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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why the hell do some parents do this?

444 replies

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 19:39

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

OP posts:
louise5754 · 11/02/2023 19:41

Oh got I hate noisy kids. I can't cope with my own shouting or singing.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 11/02/2023 19:42

That sounds very annoying 😒

BeautifulDragon · 11/02/2023 19:42

They probably thought it cute and/ or funny.

gelatogina · 11/02/2023 19:43

That would have ruined it for me. No consideration for others…

Overthebow · 11/02/2023 19:44

YANBU. They shouldn't have taken their kid their if she couldn't be quiet. I have a toddler and I would never take her to somewhere like that. Although I would have thought a 5 year old would know not to do that.

edwinbear · 11/02/2023 19:44

When ours were that young, we stuck to family restaurants where there were usually lots of noisy kids. I’d not have taken them to a ‘fancy’ restaurant where people were spending a lot.

TonTonMacoute · 11/02/2023 19:44

Lord knows! It wouldn't be my idea of a fun meal out if I was the parent in that scenario.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 19:44

See @louise5754 , I am usually quite laid back about it but in a place where lunch is going to cost £60 - 70 minimum before drinks I really think they should have shut her up. Or left. Or not gone. Which would be sad for them, but why should everyone else suffer through it. I am genuinely curious to hear from some of the people posting this is unreasonable.

OP posts:
WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 11/02/2023 19:44

If it bothered you that much why didn't you speak to the manager?

I wouldn't let mine, but other peoples don't bother me, as long as I'm
mot responsible for them

2bazookas · 11/02/2023 19:45

I'd have asked the head waiter to deal with the nuisance.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 19:45

Voting, not posting

OP posts:
jtaeapa · 11/02/2023 19:46

Crap behaviour for a posh place like that. If they were part of a large group, I wonder whether one of them just didn't want to be there and didn't give a shit about making a scene.

Endlesssummer2022 · 11/02/2023 19:48

I would have asked one of the staff to go and have a word. Completely unacceptable.

MaryShelley1818 · 11/02/2023 19:48

Absolutely ridiculous (them not you). So inconsiderate. My 5yr old has his faults but absolutely knows how to behave in a restaurant and wouldn't even go on like that in a McDonald's. No matter what it costs you should be mindful of others.

VivaVivaa · 11/02/2023 19:49

I have a 3 yo who (thankfully) is generally very good when eating out. I still wouldn’t entertain this sort of place as appropriate to take him, just in case he decides this is the time to kick off. If we fail at a meal out in a pub or family friendly restaurant it’s annoying but so be it…a high end restaurant thats cost both us and other guests 100s of pounds? No thanks!

LindorDoubleChoc · 11/02/2023 19:49

You have to remember that for some people eating in an extremely fancy restaurant is just their every day experience. It isn't special to them, it isn't something they've saved up for and looked forward to, it's just a run of the mill meal out.

But YANBU op, I can't tolerate that sort of noise in my local greasy spoon! Parents can be utterly clueless sometimes.

PegSliderskew · 11/02/2023 19:52

I was on the train recently- it was packed and across from me were a dad, his daughter and her friend. They were a bit excited and giggly, but only about 9 and obviously only just out of afterschool club so probably overtired as well. Quite sweet really.

Then the train stopped in a tunnel. For 40 minutes. And for the entire time the girls were allowed to practise a long clapping rhyme neither of them could actually finish. The entire time, over and over and over again. I went from thinking 'he'll tell them to quieten down in a minute', through 'how the hell can he just pretend he hasn't noticed' to being fascinated about how long he could keep ignoring them. I think the rest of the carriage were in a similar position- we started off feeling that it would be mean to say anything to a pair of tired little girls and then it tipped over to the point where it would be embarrassing to say something after so long.

Anyway, if anyone wants to practice a clapping rhyme about a lady with a big, fat bum who can wiggle, she can waggle, she can even do the splits, hit me up. I'm an expert now. And if you get it wrong, you're not my friend.

badgergirly · 11/02/2023 19:54

Why didn't you ask to be moved?

Wonnle · 11/02/2023 19:59

I'd have tipped it bollocks and walked out !

jacult · 11/02/2023 20:00

Could be as a PP said that it was a run of the mill restaurant for them, or they’ve been bought it as a treat and it’s something they’ve looked forward to and don’t have any childcare. Yeah, it’s not ideal, but not sure what the restaurant policy would be? Sounds tough for them as one parent was taking out the other child so they were probably doing all they could to just have a nice meal, but it doesn’t make it a great experience for anybody else. Saying that, we went out for lunch today with our toddler, who was too busy gobbling food to be a bother, but the table next to us were so annoying. 10 people (think it was a hen do), but they were so loud and piercing. Don’t think they were drunk, but just they’re usual speaking voices, couldn’t tell if they were arguing or that’s just how they spoke to each other!!

doadeer · 11/02/2023 20:02

Agree. Family friendly Italians etc are for children who want to be loud

MysteryBelle · 11/02/2023 20:06

The parents should have told her it is impolite to behave that way. So you’re not being unreasonable. Crying, singing, making noise, etc to be expected with children and doesn’t bother me really as I love children but—parents ought to be teaching children good manners appropriate to their age, should taken them out if the disruption is ongoing. That is just common courtesy for others. Or should be.

Wonnle · 11/02/2023 20:06

jacult · 11/02/2023 20:00

Could be as a PP said that it was a run of the mill restaurant for them, or they’ve been bought it as a treat and it’s something they’ve looked forward to and don’t have any childcare. Yeah, it’s not ideal, but not sure what the restaurant policy would be? Sounds tough for them as one parent was taking out the other child so they were probably doing all they could to just have a nice meal, but it doesn’t make it a great experience for anybody else. Saying that, we went out for lunch today with our toddler, who was too busy gobbling food to be a bother, but the table next to us were so annoying. 10 people (think it was a hen do), but they were so loud and piercing. Don’t think they were drunk, but just they’re usual speaking voices, couldn’t tell if they were arguing or that’s just how they spoke to each other!!

Hell is other people !

It's experiences like this that really put me off going places

MissingNightshades · 11/02/2023 20:08

PegSliderskew · 11/02/2023 19:52

I was on the train recently- it was packed and across from me were a dad, his daughter and her friend. They were a bit excited and giggly, but only about 9 and obviously only just out of afterschool club so probably overtired as well. Quite sweet really.

Then the train stopped in a tunnel. For 40 minutes. And for the entire time the girls were allowed to practise a long clapping rhyme neither of them could actually finish. The entire time, over and over and over again. I went from thinking 'he'll tell them to quieten down in a minute', through 'how the hell can he just pretend he hasn't noticed' to being fascinated about how long he could keep ignoring them. I think the rest of the carriage were in a similar position- we started off feeling that it would be mean to say anything to a pair of tired little girls and then it tipped over to the point where it would be embarrassing to say something after so long.

Anyway, if anyone wants to practice a clapping rhyme about a lady with a big, fat bum who can wiggle, she can waggle, she can even do the splits, hit me up. I'm an expert now. And if you get it wrong, you're not my friend.

OMG that sounds horrific, they'd be good used in interrogatiion methods.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/02/2023 20:10

YANBU but I would have asked to be moved or asked them direct to stop her - and if that didn’t work complained to the manager.

You have to be assertive, and these two clearly need telling.