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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people outsource life

370 replies

ExistenceOptional · 13/02/2023 12:36

Some outsourcing of life is fairly normal. Using some childcare, having a weekly cleaner for those who can afford it, dog walkers, etc. But there comes a point where people seem to outsource a lot of life that is not work.

So people who have several nannies so the child is only brought to them for the fun bits of life. Having firms in to decorate your house for Christmas and put up a tree. Having staff to plan, organise and run your child's birthday party with you just showing up to welcome parents and smile as you watch. Having staff to choose and buy your kids Christmas presents.

I used to nanny for families like this and I think you just end up outsourcing life outside of work. Trying to live a personal life like this must be really unfulfilling.

OP posts:
Daizie · 13/02/2023 12:37

If these people have plenty of money and don't want to do these tasks themselves what's the problem?

KangarooKenny · 13/02/2023 12:38

If they can afford it, why not ? They are providing employment.

OhMyBleedingHeart · 13/02/2023 12:39

I don't know why you'd think this is unfulfilling. If I had the money I'd do the same.

If they were unfulfilled them maybe they'd stop paying for it but it clearly works. I doubt they outsource everything just the bits they don't want to do.

Sucessinthenewyear · 13/02/2023 12:39

What wrong with someone else organising your child’s birthday party? I would happily do that if I had the money.

Sirzy · 13/02/2023 12:39

Each to their own surely. If people can afford it and others are happy to do it then where is the issue?

bringincrazyback · 13/02/2023 12:39

YABU and judgemental. There might be all sorts of reasons why people haven't got the time, energy or even health to do these things themselves.

Workjobfind · 13/02/2023 12:40

I'd outsource as much as possible if I could afford it. The kids? Not so much but every other aspect of life, sure!

Makemetry · 13/02/2023 12:40

I have also nannies for people like this. They fill their life with other activities that they want to prioritise. It also takes quite a bit of organisation just to get the people to do the decorations or the cooking, driving, gardening whatever. You end up running your life like a small business.

OhMyBleedingHeart · 13/02/2023 12:40

I would love to waltz into my child's party that I decided on to have it - without having to do it! I don't know what the downside is supposed to be?

Original poster
ExistenceOptional · 13/02/2023 12:41

My point is outsourcing the bits you do not want to do just leads to an unfulfilling personal life. You can't just play with your child for half an hour a day and then read them a story once staff have them tucked up in bed and settled down to listen, and have a meaningful deep relationship. It is curating life experiences in a very false way.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 13/02/2023 12:41

I don't think there are any rules about which bits of life you have to cherish.

I hate cleaning and would happily outsource every bit of it if I could. It adds nothing to me life.

I love planning birthday parties and Christmas decorations, but I understand that not everyone does.

The people you are talking about, they are still living. They haven't ceased to exist. Their life is just different to yours. There's no reason to think they are less happy.

Original poster
ExistenceOptional · 13/02/2023 12:42

Makemetry · 13/02/2023 12:40

I have also nannies for people like this. They fill their life with other activities that they want to prioritise. It also takes quite a bit of organisation just to get the people to do the decorations or the cooking, driving, gardening whatever. You end up running your life like a small business.

I agree. Although the richest hire housekeepers or similar to do this job as well.

OP posts:
Thepurplelantern · 13/02/2023 12:43

Yes the royal family appear to do this and people don’t seem to have a problem with them……..

Takemehomeagain · 13/02/2023 12:44

I think it depends on what the task is. I don't like gardening and I am fairly poor at it so I pay a gardener. It's a treat to myself plus if I am short of money it makes more sense to pick up an extra shift at work. Something I like doing and I'm good at. I like my job though so that helps. Childcare is essential to most families but I like to be there for my children and pets as much as possible.

Makemetry · 13/02/2023 12:44

If you have several or very large properties then you need to hire as estate manager. The mega rich run full family offices to oversee their property and financial interests.

underneaththeash · 13/02/2023 12:45

Different people enjoy doing different parts of life though.

Outsourcing a children's party for example often makes it more enjoyable for everyone surely (and I run a children's group!)

takealettermsjones · 13/02/2023 12:45

I love decorations but I'm not very artistically minded so I'd love to have someone else come and decorate my house for Christmas (and then take it all down again in the new year)! Bliss.

Also not being funny but if I could hire a nanny for five minutes a day, morning and night, just to brush my toddler's teeth so I didn't have to do it, I totally would.

harrassedmumto3 · 13/02/2023 12:45

Sounds pretty fucking good to me Grin

DrMarciaFieldstone · 13/02/2023 12:46

Each to their own.

You sound jealous, tbh.

I’d love to outsource petty life admin if I could

KangarooKenny · 13/02/2023 12:46

harrassedmumto3 · 13/02/2023 12:45

Sounds pretty fucking good to me Grin

I agree, where do I sign up for it ? 🤣

ThatWardrobe · 13/02/2023 12:46

I've just booked a birthday party for my dd and they come and entertain, provide the food, etc. It's amazing, because we'll actually get to spend time with her and see her face and reactions rather than running round a village hall like a blue arsed fly, not seeing her at all. We've done both types of parties, and I think this is a bad example of what you mean.

xogossipgirlxo · 13/02/2023 12:47

It's about choice isn't it. If people can afford it and want to, why not. I know I don't want superb career, I'd rather look after my family, and I take it. Less money, but more time to do it myself. Each to their own.

Original poster
ExistenceOptional · 13/02/2023 12:47

Makemetry · 13/02/2023 12:44

If you have several or very large properties then you need to hire as estate manager. The mega rich run full family offices to oversee their property and financial interests.

True. It is why Charles when he was Prince had 150 staff.

OP posts:
Anyotherdude · 13/02/2023 12:48

Maybe it’s their way of providing employment opportunities? I mean, if I suddenly came into a lot of money I would employ local people to cook, clean, garden Etc. when I move to my mansion in the country!

butterfliedtwo · 13/02/2023 12:48

I'd absolutely love outsourcing the boring bits of life. I promise you my life wouldn't be unfulfilled.