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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twattiest colleague ever?

290 replies

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:12

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
GretnaGreenIsLovely · 13/02/2023 19:28

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:26

I thought it would make it more believable if I put a photo of a traffic jam along with the message but I should have kept it simple. Lesson learnt and I will just have to take the stick. May try bringing in croissants next time it's my turn!

Yes absolutely!!! Glad you are going to join in the banter and have learnt a lesson 🇫🇷

My tip from now on though is to never lie again in the work place. A lot of people don't like a lier (me included), and you really don't want this label as you'll not be trusted easily again ...

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 13/02/2023 19:29

In my industry, the next day would have seen your desk draped in the French flag, memes of snails on the WhatsApp, and we’d have sung La Marseillaise as you walked in.

You got caught out - should have owned it, laughed and indeed brought croissant in the next day.

Tinkerbyebye · 13/02/2023 19:29

You did wrong and got found out, but I would say weeks later it’s enough

nexttime just call him out, admit ok I did wrong but stop behaving like a twat and going on about it, it’s no longer funny, and repeat

Mariposista · 13/02/2023 19:30

Why don’t you try laughing with them rather than being uptight and over sensitive? You have to admit the photo fail is funny

Itsnotaferret · 13/02/2023 19:30

This is hilarious! Your the twat!
What an absolute "faux par"

BotterMon · 13/02/2023 19:30

Ha - he sounds brilliant. Less time googling and you would have been in 5 minutes earlier. Lesson learned I hope for you and yes do take in a nice French breakfast for them.

Excited101 · 13/02/2023 19:31

Hahahaha! YABVU to have a shower when you’re late, YABVU to faff around sending a photo that didn’t need to be sent and YABVU when you got found out and are now the massive butt of a joke.

Beneficialchampion2 · 13/02/2023 19:32

What a twat you are OP

As A manager I'd have a lot more respect for you if you'd have just been honest.

FictionalCharacter · 13/02/2023 19:32

You lied, embellished the lie and got found out, but there’s no need for him to keep crowing about it. So yes I think he is a twat.

Kranke · 13/02/2023 19:32

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 13/02/2023 19:29

In my industry, the next day would have seen your desk draped in the French flag, memes of snails on the WhatsApp, and we’d have sung La Marseillaise as you walked in.

You got caught out - should have owned it, laughed and indeed brought croissant in the next day.

Same here, someone would have gone out and bought us all cheap berets and baguettes!

This is why you never use the traffic jam/delayed train excuse - you can bet someone drove that way/got that train too. Would it really have been that bad if you were late? I would have just said ‘sorry, running late’, if there was a meeting or something. Otherwise I don’t think I would even mention it.

SequinsandStilettos · 13/02/2023 19:34

Oh OP. God love you.

harrassedmumto3 · 13/02/2023 19:34

Sorry, but I'm pissing myself laughing here Grin

nbcsw · 13/02/2023 19:34

🥴

drunkornot · 13/02/2023 19:35

How late to work were you in the end? I agree that there’s no point lying like this unless you’re extremely late getting in.

At my workplace, line managers would only start ringing around if you were 30+ minutes late. You don’t really need to explain why you were late before 30 minutes as long as you declare it accurately on your flexi sheet. If it’s a habit, then management would act.

juliettesmother · 13/02/2023 19:35

Am sorry OP but this is hilarious. You have got off rather lightly so far, as other PP's have said.
The only way forward is to own it, join in the jokes and accept that you will forever be the one who lied rather than telling the truth.

It's all your own doing.

Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly · 13/02/2023 19:35

This made me laugh so much I had to go back and read it again. Your colleague sounds a right laugh, although I know it can be a PITA having to endure stuff. In any case he should drop it now else it actually can be classed as bullying. But you did deserve it, OP.
<still laughing>

Prouddoggieparent · 13/02/2023 19:35

drunkornot · 13/02/2023 19:26

Honestly I think you need to rethink your priorities! Fuck your colleague.

You just got caught out lying to your manager…publicly. Everything you say/do going forward may be scrutinised. You have lost credibility. The next time you’re late or call in sick, they will follow absence procedures to the letter.

Worry about the damage to your reputation and get into damage control mode. You will come across way better by going along with these jokes and coming across as a team player. Make sure you’re on time to work going forward and go above and beyond…the heat will die down.

Exactly this. You will forever be known as a lying twat now.

Grovel, make fun of yourself and get the croissants.

Companyofwolves · 13/02/2023 19:36

Inkpotlover · 13/02/2023 19:20

I think the statute of limitations on piss-taking directly correlates to how stupid the gaffe was – so I think you've got at least a couple more weeks of ribbing to endure. The best thing to do is laugh it off and take the sting out of it. I'd turn up tomorrow with croissants for everyone and say 'turns out the chunnel wasn't so busy this morning'. But only do that if you've apologised profusely to your boss for the blatant lying, as they might not see the funny side.

This - perfect.

ButterflyOil · 13/02/2023 19:36

Sorry but that is funny. You should have held your hands up, said you panicked and then bought in croissants for everyone.

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 13/02/2023 19:37

EarringsandLipstick · 13/02/2023 19:15

*intentionally (though 'internationally' works too in this case 😂)

Hahaha I wasn’t sure if it was a play on words, worked out perfectly.

“Ou est le papier"

Surreality22 · 13/02/2023 19:38

Oh merde.

nottheoptic · 13/02/2023 19:39

Désolée, mais I would never stop taking le piss out of you for this one.

todaystoday · 13/02/2023 19:40

😂😂😂😂 I really hope this is real

NCcantthinkofanewone · 13/02/2023 19:41
Grin
Twattiest colleague ever?
Suzi888 · 13/02/2023 19:41

Thank goodness you didn’t have the trots, no one needs to see photographic evidence….