10 shopping alone in a supermarket is going to raise eyebrows too, from a safeguarding point of view. I think you are massively projecting your own childhood here, which sounds very quiet and sedate with your beach walks and talking to seagulls.

Just tell them to move then op. It's really not hard. Just politely explain the reason why and direct them to where they need to go. Sometimes they need clear instructions with a fair and reasonable alternative given. Such as behind the benches. If they are age 8, then they may not actually be allowed to go 5 minutes further away. And arguably allowed in the same space as you and your 6 year old as well.