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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding during GCSE period

236 replies

RoseyPosey78 · 13/02/2023 13:38

After a very long engagement (7 years!) DP & I are finally booking our wedding for next year. We have always wanted to get married in June as our unofficial anniversary is in this month. However, DSD will be taking her GCSE's next year and they fall over May-June time! Do you think AIBU to to think she will be ok for one day and it won't disrupt her too much? I am happy to go into July as obviously I'd rather she do as well as she can but just wondered what people's thoughts are as the June date has a lot of sentimental value for us?! We're looking at the May half term to give her space around the day if that helps?

OP posts:
MXVIT · 13/02/2023 13:40

She will be absolutely fine for one day.

MN are so bloody weird around exams its like life has to come to a standstill for the entire 12-18 months before GCSEs

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 13/02/2023 13:41

I think this is one of those times you need to prioritise your child’s future and let her sit her GCSEs without distractions! Unless it’s once her exams are finished and won’t take her away from revision.

BethDuttonsTwin · 13/02/2023 13:42

Book it last week of June. Exams will be finished by then.

GoodChat · 13/02/2023 13:43

Is it going to be on a weekend or a school day?

Jenn3112 · 13/02/2023 13:43

Do you already know the dates of her exams? If not you are putting her in an awful position if the day of your wedding or the day after is an exam. I wouldn't do it. Just wait until after exams so she can enjoy the day too.

Fiddlersgreen · 13/02/2023 13:43

What if there is an exam on that day?

Bunnycat101 · 13/02/2023 13:43

I think it would be pretty selfish to do it in the middle of her exams. It won’t just be one day, there will inevitably be other stuff going on around the wedding, you stressing about arrangements, guests etc.

Augend23 · 13/02/2023 13:44

Will it really just be one day?

Or will there be stuff in the run up she would want to be involved in/which will be meaning you are totally distracted and can't support her if she's stressed?

In the run up to weddings there are usually last minute decisions, dress fittings, venue decorating etc. Are you going on a honeymoon after?

However I don't think most GCSE exam providers move the dates of exams around too much. Looking at e.g. AQA, for this year the only exams they have after 16th June are DT, Dance Engineering, Food Tech, Polish and Punjabi. Obviously that's not 0 subjects but they are less common ones. You could check when the exams are this year for the exam boards your daughter is doing and see if it's likely she'll be done in early-mid June?

spacechimp79 · 13/02/2023 13:44

Most GCSE students usually finish mid June so the later in June the better. My son did his last year and would have been totally fine having a day off for this.
Good luck with the planning.

midgemadgemodge · 13/02/2023 13:45

Planing a wedding - even a low key one - is stressful - it isn't just one day

I'd want to focus on my child and her stresses during gcse

Make it easy on the whole family. - well before it or well after

Original poster
RoseyPosey78 · 13/02/2023 13:45

@MXVIT thank you 😊 it's not like she's going to have a wild night but I know she'll want to be involved in the run up so I don't want her distracted!

OP posts:
Aixellency · 13/02/2023 13:46

No she won’t be ok.

It would be immensely selfish if you to embark on a period of preparation for such an important event , planned to culminate at exactly the time she will be taking exams. Are you having a laugh? In the months before her GCSEs she’ll need your full support and attention - not to come second to your wedding planning.

It would be ‘just one day’ if it were someone else’s wedding. Her mother’s wedding is an entirely different thing.

Honestly if I were her I would find it hard to forgive you.

peanuttery · 13/02/2023 13:46

From experience, weddings are not one day. Even small weddings can be chaotic leading up to it.

I'm not a fusser, but Id seriously consider pushing as far away from the exams as possible - for everyone's sanity.

MaggieFS · 13/02/2023 13:46

I'm not being funny about exams but you'll want to look forward to the wedding and enjoy the excitement and time running up to it.

BUT her exams will affect the rest of her life and need to take priority. You don't to know how she'll be with them, so if you have a choice, I'd just wait until they are three weeks out of the way. It removes pressure from everyone.

MXVIT · 13/02/2023 13:47

Honestly if I were her I would find it hard to forgive you.

Can everyone just calm down just a little bit.

Original poster
RoseyPosey78 · 13/02/2023 13:48

@Aixellency I wondered how long it would be before an evil stepmother troll came out to play! FYI she has lived with DP
& I for over ten years full time and her DM isn't on the scene at all, so for for her this is her parents getting married...

OP posts:
Hesma · 13/02/2023 13:48

I think you should find out when her exams finish and book after. This is one time she needs to be prioritised I’m afraid

Dobbyismyabsolutefav · 13/02/2023 13:48

One day off from revision should be fine if it is at the weekend or in the May half-term but mid week during exams season will be a nightmare. Have you checked the exams schedule for this year to give you an indication on dates? Obviously this is not foolproof, but you can see when exams should finish. Also check out contingency day for national disasters as they need to be available for this date too.

x2boys · 13/02/2023 13:49

Aixellency · 13/02/2023 13:46

No she won’t be ok.

It would be immensely selfish if you to embark on a period of preparation for such an important event , planned to culminate at exactly the time she will be taking exams. Are you having a laugh? In the months before her GCSEs she’ll need your full support and attention - not to come second to your wedding planning.

It would be ‘just one day’ if it were someone else’s wedding. Her mother’s wedding is an entirely different thing.

Honestly if I were her I would find it hard to forgive you.

For one day during May half term🙄
my 16yr year old is sitting his GCSE,s this summer this is exactly the stress I'm not putting him under ,Exams are important but they are not the be all and end all.

Original poster
RoseyPosey78 · 13/02/2023 13:49

It would be during the half term & on a weekend day if that helps!

OP posts:
dolorsit · 13/02/2023 13:49

Quick comment- some schools run revision sessions during the May half-term. On occasion my school framed these as being compulsory (I know legally they are not but if you have a very "conformist" child they can get very stressed as missing stuff the school says they MUST do)

Clymene · 13/02/2023 13:50

No, please wait a year. Then you get the date you want and you won't ruin her chance of good grades through being distracted.

You've waited 7 years, you can wait another.

Original poster
RoseyPosey78 · 13/02/2023 13:50

@dolorsit that is a very useful point thank you!

OP posts:
neslop · 13/02/2023 13:51

Have you asked her how she feels about it?

Clymene · 13/02/2023 13:51

Or get married this year?

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