Twattiest colleague ever?

[PixiePolka]

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

[Cheeseandpickleplease]

Don’t lie

or lie but don’t send incriminating photographic evidence 🤷‍♀️

[LafayetteCwenchinglyMcQuaffen]

You lied and you got found out. YABU.

[EarringsandLipstick]

You can't be serious? This is a joke right?

On the off chance it's true, you're a muppet for lying so internationally & deserve all the comments. I'd have lost so much respect for you if I were your boss.

If you'd just said you were late - it would have been no issue.

[EarringsandLipstick]

*intentionally (though 'internationally' works too in this case 😂)

[whichwaywhere]

First rule of getting away with it is to keep it simple.
I'd have said 'Well obviously I just used a stock traffic image to make my point' and then left it and ignored him.

[Loics]

😂 Sorry but it's 100% deserved in this situation, OP.

[Coffeellama]

Serves you right for your stupid lie! Next time say sorry I slept in, I’m on my way. He might be annoying but liars are far more annoying in my opinion.

[CTRALTDEL]

That’s hilarious! Just say you slept in!!
I would have fronted it out and pretended I knew it was a French photo.
yoire going to have to stick it out

[watchfulwishes]

You lied and got caught out. He sounds annoying to you, but I can see why it is funny for him/others.

[whichwaywhere]

And you are being unreasonable. If you lied and got caught, be gracious and own it. C'est la vie!

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

Why did you think you had to post a photo?
What a silly thing to do!
So now you have to suffer the stupid jokes because you were silly yourself.
Next time just say "I slept in" we've all done it..

[Itsmyturnnow1]

Totally serves you right! Can’t believe you failed so badly with a foreign picture… luckily you didn’t get the sack! Just laugh along and he will get over it! The more you’re bothered the more he will carry on!

[BatshitBanshee]

Twat gets called out by twat. I think you both cancel each other out.

Why the fuck would you send photo evidence in the first place - you could have saved yourself bother and just said "running late this morning, plumbing issues, will be as quick as a I can." No need for the fake pic of an overflowing bog.

[Spirini]

@EarringsandLipstick haha

OP if you're prepared to lie like that you'll have to accept the repercussions. This man may be giving you a roasting about it, but I can guarantee many of your colleagues will think less if you because of this. People hate liars.

[SnarkyBag]

Ha ha that’s brilliant! To be honest I don’t blame him for milking it a bit! The best fibs are ones kept simple. You over egged it with the photo.

[Oysterbabe]

You'd have several people taking the piss at our place too. Laugh at yourself and get over it.

[Nimbostratus100]

Why didnt you just say you had overslept a bit and were hurrying in to work? Why did you stop and have a shower if you were late to work? Is this a joke? I dont get it

[AccidentallyRunToWindsor]

Play stupid games and all that....

Why didn't you just tell the truth?

[NCcantthinkofanewone]

😂😂😂 sorry but this is so funny.

There is nothing wrong with just admitting you've slept in, we have all done it

[PineappleMel]

That's quite funny tbh. If you drop a clanger that big, you have to expect to have the piss taken. For a bit. Not forever though.

[CTRALTDEL]

if I worked with you I’d have everyone calling you Pierre or summat by now…

[ensayers]

@EarringsandLipstick

You can't be serious? This is a joke right?

On the off chance it's true, you're a muppet for lying so internationally & deserve all the comments. I'd have lost so much respect for you if I were your boss.

If you'd just said you were late - it would have been no issue.

Maybe at your place of work being late is no big issue... you're lucky if that's the case. I hope u appreciate what you've got.

[Inkpotlover]

I think the statute of limitations on piss-taking directly correlates to how stupid the gaffe was – so I think you've got at least a couple more weeks of ribbing to endure. The best thing to do is laugh it off and take the sting out of it. I'd turn up tomorrow with croissants for everyone and say 'turns out the chunnel wasn't so busy this morning'. But only do that if you've apologised profusely to your boss for the blatant lying, as they might not see the funny side.

[IWasFunBeforeMum]

Mumsnet post of the day, hilarious!

[WeepingSomnambulist]

Why the fuck did you add a photo? Adults dont do that. They just say they're stuck In traffic or they dont lie in the first place.

Being late once is not a problem. Lieing and fabricating evidence is a huge problem. Grow up.