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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why the hell do some parents do this?

444 replies

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 19:39

Went out for a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day, the waiters put on white gloves to bring your plates and cutlery etc etc. But pretentious, but had heard good things and it was amazing food. And expensive, but a celebration so we splashed out. Near us was a group which a young couple with their two children. One was a babe in arms who cried - fair enough, babies cry and after a while of not being able to quiet him or her, dad went out and walked around outside. Much appreciated that he did that. However, the other child, a girl of about 5 or 6, was allowed to sing, at the top of her voice for over an hour. The same line over and over, which I finally worked out was 'I don't care' from Let It Go. For a fucking hour. I get it is hard to manage kids in public sometimes but you could see people looking from all over the restaurant. If we had been in the local pub I would not have thought twice. But in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?

OP posts:
Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 21:00

No, @Versailles2023 , could not afford it at dinner, it is way out of the norm for round here.

@LindorDoubleChoc , yes, I would feel more tolerant in a place which is obviously set up to be family friendly, with play equipment etc.

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 11/02/2023 21:00

Can I ask where in the country are you?

Not to out yourself.

Just n/s/e/w
Nw/se etc

Orangetapemeasure · 11/02/2023 21:01

DB does this. We went out for DMs bday and he rolled up the menus to make trumpets so his kids could walk around the table trumpeting. I nearly died. We’ve only ever booked private rooms in restaurants since…….and even that is pretty unbearable for the rest of the group.

DoraSpenlow · 11/02/2023 21:01

Was in a pub for lunch today. Ok, it was a cheap, family friendly place but a couple of tables over was a family with two little girls, probably twins, about 3. Not only were kids standing on the table, the dog then joined them up there. Parents on their phones with just the odd "get down girls" but barely a glance up from their phones. Didn't actually physically make them get down. The dog was finishing up the food on the plates. When the manager went over to ask them to get the kids/dog off the table poor bloke just got a mouthful about kids being kids. If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have believed it.

mackthepony · 11/02/2023 21:02

Completely unacceptable.

I never take my kids to fancy restaurants because I know other people want to relax and enjoy themselves AND pay a fortune for it.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 11/02/2023 21:02

@PegSliderskew I sympathize. I recently got stuck on a train for 3 hours after an incident on the tracks. The boy opposite me, approx 10 years old, played inane YouTube videos for the entire time, with no headphones. Like you i kept expecting the dad to say something, but nope, no awareness whatsoever.

mackthepony · 11/02/2023 21:03

I'm sorry, the dog was jn the pub and finished the leftovers??

Wtf

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 11/02/2023 21:04

Because they are assholes, children shouldn't be taken to places like that. Pubs or Cafes fine, but not fancy restaurants, even if they're well behaved it still ruins the ambience

follyfoot37 · 11/02/2023 21:05

Why didn't you speak to the manager?

Fuckthatguy · 11/02/2023 21:05

@DoraSpenlow

Feral. Not the dog.

JudgeJ · 11/02/2023 21:06

badgergirly · 11/02/2023 19:54

Why didn't you ask to be moved?

That's right, absolve the breeders from any responsibility! It's not always possible to escape, they should have been told to remove her, preferably outside.

Mulhollandmagoo · 11/02/2023 21:08

See, people like this baffle me, because I have a young child, and I love her more than anything in the world - but eating out with her isn't a hugely enjoyable experience at all, I can't imagine spending that kind of money for the privilege, I'd have gone to a harvester and paid a fraction of the price.

In their position I would have made sure my child was quiet, I wouldn't have let her sing loudly for that long whilst people were enjoying a meal in an expensive restaurant, that's really rude!

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/02/2023 21:09

And for the PP who asked, rural north but not far north.

OP posts:
Pseudonamed · 11/02/2023 21:11

Noisy kids WRECK my head. The parents should have shut her up. Absolutely totally unfair for others to have to listen to it.

Justalittlebitduckling · 11/02/2023 21:14

If you choose to bring young children to a relatively good restaurant, it should be because you’re socialising them to learn how behave in that kind of environment. Letting them behave inconsiderately is not doing them any favours, let alone the poor people all around them.

MysteryBelle · 11/02/2023 21:14

DoraSpenlow · 11/02/2023 21:01

Was in a pub for lunch today. Ok, it was a cheap, family friendly place but a couple of tables over was a family with two little girls, probably twins, about 3. Not only were kids standing on the table, the dog then joined them up there. Parents on their phones with just the odd "get down girls" but barely a glance up from their phones. Didn't actually physically make them get down. The dog was finishing up the food on the plates. When the manager went over to ask them to get the kids/dog off the table poor bloke just got a mouthful about kids being kids. If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have believed it.

This is nuts! People have no common sense.

Callisto1 · 11/02/2023 21:16

Quite a few of the fancier places don't allow children below 12. So if noisy kids bother you I would stick to those for lunch. Or go for dinner?

I'm not British so don't operate a restaurant class system. Whether it's expensive or not I would expect my kids to behave normally in a restaurant. Basic table manners and no shouting. And I would take them to fancy restaurants as I like the food. We even have some that consider themselves family-friendly in my city and have play areas. If everyone is a bit reasonable there needn't be any issues!

Flossflower · 11/02/2023 21:16

I think this is out of order, but so were the group of 6 adults that were sitting next to us in the restaurant last week. The men were loud and every so often the women would burst into loud cackling laughter. Fortunately they left halfway through our meal.

Topsyturvy78 · 11/02/2023 21:17

I'm surprised the staff never said anything. Maybe she was doing it for attention. Some children get jealous when a new sibling arrives.

Zanatdy · 11/02/2023 21:19

Very annoying and yes they should have asked her to stop. What some parents fail to get is that not everyone finds their little darling cute

silverclock222 · 11/02/2023 21:20

YABU mainly because a child shouldn't be allowed to do that anywhere (for an hour, well any more than a couple of times really) apart from in their own house.

CrocodilesCry · 11/02/2023 21:22

Some people just don't care about others. They're selfish.
A bit like the parents pushing two kids round the supermarket this evening with whistle lollies.
The shop was pretty quiet except for their constant high pitch whistling - it was bloody unbearable.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 11/02/2023 21:24

Was the Harvester or Beefeater not open? Can’t bear parents who don’t tell their kids to shut up. Mine would’ve been told to button it even in Harvesters and Beefeater. Wouldn’t contemplate taking them somewhere posh, save that for me and dh.

CheesenCrackersmm · 11/02/2023 21:25

Childrens volume should be moderated in any restaurant not just the places where the chef sounds out an amuse bouche - whatever the fuck that means.

Minimalme · 11/02/2023 21:26

That would be really annoying anywhere.

Did the parent not look embarrassed or irritated?

We once went to a pizza express and a couple had two young children who were crying.

The parents were arguing about coming out to eat and how it was too late for the children.

I actually found the parents much more irritating than the kids. Self-indulgent twats.