Cocaine - can this work

[Pulpfan78]

Hello, first time here but previous lurker so please be gentle with me.
Just found out my boyfriend of four months is a cocaine user.
He says at least once a week, but he took it twice last week!
He also takes a lot of other party drugs.
I'm nearly 40 and want a LTR. In every other regard he's really nice and seems to be functioning really well but has been taking it for 10 or so years.
Well paid so cash isn't an issue.
I really like him. Dating in your late 30s is really hard so I was pleased to have found someone so nice.
Ignoring all the moral issues (I know about them, please don't make this thread about them) can someone realistically have a normal life when they take this much cocaine.
No children. I don't take it.
TIA

Thanks, you might be proud of me, but I'm sad.

Sometimes itames people arogant. Other times it brings people out of their shell to make them less shy. People react differently to different drugs.

Lots of my friends take drugs they are nice people.

If he can afford it and it honestly is casual use then I wouldn't have a problem (as long as he isn't an arsehole on them )

If he's an addict even that's a different ball game

The country I live in has decriminalised lots of drugs which eliminates the county lines issues etc.

The UK should too imho

Yes it does. My friends take then on a Saturday night.

Hugs just read your update well done on getting rid be kind to yourself and a few treats.

Well done! You’ll start to feel much better soon and even more relieved when you really realise how close you were to your life going downhill and how you’ve dodged a bullet.

I’m also really proud of you. Thanks for sharing your update. This is what others need to hear, in order for them to be educated and so they can also avoid people like this.

Good luck 🍀

It would be a no from me, and I used to take it. No one ever takes cocaine recreationally without being addicted, and it messes up so many other parts of your life

Meh. Whatever.

This response also says a lot about you, and not just your friends.
Just saying.

I would disagree that you can never take it recreationally without being addicted. In my early-mid 20s I used to take it perhaps 3-4 nights out of an entire year recreationally, when out at a bar or club with friends drinking. Outside of those times, I didn't desire it. There were also many times I would meet those same friends and have drinks without it. I think some people can handle recreational, some simply can't. I had an old friend in teenagehood who tried to take it recreationally and slid in to addiction very fast. It depends on the person. But every week? That would be worrying

I don't take cocaine but I know people that wouldn't seek it out but probably wouldn't turn down a line if it was put in front of them. Ask any person who buys coke I'm sure these people are plentiful

but anyway yeah, recreational, occasional non bingey use exists separate to addiction. I think if you're an occasional user but you binge hard then you're a classic addict

To be clear I'm not suggesting that's what the OP describes, which is problem drug use whichever way you look at it

Ignoring all the moral issues (I know about them, please don't make this thread about them)

Why would you ignore the moral issues?
PP are NOT going to be ignoring the moral issues just because you'd rather not think about them & want reassurance that you can easily stay with your cokehead b/f.

It's ok to be sad. You've done the right thing, give yourself some time to grieve for the man you'd hoped he was, before his flaw was revealed.

The way he treated you in that coke-fuelled row is absolutely typical of the volatility & casual cruelty of the cokehead btw. You've done well to cut your losses.

Why are you sad to have got rid of a cocaine addict????
I'd be relieved you've had a lucky escape

Not even if last man on earth

It’s natural to feel sad after a relationship ends, especially one that looked promising (if you exclude the coke). However, it does seem like a recent incident showed his true colours, or a possible taste of what the future can hold.

You’re probably grieving for the life you hoped to have with this person, but unfortunately the cocaine has turned this fairytale into a potential nightmare. Give yourself time and you will feel better.