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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why the hell do some parents do this?

444 replies

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 19:39

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 15/02/2023 09:47

Nobody needs to “shush” anyone just ask for the noise t be kept down just as you would at work. Manners are made for this situation.

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 10:05

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 09:20

Oh stop being so dramatic! My pet crocodile is as quiet as a mouse. My Boa constrictor too.

And the relevance of reptiles to a discussion on parenting is what? You sound a bit confused.

Itisbetter · 15/02/2023 10:30

@countrygirl99 it was a joke, though actually crocs are quite noisy

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 10:45

I thought it was a school holiday response.

T1Dmama · 15/02/2023 10:58

Atethehalloweenchocs · 14/02/2023 17:03

For crying out loud - to all those who have made this about disability - kids like repetition - same stories over and over, same songs over and over. That is normal. She may have been ASD but she may equally well have not, and just trying to amuse herself. And her parents needed to help her balance that with disrupting others and they clearly did not give a shit. When did it get the norm that you can do disruptive or annoying behaviour until asked not to? Where is the personal fucking responsibility?

It is very clear there are many people who feel whatever their children do is ok. And that is fundamentally not ok. Not asking for perfect silence, children being seen not heard, not moving around - nothing like that. Just expect that if you have procreated yourself you will understand that part of your job as a parent is giving children the skills they need to function in the world and not expect it to revolve around them - and manners is part of this.

This is the common response nowadays
“they might have a learning disability’ etc…

This is the reason kids get away with murder these days…. Waiters terrified to ask a family to behave better encase they get some equality law preached at them….. but at the end of the day all kids can be taught to have an indoor voice and an outdoor voice… do people on here honestly believe that schools for children with learning difficulties allow kids to all sit and sing songs on repeat all day 😂

people defending this behaviour are the issue, these parents should’ve given the child something else to do.. we used to take toys or colouring with us and our child never annoyed anyone.

parents in general seem terrified to tell their kids off these days

AllOfThemWitches · 15/02/2023 11:24

This is the common response nowadays
“they might have a learning disability’ etc…

Yeah well tbh, if you see a kid 'misbehaving' in public, maybe you would do well to think there might be more to it. You sound more like the creature who remarked that she would have 'walloped' my kid when he was having a public meltdown though.

Itisbetter · 15/02/2023 11:37

Neurological difference and disorder ARE more common these days and we (in theory) are an inclusive society who don’t for example expect people with Tourette’s to stay out of the public eye (Nb for the aggressive, I am NOT suggesting this child had Tourette’s). More disabled people, more inclusion, more advocacy…you’ll encounter more.

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 12:18

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 10:45

I thought it was a school holiday response.

You were the one who started jabbering on about reptiles.

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 12:29

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 12:18

You were the one who started jabbering on about reptiles.

Ah, just spotted the auto correct
It's repetitive noises that are a well known torture technique

ellyeth · 15/02/2023 14:02

I think 40 minutes of a clapping game would be very annoying. By all means allow children to play games like that for a little while, but 40 minutes is unreasonable. What's wrong with a parent saying "that's enough now".

Spikeyball · 15/02/2023 14:20

"but at the end of the day all kids can be taught to have an indoor voice and an outdoor voice…"

No all kids cannot be taught that. I suppose you also think all kids can be taught to walk.

Hippoh · 15/02/2023 17:16

OMG... can't we just agree that other people's children are dicks. You don't know what the extenuating circumstances are, so quit judging.
Love you all xx

Hippoh · 15/02/2023 18:24

It is very clear that some parents seem to feel they need to have the world revolve around their wishes, But I would like to reiterate that:

Quote:
"Part of your job as a parent is giving children the skills they need to function in the world and not expect it to revolve around them - and manners is part of this".

So, how did your parent do??

Zipps · 15/02/2023 18:42

Very annoying.
I used to actually like children in general, but there are so many badly behaved ones now we avoid them as much as possible. We try to book adult only cruises and hotels now and go out of season long haul or city breaks where you don't get many.
We've been out for meals in more adult orientated places where dc are playing hide and seek under the table, dc jumping off beer garden tables, demanding, screaming etc and we now only go for meals on a school night.
It's a certain generation's/class spoiled dc bringing up their super spoiled brats. With hindsight it was bound to happen.

Hippoh · 15/02/2023 19:06

It's a certain generation's/class spoiled dc bringing up their super spoiled brats. With hindsight it was bound to happen...

The way this conversion has gone on, I am honestly scared for the next generation by these parents' behaviour/views. Not all obvs... But wow!
A lot of you need to have a word with yourself. X

TheFifthTellytubby · 15/02/2023 19:07

Allblackeverythingalways · 15/02/2023 08:26

Some parents get really aggressive if you shush the kids or comment (so a lot of people won't say anything unfortunately)
I honestly think the aggression and "I'd tell you to fuck off!" Is because they hate being made aware of their failings.
Your singing brat isn't cute. Parent your child ffs.

I once got told off by a mum for shushing her kid who was sitting near us and chattered constantly through a West End show performance. Apparently I was guilty of being "impatient". Well excuse me, I paid a lot of money for those tickets and wasn't going to sit "patiently" and wait for him to STFU so that I could enjoy the show. If the kid wasn't mature enough to understand how to behave in a theatre, she shouldn;t have brought him!

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 19:30

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 12:29

Ah, just spotted the auto correct
It's repetitive noises that are a well known torture technique

Yes I did actually know what you really meant. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I would still say that if you find being within earshot of a couple of kid’s playing a clapping game for 40 minutes torturous it’s YOU with the problem not them.

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 20:03

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 19:30

Yes I did actually know what you really meant. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I would still say that if you find being within earshot of a couple of kid’s playing a clapping game for 40 minutes torturous it’s YOU with the problem not them.

Nope. It's been a well known torture method for centuries and I'm not that old.

PinkSyCo · 15/02/2023 20:24

countrygirl99 · 15/02/2023 20:03

Nope. It's been a well known torture method for centuries and I'm not that old.

I am not disputing that fact at all though.

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