To think some people outsource life

[ExistenceOptional]

Some outsourcing of life is fairly normal. Using some childcare, having a weekly cleaner for those who can afford it, dog walkers, etc. But there comes a point where people seem to outsource a lot of life that is not work.

So people who have several nannies so the child is only brought to them for the fun bits of life. Having firms in to decorate your house for Christmas and put up a tree. Having staff to plan, organise and run your child's birthday party with you just showing up to welcome parents and smile as you watch. Having staff to choose and buy your kids Christmas presents.

I used to nanny for families like this and I think you just end up outsourcing life outside of work. Trying to live a personal life like this must be really unfulfilling.

Wrong kind of outsourcing to consider wrong.

So called Disney dads or those who have no part in their child’s upbringing deserve criticism. Not getting a cleaner or someone for organising a birthday party.

You presumably looked around and decided with your child what kind of party. What food. Who to invite. What kind of invitations to use. What birthday presents to buy your daughter. You will be there at the whole party.
You have not outsourced the party completely, you have some help.

We were chatting about the relationship between grandparents and kids in various families recently.
Everyone felt the bond was strongest between the female grandparent and the kids and it was because of the little things - the snacks, the mental load, the attention to detail. The Women seemed to get top billing in the who's house type terminology.
The kids easily spot a Disney Grandpa event, it's the little stuff that builds a deeper relationship.
So effectively the senior men have outsourced the work to the women and the kids know that and focus on the women. (Obviously lots of stereotypes & generalising there, but it was interesting how common across families)

But these parents do end up being Disney dads, both the mum and dad.

I didnt quite understand what you meant in your title. This isnt outsourcing life. Its just getting help and why not if you can afford it. People with plenty of money doing their own decorating and cleaning drive me mad. I mean why would you.

@Enviromont I agree. It is the little things that build relationships. The everyday things.

I guess I outsource parts of my life involving anything practical maintenance-wise around the house. I don't want to do it myself, I am no good at it and I have the money to pay other people to do it for me. I don't feel I am missing out on life at all, rather removing stress and giving myself more time to focus on the things that matter to me.

Meh, we aren’t exactly rich but when we both worked FT we outsourced cleaning, gardening, childcare and dog walking. Had groceries delivered and used hello fresh/gousto.

frankly with 4 DC and two very demanding jobs, it would have been impossible to live well without doing this, and it improved our lives no end!

I work PT from home now though so far less outsourcing is required…

I outsource loads of stuff….

window cleaning
house cleaning
bin cleaning
ironing (although very recently started doing this myself)
gardening
car cleaning
decorating

Sounds like jealousy to me, if I had the money I would outsource anything I don't enjoy.
In my head I'd still want to 'raise' my children, but I'm not sure not outsourcing the birthday party, having a nanny to do the dreaded school run ect really equates to not raising them.
I suspect Will & Kate have access to all of the above but also think they are rasing their children.

It is a bit lazy, but I think it de-skills some people, so if that's what they want to pay for, then let them get on with it.

It's when they judge your messy house, lifestyle, your kids, or what you are wearing when you dont have a whole team of staff to run your life like they do that bothers me. People like that can feck off.

I'm someone who doesn't understand why you would pay someone to do something you are able to do yourself though.

If you haven’t experienced it how on earth can you say what is or isn’t fulfilling?

If I had the money I'd outsource cooking and driving. It would be lovely to have all my meals cooked for me and a permanently employed chauffeur. I pay someone else to clean and garden.

I don't understand people who treat having kids as yet another "task" and don't actually do any of the work to bring them up. They won't have a good relationship with each other and they're the kind of people who try to "buy" everything just because they can afford it. Give me all the money in the world and I wouldn't change how I'm bringing up my kid. And yes I am judgemental about it because I dislike shallow, materialistic people like this.

Because life happens in the mundane moments.

Also it is not jealousy! I understand the importance of being there for my children during ordinary life.

Time is a gift. If I could outsource housework/life admin etc I absolutely would because it would give me the time and space to do what I really wanted - which would only improve my life.

I have a neighbour who outsources everything and she still "struggles".

Not sure why she had several kids tbh.

I agree with this.

It depends what you find fulfilling. And organising a kids' party isn't really 'life', it's one of the boring tasks that come with being a parent. If someone else will do it better, for money, why not?

Here here!

@TheFretfulPorpentine I want to be involved in what kind of birthday party my child has. The theme, food, where it happens, who is invited, etc.

If it was that fulfilling it wouldnt be outsourced though would it. You dont outsource your tv watching.

I enjoy buts of organising kids parties but it's mostly a chore.

And whilst the constant nanny thing isnt for me, it's not social services worthy and probably how they were brought up. Look at Rees-Mogg, he clearly loved being nannied and has employed the same one for his kids, i bet she is like family to them.

Did you know, OP, that cows have been observed to rota childcare? A different cow every day staying with the calves whilst the rest go to the water, as the water is often where predators attack?

It's been the norm throughout human history that life's burdens have been shared by the village. In fact, it's very much an aberration from the norm to expect one small family unit to manage everything with no support.

@RealBecca Obviously social services are not going to be involved if children are being brought up by nannies.

I'd outsource everything if I could afford it. I'd feel quite fulfilled doing fuck all all day. It's what I aspire to do.