To think some people outsource life

[ExistenceOptional]

Some outsourcing of life is fairly normal. Using some childcare, having a weekly cleaner for those who can afford it, dog walkers, etc. But there comes a point where people seem to outsource a lot of life that is not work.

So people who have several nannies so the child is only brought to them for the fun bits of life. Having firms in to decorate your house for Christmas and put up a tree. Having staff to plan, organise and run your child's birthday party with you just showing up to welcome parents and smile as you watch. Having staff to choose and buy your kids Christmas presents.

I used to nanny for families like this and I think you just end up outsourcing life outside of work. Trying to live a personal life like this must be really unfulfilling.

If it made their lives unfulfilling I'm sure they wouldn't do it though.

My aunt is extremely wealthy and has basically done this - nannies and boarding school for the kids, cooks and cleaners, gardeners, groundskeepers etc. All the boring, tedious or tiresome parts of life outsourced to other people so she could focus entirely on the parts she enjoys. That sounds quite fulfilling to me. I wish I could afford to have done the same with a lot of it.

She has a great adult relationship with her children and has had an extremely fulfilling life from what I can see. Happy marriage, rich and varied friendships, lots of travel, time to learn to speak four languages and learn several interesting skills, plays lots of instruments, paints, dances etc. Fit as a fiddle because she also has a PT. Just a generally happy, healthy, mentally nourished person.

But no you're absolutely right, the daily drudge is what makes life fulfilling. Definitely. Absolutely. You're not envious at all, you're fulfilled.

I haven't said LTB, @Mothership4two

I agree with you. I grew up like this and the house manager was in charge of my life plus just when I got close to the nannies they would be replaced... Parents waltzed in and out with fun times like a fairytale but I was always anxious to be on my best behaviour so they would stay longer before getting sick of me and handing me off to the nannies

@rubberduckiee I am sorry that was your childhood.

It just comes down to the tasks people enjoy.

I have no interest in home decor. I'd jump at the chance for someone to swoop in and choose all my furnishings, accessories, decor. Obviously some people would hate that.

But I love food shopping and cooking, so wouldn't want to relinquish control there.

What people value and prioritise won't be the same.

I also missed out on a lot of fun daily activities my kids now have like chores (not fun for kids above a certain age, but little kids love to feel important and useful!), decorating the Xmas tree together... When professional employees are tasked to do these things, they just want the kids out of the way. Even creating art with our nannies, the art couldn't be too shit as they would be shown to our parents

But if you were applying for the outsoucing job, great initative!

Speak for yourself! I enjoy spending time with my kid so probably wouldn’t outsource their care beyond the bare minimum required but everything else I would happily pay someone else to take care of! Especially Xmas decorations which I loathe.

Currently considering whether it’s possible to hire a cleaner/cook/housekeeper to come to my house for an hour a day Mon-Fri to sort my life out but doesn’t seem to be a service that’s offered in my area.

Nannies don't let kids create shit art?

I don't enjoy doing the tree but the kids love it. I agree about standards because I accepted when the kids were very young that the tree would look a bit shit. But it did not matter, the kids had decorated it.

I was outsourcing your MN posts on your behalf @follyfoot37 😃

Generally, people who do this have busy lives.

They buy in the boring stuff so they have time left for the bits they & their kids will enjoy.

Kids don't grow up remembering you scrambling round the kitchen trying to remember where you put the serving dishes to put their party food on, or dashing to the shops to get the bits that didn't turn up in the online shop.

They remember the actual party & if you were there or not.

If you are in the kitchen trying to deal with an orange squash emergency & trying to find the lighter for the candles, you are not there.

There is nothing wrong with not outsourcing these things, but when you earn the sort of money that means it is cheaper to hire someone (& you don't have to do the boring bits) than to take an hour off work to do it, why wouldn't you?

Your kids get you without the stress, a small company stays in business so their family can pay their bills & the kid gets a nice party.

Me too, @Fladdermus

Strange thread where the OP is concerned that rich people who opt out of drudgery tasks are ‘unfulfilled 😂’

Ive nannied too, i know exactly what you mean.

I think it depends. I quite enjoy "domestic tasks" but also my DP is able to cook/clean/iron etc - I think if I was doing it ALL all of the time I'd get a bit fed up of it!

I agree re childcare though. I used to be a childminder years ago as well as a nanny, and the parents couldn't understand why, when they only spent max 30 mins with their kids a day (if that), the kids didn't have a relationship with them. They'd also be annoyed when the kids acted up as it was like "I've not seen you and this is how you treat me?" Even though the kids would be exhausted and genuinely didn't know their parents well enough to have any kind of bond or relationship with them. Really sad and not uncommon where I live.

Thanks. It is kind of hard to explain.

I just outsource:

Cleaning
Ironing
Gardening
Windows
Occasional catering
Christmas trees

DC are grown up and we only had an au-pair. Sadly not quite rich enough.

Sounds amazing, I think many would take this option, if they had the money to do so.

My sister in law is the outsourcing Queen. She's doing up her house ATM and has hired someone to shop for her. She sends pictures of door handles she likes for example and the woman she's hired finds and buys them.
I don't get it but she's not hurting anyone.

Trying to live a personal life like this must be really unfulfilling.

On the contrary, I think it's more fulfilling for those who enjoy it. People doing only what they want to do in life as opposed to what they have to do or what a stranger thinks they should?

Why would that be unfulfilling?

They're having a ball and I hope you don't secretly begrudge that while making yourself feel better by believing they must be unfulfilled.

Yes! Thank you. You have the job.

I see what you are saying. I’d hate to be rich, to be honest. Folk mentioning the Royals. But look at what’s happened with Harry...

I would probably have said YABU if I hadn't worked for a family like this, the mum was a director of a management consultancy (megabucks) and dad was also in management somewhere, they would leave for work at about 7am and sometimes return at 10 pm so would hardly see the kids and when the kids were around, and clearly desperate for affection from them/playing with them they were irritated with them after 5 minutes. It was sad to see and made me question why they'd wanted kids.

When we lived in a developing country we had quite a lot of help, live in maid, gardener, male outside worker, party planners etc.
My life was a lot more meaningful without so much drudgery.
The time I spent with my kids was playing with them, rather than cleaning their rooms while they watched tv.
My life was making friends, attending social events, reading books and the like. Honestly it was bloody great.

Huge, sweeping generalisations.

We'd like to think that the 1% are all dysfunctional 'Succession' type families - it makes us all feel they're secretly weeping into their millions.

But there is dysfunction in all walks of life. Including those who spend plenty of time with their kids, performing each mind numbing task laboriously themselves then resenting their offspring for insufficient gratitude.