Wedding during GCSE period

[RoseyPosey78]

After a very long engagement (7 years!) DP & I are finally booking our wedding for next year. We have always wanted to get married in June as our unofficial anniversary is in this month. However, DSD will be taking her GCSE's next year and they fall over May-June time! Do you think AIBU to to think she will be ok for one day and it won't disrupt her too much? I am happy to go into July as obviously I'd rather she do as well as she can but just wondered what people's thoughts are as the June date has a lot of sentimental value for us?! We're looking at the May half term to give her space around the day if that helps?

You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful person.

As a parent who has done the GCSE thing twice now, can I just say that for a child with any academic aspirations at all, the lead up becomes pretty much all consuming. Not saying that’s healthy. But thats kind of how it rolls.

Having supported your DSD so well, I’d really leave the wedding till last week June/early July.

All the best.

I was a very academic minded and also anxious teenager so that would have been really difficult and disruptive for me at that age. Other kids are fine. You know her better than us but, to be on the safe side, you should just leave it until July really.

Nope this is one of those times where the kids absolutely come front and centre. No major distractions that can easily be put back by just a few weeks.

I'm a super laid back type normally, but with GCSE's this summer it's just case of deferring to the school who have already done so much by putting on revision clinics to give the kids their best chance.

I think this is one of those times you need to prioritise your child’s future and let her sit her GCSEs without distractions! Unless it’s once her exams are finished and won’t take her away from revision.

I agree.

Just have it end of June or July or do it the year after.

Your child’s education should be prioritised.
It won’t take anything away from your special day.

I think your focus should be on dsd for that period rather than focusing on your wedding which will inevitably take priority. It’ll be a distraction. I just don’t get why you’d plan this but obviously others have different perspectives.

exams are normally pretty full on in the two weeks before and two weeks after half term.

for her benefit, I would avoid these periods and as others have said there are often revision sessions at half term.

obviously one day is one day, but normally weddings involve more than one day.

late June/early July could be a great solution

its Not dd getting married?? Op said all she has to do is get her nails done? It doesn’t sound like a 6 days off work jobby?
someone on here already put in something like ‘has to have a shower and other pre wedding events’ - perhaps some of the events such as ‘having a shower’ could be skipped if the are too onerous.
It will do dd the world of good to have a welcome break, also she is presumable at least 15, you could ask her OP and see if she is completely against it? Something like ‘we’re thinking of having it in June, how do you think it will make you feel? Do you think you will be able to squeeze in a shower? if not, no pressure we can skip that’
i think people have lost the plot on here. GCSEs mean hardly anything in the grand scheme of things. They don’t reflect everyone’s intelligence and even for academic people, they are rarely looked at after a levels. There are so many ways to feel rewarded and realise how lucky you are in life other than sitting a series of mindless exams.
i would have hated for my parents to have put the pressure on me some of the posters on here are suggesting.

I wouldn't do it to her. Seems very unkind.

It's not a question of piling on pressure so much as respecting that GCSE's are important and giving her the best chance.

If she chooses to sod about and not revise that's a bloody horrid envelope to open in august.

As her parents you just have to give her her best chance, without missing the chance to get just a bit more done.

It's not like GCSE and A level are a galloping shock to being a parent. It's a solid gold fact of life.

No, you absolutely cannot do this. She’ll need all the time to revise - DS did his last year.
just wait - they’ll b finished by 26th June.

Is she taking any BTEC or Cambridge Nationals or just GCSEs?

On this thread, 'pressure from parents' seems to mean expecting your child to put what you want over their academic achievements. It's wild.

You don't know what actual day her exams will be on....you could put your wedding on an exam day - what are you going to do then?
Sorry I think that you need to put her exams first there is going to be stress in the house you are being a bit naive to think its only going to be one day out of her exam prep.

Dd doing GCSEs this year. They start 14th May and finish 28th June which is a back up day for major emergencies ie King dies or Granville tower type event. She has 1 to 2 exams every day for most of that period 10 GCSE'S. Last exam is further maths on I think the 21st. If you are doing it may half term it would need to be the first not second weekend and the first.week back is very heavy with maths English and science I think assuming they have had a week off. Dd has 2 exams on the Friday pre half term too. TBH I think you are being a bit unfair and would wait till July or the following year.

And I'm not sure if I'm being very avant garde or very old fashioned to think that crucial exams like GCSEs and A levels are the key moments in a child's life when the whole family should revolve around supporting them to achieve. That's what happened when I was a teenager and it's what I'm doing now my children are teenagers.

Just tonadd if you look at the posters saying wait all have GCSE age kids who have done them recently. They changed about 5 years ago to more memory based tests. Wrong if you ask me but that's what it is. They do count most 6 th forms look at them for a level admittance.No grade 6 and you can't do maths etc. Unis also consider them especially for more competitive courses.

It’s what one would wish for every child, @Clymene .

MN is certainly a learning experience …

Go. Into. July.
if she doesn’t do well you will forever wonder if it was the disruption you caused because of your own sentimental needs.
what about her future sentimental needs?

I agree.

So it's happening in a holiday period? If so she is not missing an exam so I don't see the issue

But even if not holidays if not missing an actual exam again no issue

I think exams should be taken very seriously but kids should still have normal life, the world doesn't stop for exams

Sorry this is a daft response because the exams affect what 6th form school they can apply to - for some kids their grades mean the different from staying in the school they going to or being asked to leave and go elsewhere. The results can also affect what uni's they apply to if thats what they want to do.

Yeah but if she is the kind of student that is going to do well, she will and if she is the kind of student that going to do poorly, she will. One night off isn’t going to ruin 16 years education?
No one ever was going to go to one college/sixth form, took one night off and then suddenly had to drop out or go to another. With some perspective, when she is at uni or in an apprenticeship she is never going to look back and think ‘if only I hadn’t had that one night off, my life would have been so different’
People (including me) might look back and think I wish I wasn’t such a tear away for my entire secondary school, but you’re absolutely bonkers if you think one night is gonna make ´all the différence’

Late June is probably fine - most exams are usually done by about 23rd, although there's usually a contingency day right at the end of the month before which they shouldn't go away. If there are only a couple of papers left, then a Saturday off shouldn't be an issue.

The weekend at the start of half-term is probably fine too - a day or two off then is probably a good idea.

That's all assuming it's just a day you're talking about - we didn't go to a relative's wedding the half-term of DD's GCSEs because it involved flights and so probably at least 3 days. In fact, we could have gone, as DD was quite relaxed about the exams, but we didn't know that when we needed to decide.

Whether it's unfair to have all the wedding prep going on at the same time as GCSEs probably depends on where she's based. If she lives with you most of the time, that might be difficult; if she's just with you for some weekends, you can probably keep the wedding prep lower key.

DS is 16 on the day of one of his exams. In our family (admittedly weird) that's a Big Birthday. So it's been re-scheduled to the same day in June when the GCSE's are done.

He's totally cool with it given his A level choice hinges on it.

After this year GCSE results cease to matter in many subjects, but when it comes to the choices they get to make next then that's all that matters.

Mine is just about to do her GCSE's.

She needs me a lot more that I thought she would. Re-assurance. Reading out science tests. Making sure she stops for a break. Buying revision books. She is keen to do well- and my main job is to help and support her.

In addition, she is doing 2 practical exams (art and music) and these are taking up hours and hours at the moment. Sunday she spent 10 hours working on her art book. Her friend has just done their Catering practical- they spent many, many hours working on this.

So, I suppose what I'm saying is, it isn't just one day. And, planning a wedding is hard. It can be all consuming if you let it. (I work in a wedding venue) Don't under estimate how much time you will be spent sorting out your guests. If she is keen to be involved, then- that's also a lot of time. It obviously depends on the size of your wedding etc- some are more simple than others.