Why the hell do some parents do this?

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

I think you’re been quite reasonable in expecting the parents to manage that situation.

I’m massively all for children co-existing with adults and adults needing to accept it, but within reasonable limits. As a parent you would never, ever take a child that young to the theatre for example, unless you knew they could behave in a way that’s appropriate to the situation, you’d take them to a kids show.

Same with this restaurant, I have a 4 year old who’s very, very well behaved most of the time, but she would try run riot in a restaurant so we go to places where it’s manageable and more socially acceptable with other families. Is the food great? No, but that’s what you need to do when you have kids.

What is actually wrong with you that you feel the need....🙄

Honestly, restaurants need to have zero tolerance for this. One warning, if happens again, even slightly, remove the perpetrators from the premises, physically if necessary.

Would your parents have let you do this in a nice restaurant at that age?

If you didn't say anything at the time why are you posted about it?

I don't think you are being unreasonable it would have annoyed me too but really don't get people bitching after the event when they didn't say or do anything about it at the time.

It's clearly not acceptable and the staff should have dealt with it

No boundaries. It's bad parenting and raising the kids to be inconsiderate of other people.

We go out a lot for food, it’s something we did all the time before children. We’ve been doing this since ours were a month old (so much easier then as you can just feed them whilst eating). We still go to similar places, but go at 3-4pm so a late lunch for us and dinner for them (that’s the time that have it at nursery). We’ve never really had an issue, obviously we don’t go for a 9pm sitting at a Michelin restaurant, but places like the Wolseley are great as they do service all day and it’s always a bubbly atmosphere.

I wouldn’t stop going to restaurants when they’re young as how will they learn? My parents did the same with us. I would obviously take them out if they were screaming/singing loudly/having a meltdown.

Given a voucher. You had been given a voucher.

'Gifted' is perfectly acceptable in this context.

“You have to remember that for some people eating in an extremely fancy restaurant is just their every day experience. It isn't special to them, it isn't something they've saved up for and looked forward to, it's just a run of the mill meal out.”

I agree with this. Also, people have vastly different standards about what is acceptable levels of noise, etc.

I’ve not voted as I don’t think you should let your kid do this, regardless of whether you’re paying £70 per meal in a fancy restaurant or £10 per meal in a pub.

They don’t own the place and of course children will be more disruptive than if it was an adult only place but I just think that sort of behaviour should have been stopped immediately.
It’s just crap/entitled parenting.

Can't vote as on the app. However that's terrible behaviour from the 5/6 yr old. I have 2 that age. They would not behave like that and I wouldn't allow it. It's inconsiderate to everyone else there regardless of whether it's a pub or a posh restaurant

YANBU. DH and I went for a special anniversary lunch at a michelin starred restaurant recently. It was very unusual and special for us, and cost more than we've ever spent on a meal. We sorted childcare for our kids, only to find a toddler shrieking their way through a frozen singalong on a tablet at the table next to us. The parents just smirked adoringly at each of the "peak" noise moments, with clearly zero appreciation for the fact that no one else found it remotely adorable. Totally with you.

I would probably have sung loudly and badly along with her. It would certainly get the message across. However my family don’t like me doing things like that 🤣

It's not hard to manage kids in public. It's called teaching them to be aware of their surroundings and have respect for other people.

Might it be worth contacting the restaurant?

I’d probably write a letter, explaining how much I loved the food, saying that the service had been excellent, but that unfortunately the experience was badly affected by the behaviour of someone else’s child.

Just occasionally, a polite complaint can result in a positive result. They might offer a discount if you return, for example. Worth a try?

Unfortunately, the parents probably thought their daughter’s singing was adorable, and that all the strangers in the restaurant would think it adorable too….parents quite often fail to read the room in these situations.

Yep annoying! I’ve taken my kids to posh-ish restaurants as newborns but both were babies who had quiet cries, and would instantly stop when attached to my boob. Now they are older I have resigned myself to only visiting harvester or Nando’s until they move out or (joy of all joys) we have some child free time

Delighted I gave you the opportunity to correct me, I hope it brightened your day.

The parents won't even hear it anymore. One of my friends kids is so loud and it's like white noise to her. I would have said something to either the staff or the parents

DCs do not belong in a fancy place like that until early teens at least IMHO. If DH have gone to the expense of paying for a fancy meal and arranging someone to care for the DCs and that happened to us, we would be fucking raging! YANBU @Atethehalloweenchocs

I think some people become quite immune to certain noises when they live with them. Babies crying. Children's chattering. Loud music. Dogs barking.

They’re not paying?
take your child out if they’re being noisy. Or don’t take them into that environment?
or maybe think..,,

😂 absolutely agree with you! But ‘physically’ removed might not go down well. It would definitely be splashed on the front page of the DM the next day, complete with sad faces…..

It’s not really about the venue, it’s just shit parenting full stop. Nobody reasonable expects kids to be out of earshot for a two hour meal, but an hour of loud singing in a shared indoor space isn’t on.