Valentine's Day drama WIBU?

[scarlettcarbonara]

Dh has been unwell for the past week and hasn't made it out to get a valentines card. Seemingly he's also forgot how to use Amazon/Moonpig etc. I haven't made a fuss about it but as it's now apparent I don't have a card for tomorrow I feel a bit put out. Especially as he did a similar thing last year.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bothered about big statement gifts. But for me a small card is just a token of appreciation. It shouldn't really be a chore and it's not hard work. He's made noises about how he really ought to get to the shop to get me a card which to me just screams of him wanting me to tell him not to bother and don't worry about it. I've calmly tried to explain that there's no point bothering now because he's made it into such a drama and faff thats not what it's about. If he really wanted to sort something he could have popped out and got one without saying anything like I did with his weeks ago.

Aibu to think this is piss poor? Yes he's been unwell but there would have been chance before that. And there's always the internet. Last year something happened where he was otherwise engaged and 'unable' to get me one too. He's usually pretty good otherwise so maybe he just doesn't care about Valentine's Day and I don't either really but it just stings a bit really.

My DH is fairly useless with remembering dates like valentines/anniversary etc, so I make sure I mention it in the lead up, and on occasions when he’s just not had the chance to get a card he has made one (even just a simple folded piece of card saying “Happy Valentines Day” or something, with a nice message inside, and honestly it’s just as nice! We don’t make a big thing of it at all but it’s nice to have that moment of knowing that they were thinking of you and bothered to make the effort!

Married similar length of time.
Wouldn't bother me.
But it bothers you.
That's what matters.

You say it is not important but you started a thread on it, we have never celebrated it, never felt the need

Of course lots of couples do something for Valentine's but I am pretty sure you know that.

Been married 42 years and we always give each other a card and, often, a present. We have a nice meal usually either takeaway or cooking it ourselves. Some years we have gone away for the night or couple of nights.

We have one of the Valentine meal deals for tomorrow night and are going out for the day.

My parents gave each other a card for the 68 years they were married.

If he shows he loves you the rest of the year,I think it's ludicrous to make a fuss about this. The kids have started nagging us to do valentines xads

Sorry,posted too soon.

The kids are nagging us to do cards for everyone in the family and it's just another bloody chore tbh.

YABU, fuck the cards and teddies. Roll on pancake day, worth celebrating that one mmm.

Are you a teenager? Valentines Day is a marketing scheme and nothing more.

If it matters to you it should matter to him as he loves you

Valentine’s Day is commercialized nonsense for the gullible. It was supposed to about secret admirers sending anonymous cards but now it’s just a load of red and heart-shaped, overpriced rubbish.

And no, I am not bitter as I have been happily married for many years but dislike orchestrated and manipulated days like this. One card is not what love and romance is about.

I don't buy into the Valentines BS.

Wowsers, OP said they've been together 13 years so not exactly without experience of long term and hasn't said he shows her affection the rest of the time.

Valentine's Day is literally the most important day of the year.
He is massively disrespecting you.
No excuses, time to LTB.

Sorry OP yes he’s being an annoying idiot. He could’ve just ordered one online and he shouldn’t be being so vocal about getting one. If you’ve only been married three years and he didn’t get one last year too is also be very disappointed. It’s not hard to get a card once a year!!

We never sent Valentine cards and we were married for almost 52 years. Yorkshiremen are the bane of Hallmark's life!

Just agree you won't bother anymore either.

It's started early this year.

Honestly I thought only teenagers or people in brand new girlfriend/boyfriend dating or relationships did this. Complete non-issue and if I were him I’d think you were bonkers when you handed over a card.

Valentine's Day is juvenile. I've been married so long, if my husband remembers and brings me something, I'm more like to say Why than Thank you. I'd rather he give me something spontaneously than feel he 'had to' because it's some stupid made up holiday.

And that is relevant to the OP or thread in what way?🙄

Well I am lucky as my husband gives me spontaneous presents, often buys me flowers, takes me out for meals and cooks lovely meals for me. He also always buys me a Valentine's card and usually a present.

Doesn't have to be either/or you know

As he’s poorly then why not treat him to a at home spa day tomorrow and his favourite meal

That's it. Worst sentence ever written. The Internet can officially close for business.

My four least favourite words: poorly; spa; treat; meal. All in the same utterance. That's enough reading for me.

He's made noises about how he really ought to get to the shop to get me a card which to me just screams of him wanting me to tell him not to bother and don't worry about it.

This part would bother me a bit. Buy something or don't but either way, it's not cool to moan about how much trouble it is or that he 'ought' to do it.

I've got DH a card. He's probably got me one. I may or may not get flowers (I do think it's a huge rip off). We are going for an Indian. Silver wedding next year.

I'd totally forgotten, saw a card earlier on the dining table and some chocolates, I said to my husband "who are they for?" Looked closer and the card said "wife" 🤣 that'd be me then. I haven't got him a card, hope he isn't going to stomp about like you because I didn't spend £1.50 in asda on one, clearly means I just don't love him 😆. That or we've been together way too long to care about a made up day. Our wedding anniversary is "our day" besides.