Why the hell do some parents do this?

[Atethehalloweenchocs]

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

Jesus Christ.

I agree, going out is a pleasure for all and it should be respected.

I think my worse experience was in a restaurant and there was a family with a large group of tween girls with them. They all decided to keep changing their ring tones and trying out different ones. It was so unnecessary and annoying.

The waiter eventually had to ask them to stop

I would have expected the management to have a quiet word with the parents

And this is why I don’t go out to eat at fancy restaurants. I’d love to but there are too many entitled parents around these days and restaurants pander to them far too much due to fear of social media retribution.

@PegSliderskew I know EXACTLY the one you’re talking about! 😂 it’s annoying enough from my own child so I can only imagine your hell!

Yes the management should have handled it. You should also have mentioned it to them.

It seemed like lazy parenting. Or general not giving a crap about anyone else. really the same line over and over again for an hour and it didn't occur to you the little girl may be autistic or have Sanfilllipo syndrome or any number of disabilities?

I was taken to very posh restaurants from a very young age, and if we had ever sung twice, we would have been whisked out of the restaurant faster than anything. Once, an admonishment; twice, out the door.

I am very well-adjusted, adore my parents, and love fine dining. This is obviously just terrible parenting.

However, it's also the restaurant's job to step in. "I'm sorry, sir, but the noise is disturbing other diners." That's all. Not hard. Terrible management on their part, too.

Yes, much more likely that a child has an extremely rare metabolism disorder than is engaging in normal kid behaviour. This is MN after all.

I was just about to say something similar! I'm a parent, have 2 young kids, we go for 'posh' 'high end' meals, it's hard to keep them entertained, they may be loud at times, they may be annoying, but how else are they suppose to learn how to behave in such places if they are not allowed to go?

Don't care if people think we are entitled, I want my kids to experience everything and I'll continue to go! :)

I have a 4.5 yo who also lives Frozen and loves to sing very loudly, sometimes in public. We would never take her somewhere like you describe, not least because it's way out of our price range. Nevertheless, I reminded her to quiten down when she started shouting loudly with her friend of the same age in a busy Macdonald's! To which she was a bit sheepish, apologised and then quietened down. And I explained why - that people are trying to enjoy eating their lunch and they are being disturbed by the noise. If she had continued to cause a problem - which she wouldn't, she's not too big a problem eating out these days, but if she was, I would have threatened to leave if she'd continued being a nuisance and I would follow through if that didn't change anything. It's not ok to have a child belting out songs or shouting anywhere people are trying to eat tbh as it disturbs people. Children need to learn to be respectful and polite and what appropriate behaviour is in different settings.

Really? 😠

How are they ‘supposed to learn how to behave’? You bloody well tell them to stop being loud and sit nicely. You teach them respect for other people. Jeez - is this really beyond you?

Other peoples children don't bother me at all, I think it stresses me out so much when it's mine because I know people are judging and hating us so I feel flustered and I start to panic, other peoples kids can crack on because it's not my problem and I can quite easily block them out. Unless it's a sudden loud shriek that noise gets me every time. But yes I agree fancy restaurant really isn't the place. But you don't know the circumstances maybe it was a birthday maybe the child has additional needs you'll never know so a little grace maybe is in order.

It is just crap parenting because many children can behave in restaurants. It's not difficult to learn either.

Also maybe the child is usually well behaved and the behaviour was a reaction to being in an unfamiliar setting, my son is 8 and I can usually count on him to behave in places, but on occasion over the years he's caught me off guard and acted like a hooligan when I was 100% he'd behave like normal it's what kids too.

@MKD1 It doesn’t sound like you’re actually teaching them, though? But crack on with your need to #makememories.

Not necessarily always true, my daughter is almost 3 and has autism. It's not crap parenting that means she absolutely wouldn't behave in a restaurant (although I'd never take her somewhere fancy) hungry horse / beefeater will do us just fine. When she can't regulate herself I take her out to the play area most of these places have let her burn off some energy and try again. I really wish people would let brand all noisey children as the naughty off spring of crap parents. It's very unkind and disheartening to those people who are throwing everything they have into raising kind, considerate, happy humans

But even so the parents should have had some consideration for others.

Ds is autistic and one of the criteria when we go out to eat is somewhere not likely to be too noisy. Someone being allowed to sing the same line over and over like that would have left to us having to leave before he went into a meltdown (and shouted what everyone else would have been thinking!)

It’s probably the same ineffectual, ignorant parents who take their kids to the theatre and allow them to scream and bellow all through the show because “How else will they learn to behave if they have not had the experience?”
Bastards!! 🤬

This is not the child's fault. It is the parents. They decided not to be in charge. Because they are selfish.

Pity the kid. Such a child was probably bored.

I wouldnt let my kid do that anywhere. Disgraceful parenting on their part.

At least they can’t light up fags half way through the meal anymore now that was disgusting!

Sorry should have said cigarettes my teenager would kill me for using the f word for cigarettes.

For me it's adults drinking alcohol, getting louder and louder for every glass of wine, oblivious to everyone around them. So irritating and selfish. Children are still learning but adults are old enough to control themselves in a restaurant. Last night, we were seated next to a table of 6 women in their 40-50's at a very expensive restaurant. Not that the price makes any difference. They were speaking so loudly, shrieking with laughter, we couldn't hear each other. I wish their parents had been there to tell them to behave lol. I prefer going out early to avoid this behaviour and I'd take a little girl singing any day over this.

The other day I went to Nando's and was sat next to a table of 3 teenage boys (14ish) and their 30/40 year old mums... they were no bother at all untill of them frantically spilt their Fanta and it went all over us. No harm done though we laughed it off. Moral of the story other people exist. They're sometimes annoying, they sometimes ruin your day out. But that's life.