Just want to say, I LOVE being single.

[theoldcatsmells]

I'm 41. I spent my entire life chasing men, hoping they would want me, hoping they would validate me. I'm ashamed of myself. It got me in so much trouble. Wasting my life being loyal to a divvy. Then a totally abusive and controlling relationship which is still threatening to ruin my life.

But…. I look back on my life and realise that every single best period was when I was single.

Answering to no one. Having proper alone time. Watching what I want and doing what I want. Also flirting, and the excitement of knowing I can flirt with anyone and speak to anyone.

I've been listening to this podcast called Alonenemt and it’s really fun.

I just have literally no need for a man, for validation. Now of course a decent loving partner is a thing to be cherished, I've never had it! Well I have but I was so young I found it boring. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I just want to say I am overjoyed at being single and finally it’s a relief to realise it. To realise that that’s what my happiness is.

Can you share things you enjoy listening to about single life?
Can you share why you love being single?
I just feel elated about it.

There is a huge social disparity with how single men vs single women in their 40s are viewed by society...

Men - 'you lucky lucky bloke' seen as living the dream to other men. Seen as a glorious enigma to women - will they be the woman perfect enough to capture said pinnacle blokes? Nothing wrong with these people whatsoever, if anything, they're cool and independent.

Women - something wrong with them that they can't get a bloke.

It's so wrong.

I think this is so interesting. I feel I've always fallen into relationships and always thought that it was important to be married and have children. Now married and with a child (DH is pretty useless and I now wonder what the hell I've done with my life), I think why did I think this was so important and necessary. I think I could have been much happier, just staying being 'me'.
I do also wonder how much finances come into it, as both serious relationships I've had I've moved in for financial reasons and not because it felt like the right time in the relationship.
I wonder how my life might have turned out differently had I been confident enough to be happy and secure to stay single ... or at least not settle for Mr Right Now

I really disagree about the way single men are viewed by women. They are either viewed as shallow immature commitment phobics or possibly gay or mummy's boys.

I am 60 and very happy as a single woman. I was married twice before, first marriage I had my son, then was single for 20 years, and got married a second time and MAN what a mistake that was. In 2018 I was divorced a second time and never looked back. I have always been independent (referred to as bossy, stubborn, blah blah blah and yes I am an Aries). I am my fully authentic self as a single woman. I have men friends (some want more but not happening). I have an amazing circle of women friends, and family nearby. If I want company I know where to find it. But there is NOTHING like going home from work at the end of the day, feeding dogs, having a glass of wine and watching what I want to watch on the tellie. It's not traditional, but it is all mine and I love it!