Just want to say, I LOVE being single.

[theoldcatsmells]

I'm 41. I spent my entire life chasing men, hoping they would want me, hoping they would validate me. I'm ashamed of myself. It got me in so much trouble. Wasting my life being loyal to a divvy. Then a totally abusive and controlling relationship which is still threatening to ruin my life.

But…. I look back on my life and realise that every single best period was when I was single.

Answering to no one. Having proper alone time. Watching what I want and doing what I want. Also flirting, and the excitement of knowing I can flirt with anyone and speak to anyone.

I've been listening to this podcast called Alonenemt and it’s really fun.

I just have literally no need for a man, for validation. Now of course a decent loving partner is a thing to be cherished, I've never had it! Well I have but I was so young I found it boring. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I just want to say I am overjoyed at being single and finally it’s a relief to realise it. To realise that that’s what my happiness is.

Can you share things you enjoy listening to about single life?
Can you share why you love being single?
I just feel elated about it.

I'm not single but love your positivity! How great you are discovering things you love better as a single person. Enjoy!

I do what I want, when I want without having to consider anyone else. My money is my own. I have a king size bed all to myself, with no snoring in the background. The TV remote is mine and mine only.

Good for you. I suspect that the key thing is to be happy with yourself married/single or whatever.

What a lovely thread, op!

And congratulations of you (new?) found happiness.

And it’s so good to read more about happy single, rather that what losers we are and the stigmas.

I hope I get to that place one day.
I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m old now, so it will never happen and I’ve been looking around the internet how to be okey with this / what the positives of being single are, so I hope others will come and share some positivity!

I'm 45 and I love being single, I can't imagine ever sharing my life with a man again. I've never been happier and more content in my life, just me and my beautiful DS.

Well I'm not single but I don't answer to anyone, partner and I make mutual decisions and are quite happy going out on our own for example.... saves a fortune on babysitters.

I'm glad you are happy single but don't write off relationships....maybe you were with the wrong men?

I have been single pretty much my whole life. My only relationship was a negative one, with an older controlling guy, and I had his baby when I was 18. Thankfully he is absent from DS's life because he'd be a terrible role model for DS.

I'm 33 now, I've dated casually but never had a proper relationship and I don't want one. All choices are my own, from little ones like what to cook for dinner, to bigger ones like where to go on holiday or what furniture to buy.

Good for you OP! I read that a lot more women are choosing to stay single now and I fully understand why.

Why do married women have to run to comment on single woman’s happy thread.

Are tou so deep into patriarchy, that you have to come and recruit the one who has, sounds like finally, found her happiness.

Jesus!

I get that, but when you're in a relationship there's always another person's opinion to consider. You really can't just do what you want in that sense - would you redecorate without talking to your partner first, for example?

I love being single too. No desire for a relationship. If I could find a man who would add something to my life then I might re-consider.
Most people i know that are married/LTR don’t seem very happy. The women usually 😂

I'm mid thirties, no kids, never married. Haven't had a committed relationship since a disaster at 23. Don't want one either. My career is taking off, I have friends and family and my own place. Why would I want some smelly man invading this life I've built? I provide for myself.

Apperently it truly is on rise:
www.eviemagazine.com/post/45-percent-women-are-expected-to-be-single-and-childless-by-2030

I believe the correct term for them is 'smug marrieds'. 😉

I hear ya!
I've just split up with my oh after 15 yrs together, we had 2 weeks of serious discussions (painful and awkward) he started the conversations about how he wasn't happy, his needs were not being met 🙄 then I asked him to leave last weekend.
I have always put him first while he has let me down and has basically neglected my needs / feelings.
I thought I'd be devastated but I'm actually so calm, I'm loving my new life, it's only been nearly a week but I've been going to work as normal, chatting and laughing with colleagues, I've been taking the dog out, I have a holiday planned, I've pottered about the house doing little jobs (recently moved) bought new furniture and I've hardly given him a thought.
A month ago I would have said I'd be horrified by the thought of losing him.
I'm going to make the most of my new life.
Him?
He's been messaging saying how much he's missing me and how he's made a massive fuck up.
Me?
I'm feeling free!

Statistically marriage makes men happier and women less happy - because we take care of them. Enjoy spending your new energy and time on yourself and don't take him back! He can meet his own stupid needs.

I love being single too.
i run my own life, I don’t have to run any decisions past anyone else, I don’t have to consider anyone else’s feelings. I can buy what I like when I like.
my home is calmer and happier. My children are happier.
I would never live with a partner again I don’t think. I’m not actively seeking a relationship and have no plans to do so, but if I did meet someone I would need us to have our own homes.

Everything! I bloody love being single. Just my boys and I. There's no way I'd share my lovely life with another man. There's a reason so many divorced/widowed women choose to stay single while, I believe, the opposite is true of men who can't wait to get in tow with another woman to look after them. No thank you🤣🤣

I now use the terms "smug single" and "smug childfree".

It's great stuff all round OP. Enjoy.

Long term single and everything the OP said. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a natural singleton, even as a child the thought of being one of a couple wasn't an ambition. Love it. Of course it would be nice to have someone to who I'm a priority, or to make me a cup of tea and cook dinner when I come home late - but I didn't have that when I was married, so what's the difference? 😅

Yes yes yes. It's so freeing!

I think a lot of married women would envy your singleness 😊

So you could just go out and buy a horse today like I did? Not have to run it by him because it’s a big purchase?
or you can just go to Iceland for the week on a whim and not mention it to anyone else?
Im not saying in a good relationship you are answering to someone else, but you do have another person to consider. Which is fine. If that makes you happy and the upsides of marriage make that worthwhile (as it does for lots of people) then that’s great. But it wouldn’t be worth it to me.

She isn't 'trying to convince herself.' She's sharing her happiness. Some people really, really can't bear others being different, can they?