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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit narked that my neighbour has asked....

122 replies

nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 12:47

If she can borrow some money off me.

I only know her to say hi to, she seems like a nice enough person but she has just asked to borrow a couple of hundred quid from me. Although I have the money saved away I don't particularly want to loan it to someone I hardly know.

I lied and told her I didn't have to money to lend, then I could have kicked myself for saying that as there was a £20 note on the coffee table for a takeaway for DH and I tonight.
She said well I'll just take that 20 quid then I lied again and said that it's to buy some nappies and formula for DD. We use washable nappies and DD is BF, but she didn't know that.

So AIBU to not lend her some money.

BTW, Dh and I are certainly not flushed with money, the majority of any left over cash after bill have been paid goes in to savings. If we are lucky we will have a bit to treat ourselves to a takeaway once in a while.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 08/02/2008 13:04

not to be mad scaremongerer, but think OP should make sure all doors locked and money not left out in full view.

Original poster
nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 13:04

TBH I immediately thought she may be using drugs and I wondered if that is why she wanted the money. It's horrible to say and I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt. But she looks unkempt and smells a bit, looks like she always coming down off something when I see her. So I think drugs may be a big possibility.

OP posts:
greyskythinker · 08/02/2008 13:07

Don't let her in the house again!!

Original poster
nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 13:09

lol, getorfmoiland, I'm a complete worrier by nature and all my doors are lock all the time (Obviously unless someone is walking through them.) Even if I am in the house I cant settle unless I know they are locked. All our windows have proper catches as well so I can open them but keep them locked.

Lucky for me my dog, who is really a softie, has a habit of barking even when someone walks past the house, and goes mad if someone enters the garden. They can't see him and he is only medium sized, but he has got a really powerful bark on him.

OP posts:
Blu · 08/02/2008 13:17

You don't ned any justification not to lend to anyone - let alone someone you know so slightly. And especially in the absense of any explained emergency and re-payment plan!

Crikey!

Original poster
nappynoonoo · 08/02/2008 13:20

So that is a unanimous I am not BU then
I didn't think I was but just felt a bit awful for lying to her and not lending her the money.

OP posts:
nervousal · 08/02/2008 13:22

This thread has all of a sudden jumped from "my neighbour unrealistically wanted to borrow money from me" to "my neighbour is a drug addict who is going to break into my house"

KerryMum · 08/02/2008 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 13:32

Message withdrawn

greyskythinker · 08/02/2008 13:39

Nappynoonoo,

Do you live behind me? My neighbours have a barkey dog that drives us nuts - It barks at us when we are in our garden. I might start a new thread about unreasonable barkey dogs

binkleandflip · 08/02/2008 13:39

Total cheek to ask for money.

You are in no way indebted to help her at all unless you choose too.

By the description I would probably assume drugs too if I am honest but that is a separate issue to her audacity re the money

Bangandthedirtisgone · 08/02/2008 13:40

Don't think it's that judgemental actually, given that the statement contained: " I think drugs may be a big possibility."

Some drug users wear make-up and nice clothers, others don't. She didn't say that this woman was without a doubt a drug user, just that it does seem a possibility.

Bangandthedirtisgone · 08/02/2008 13:41

"deffo addict"

Now THAT'S a judgemental statement.

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 13:44

Message withdrawn

Bangandthedirtisgone · 08/02/2008 13:45

In the context of someone who is begging for hundreds of pounds and trying to take 20 pound notes out of peoples houses it's a reasonable thing to question if they're a drug user.

Bangandthedirtisgone · 08/02/2008 13:46

You might also question if they're a gambler, if they've been burgled etc etc. Just as long as you don't ASSUME you know their situation it's not judgemental to consider what it might be.

milliec · 08/02/2008 13:47

Message withdrawn

DualCylinderCod · 08/02/2008 13:48

ah get off yer high horse.
htis is mn we do judging

binkleandflip · 08/02/2008 13:49

Coming from what is largely regarded as the drugs capital of England I would say I have a pretty good eye for someone under the heavy influence of drugs - yes.

jesuswhatnext · 08/02/2008 13:52

judge all you like - it's your money and you don't have to lend it anyone - you don't need to make excuses either, just say no!

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 13:52

Message withdrawn

SlackSally · 08/02/2008 13:54

Nappynoonoo, you're not in Brighton, are you?

bossykate · 08/02/2008 13:55

of course you are not being unreasonable!

MotherFunk · 08/02/2008 13:55

Message withdrawn

binkleandflip · 08/02/2008 13:56

I didnt say she was if you read my post properly MF - do that first then ask me again