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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twattiest colleague ever?

290 replies

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:12

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
AffIt · 13/02/2023 20:02

It is very funny... I would definitely be bringing croissants and pain au chocolats to the next meeting and beginning my opening remarks with a sunny 'bonjour!'.

OP, you got caught out, it happens, but I think just throwing your hands up and saying 'okay, you got me!' would be the best plan.

And keep lies simple, it's easier that way. 😉😄

Figmentof · 13/02/2023 20:02

I think you colleague is quite funny and you deserve that completely for being such an idiot. All you needed to do was say you were running late!

Choconut · 13/02/2023 20:03

I think we all know who the award for the twattiest colleague should go to........you are what the French call, 'les incompetents'.

All you can do now is embrace it and roll with it.

ClaireEclair · 13/02/2023 20:04

I think he’s quite witty 😂if this is even true.

cilary · 13/02/2023 20:05

Odd. Why not just I’m really sorry my alarm didn’t go off? Integrity is good.

BloggersBlog · 13/02/2023 20:05

Well it is refreshing to see an OP with a very honest title about themselves

Poopoolittlerabbit · 13/02/2023 20:05

At our place you’d have ‘ French’ as a prefix to your name by now… ooh Lala!

Blueink · 13/02/2023 20:05

Next time tell the truth, it is ridiculous and quite funny you posted a French traffic jam, no wonder they are still laughing about it

AramintaLee · 13/02/2023 20:06

Honestly at this point, you just need to laugh along with it. If you show its winding you up, it will just make things worse.

You messed up by sending the photo (should have just been honest!) so you deserve all the stick.

Time to poke fun at yourself and take a pack of croissants in for the team!

Alfiesmom74 · 13/02/2023 20:06

He actually sounds like a fun chap to work with. You told a whopper and got caught out…pull your big girl pants on and take it on the chin!

cilary · 13/02/2023 20:07

I don’t touch teams for stuff like this, especially in a rush as it’s too easy to put something silly and cringe over it.

Famousinlove · 13/02/2023 20:07

Does the colleague like you OP? If not, it's going to be a long ride! 😂
(Not as long as your commute from France though!)

LuluBlakey1 · 13/02/2023 20:07

You ate lucky not to have been subject to a disciplinary for lying to your boss and fabricating evidence to support the lie.
You need to grow up.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 13/02/2023 20:10

That's hilarious I would give him a big hug for all the bants. Sounds like a great guy

Orangery21 · 13/02/2023 20:10

He sounds really funny though….I’d laugh alongside him

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 13/02/2023 20:11

I'm always amazed that people lie. Don't lie! Or at least, only tell a slightly untrue version of the truth Grin Sorry, but you're going to have to put up with this for a bit longer.

AlinaSquareQueen · 13/02/2023 20:11

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/02/2023 19:52

Easily done, I did something similar, said I was held up on the train but accidently selected a picture of Yuri Gagarin in his space capsule.

Now, at our weekly update meeting everybody mouths the lyrics of Major Tom and floats about the room as a joke.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

This reply is the funniest thing I’ve read on MN in ages 😂

In fact, the entire thread is hilarious - I can’t actually believe the OP is for real.

Blueink · 13/02/2023 20:11

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/02/2023 19:52

Easily done, I did something similar, said I was held up on the train but accidently selected a picture of Yuri Gagarin in his space capsule.

Now, at our weekly update meeting everybody mouths the lyrics of Major Tom and floats about the room as a joke.

😂thread was worth it for this

Youdoyoubabe · 13/02/2023 20:11

you know you are an idiot right. Your colleague is funny. You ain't got a leg to stand on and you know it!

Dippyeggz · 13/02/2023 20:12

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I like this guy

Theluggage15 · 13/02/2023 20:12

I’m finding this difficult to believe, you thought people would find it more believable if you provided photographic evidence? Really? How bizarre. Now your colleagues will think you’re an idiot and a liar.

Mainlinethehappy · 13/02/2023 20:12

He’s the twat?!

gettingolderandgrumpier · 13/02/2023 20:13

What sort of ninny takes a picture of a traffic jam you just say stuck in traffic . I’d be a bit hummm if I was your manager . Next time just say running late what’s not to believed your late it’s not the end of the world . You spent time googling pictures you should have spent that time getting ready and getting to work as quick as possible.
I think your colleague sound’s hilarious it’s your own fault op just own it , be careful what you lie about as now will they believe you next time ?

ethelredonagoodday · 13/02/2023 20:14

Your colleague sounds annoying BUT why didn't you just say you slept in?
You've made yourself look daft.

Vitriolinsanity · 13/02/2023 20:15

@endoftheworldniteclub they rocked it. None of us resent or blame; it's literally two things that in a lifetime you couldn't make up.

I got a full set of PPE because I've had Covid twice.