Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be a bit narked that my neighbour has asked....

122 replies

nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 12:47

If she can borrow some money off me.

I only know her to say hi to, she seems like a nice enough person but she has just asked to borrow a couple of hundred quid from me. Although I have the money saved away I don't particularly want to loan it to someone I hardly know.

I lied and told her I didn't have to money to lend, then I could have kicked myself for saying that as there was a £20 note on the coffee table for a takeaway for DH and I tonight.
She said well I'll just take that 20 quid then I lied again and said that it's to buy some nappies and formula for DD. We use washable nappies and DD is BF, but she didn't know that.

So AIBU to not lend her some money.

BTW, Dh and I are certainly not flushed with money, the majority of any left over cash after bill have been paid goes in to savings. If we are lucky we will have a bit to treat ourselves to a takeaway once in a while.

OP posts:

JeremyVile · 08/02/2008 15:04

God, what a freak your neighbour is. Well done you for not lending her anything.

She's CLEARLY on drugs.

sparklesandwine · 08/02/2008 15:05

btw i'm speaking from my own experience only here, and for me it wasn't pretty

I tried to mediate between a neighbour and her boyfriend once, she came in tears after rows etc, i did the tea and sympathy for months and then they then both turned on me!

Original poster

nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 15:09

Awww thanks MotherFunk, DD is my PFB, and I do have to take all my time to let anyone else hold her Dh and I fight over her, unless she needs her nappynoonoo changed.

God, I've just realized I'm one of them mothers who wants to wrap DC up in bubble wrap and cotton wool, with an extra layer of bubble wrap

OP posts:

Baffy · 08/02/2008 15:09

Tbh this neighbour isn't a friend and you really don't know anything about her and for that reason, do you really want to get involved in her problems?

Perhaps the idea of popping round with a flask to see if she's ok is a good one. If she genuinely has no electricity you'll be able to tell and the flask of something warm I'm sure would be greatly received.

But don't feel obliged to get involved with this woman or feel you have any responsibility to help her with her problems.
Unless you really want to.

mylovelymonster · 08/02/2008 15:12

Nappynoonoo - sorry your thread was hijacked and turned into a row - not your fault.
MF -

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 15:15

Message withdrawn

greyskythinker · 08/02/2008 15:19

Gosh, I'm so confused. Who is on drugs? Who used to be on drugs? Who is being mean about drug-users?

Anyway, back to nappynoonoo. I don't think that you should feel you need to keep a friendly eye on your neighbour. It was really presumptious and out of order to think she could help herself to your hard earned cash. You probably have enough on your plate without taking on virtual stranger's problems as well.

mylovelymonster · 08/02/2008 15:20

Also - you cherish your little babynoonoo as much as you like - cotton wool & all. I bet you're a lovely mum. Please don't feel responsible for your neighbour and her problems - you can try and be a friend if you wish, but that's your decision - and MN is here for support and suggestion not moral inquisition x

Fireflyfairy2 · 08/02/2008 15:27

I simply can't believe she said she would have the £20 right there on the table.... did she really say that?

noddyholder · 08/02/2008 15:29

the comment about the £20 is almost worse!

soopermum1 · 08/02/2008 15:46

going back to one of MF's posts, she could owe the money to whoever broke the window. loan shark maybe? it's not normal to have folk panning in your windows and then screaming abuse at you. hence the knowledge of exactly how much she needed and why it was such a round amount.

i would've get involved, whatever the circumstances, though. maybe that makes me harsh but a visit may spiral into another request for money session.

Original poster

nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 15:51

FireFlyFairy2, yep she really did say that, which TBH, made me it even less likely that I would lend her the money.

OP posts:

kekouan · 08/02/2008 16:03

Jesus, no YANBU! Cheeky bitch!

I've made the mistake of loaning money in the past, to friends as well. Every single time, without exception, they've 'forgotten' to pay me back.

Maybe i need to be better at choosing my friends :-p

SparklyDYSONGothKat · 08/02/2008 16:03

I lent a neighbour £10 once, for electricity, she said she would pay it back the next day. I never got it back. I know it was only a small amount, but it was my last £10 until I got to the bank myself. I will not lend money now. SO YANBU

mumzyof2 · 08/02/2008 16:33

Binkle - whats the 2nd to last picture on your profile?

Flllightattendant · 08/02/2008 16:35

Some people do seem to think that their problems are everyone else's. I've got a friend (well, if I can call her that) whom I hide from every time she comes round.
She only ever uses me, and I just have nothing to give.
I used to like her a lot but now she upsets me and makes the baby cry. She uses a lot of weed, freely admits it, but will not help herself and blames everyone else for the fact she is constantly in a state.
I always feel guilty, but have to force myself to turn the situation round in my head, and think 'would I do that to her?' and the answer is always 'No way!'.
Please be wary of this neighbour, because even if she is not on drugs etc etc etc it doesn't matter, she is not behaving normally and that puts you at risk of abuse of your niceness.
Stand up for your family and children, and don't let her in. She might need help, but you can't do that for her, it just isn't possible - I know I cannot help my 'friend' either, it would take a professional plus her willingness to change, neither of which are present.
Sorry you had to lie and feel bad, it was all you could do in the heat of the moment but definitely the right thing, so don't worry x

LilRedWG · 08/02/2008 16:36

Sparkly...

If you lend someone £10 & never see them again, it is £10 well spent!

Shizaru · 08/02/2008 16:38

Definitely NBU.

She must be pretty desperate to be that brazen about asking.

binkleandflip · 08/02/2008 17:20

It's my rabbit lol

I am useless with a camera so no idea how to zoom but he is that grey blob lurking under the bush

binkleandflip · 08/02/2008 17:23

p.s. I am nice I promise (thankyou Laurie!!) and I honestly didnt mean offence but I can accept it didnt sound quite right.

Apologies MF

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 19:55

Message withdrawn

notalone · 08/02/2008 23:33

Slacksally - its really weird you asked if OP lives in Brighton as it reminds me of a situation my mate used to have when she lived in the Hollingdean area of Brighton. Wouldn't it be strange if it was the same road / person we were both thinking of?!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread