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AIBU?

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

253 replies

boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 18:58

1 week old was feeding and some milk was running out the sides of his mouth, he looked totally milk drunk and cute and I said aww, so my husband looked over and gagged when he saw the milk. I asked what that was about and he just said it's so weird that that's come from you

Last night baby pulled off the breast and my let down was squirting everywhere and I had nothing to grab no muslin so I just grabbed the only thing I had which was a glass and let it go in there. I went to tip it down the sink and he started dry heaving and saying no why is your milk in there.

I told him today I find it quite hurtful and he said that he doesn't mean anything by it and is fully supportive of me breastfeeding but it just makes him gag. There's going to be milk dribble and leaks and milky sicks I don't need him gagging all the time and making me feel disgusting just for feeding my child. He's saying I'm over reacting and it's just a reaction he can't control. AIBU?!

OP posts:

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Wdib78 · 05/02/2023 22:47

ofwarren · 05/02/2023 19:00

You should do the same for his semen. Gag and say it makes you feel sick..

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Best comment and also true.

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PumpkinPastiez · 05/02/2023 22:49

smileladiesplease · 05/02/2023 22:13

What a dick

I had a blocked duct with my twins. Tried it all until dh stepped up and went for it. Best relief of my life. :)

You breastfed your husband?

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CelestiaNoctis · 06/02/2023 00:28

That's what you get for having a child with a 12 year old boy.

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Carlycat · 06/02/2023 02:22

Pathetic. I'd be tempted to pop a bit in his tea

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GG1986 · 06/02/2023 04:46

If he doesn't like it then tell him he can leave the room everytime you feed. He needs to grow up.

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StarsSand · 06/02/2023 05:33

What a ridiculous child he is.

Tell him so and then ignore him.

I'm so embarrassed for him. How pathetic.

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 05:39

I gag and several things, so do my kids. It's involuntary. I gag everything I see raw egg. I still come it but I'm gagging throughout. You asked him why he does it and he told you. Would you have preferred him to lie? You are being unfair.

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 05:43

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/02/2023 19:06

He’s being an idiot. Pretty pathetic. Shows a deep rooted misogyny.

Or he just has a gag reflex he carnt control. You saying misogyny is pathetic.

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Father2890 · 06/02/2023 05:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:03

Anxiety and cause an overactive gag reflex. Many people have no control over this. For all the posters who say he's wrong maybe want to consider if they had a medical reason like this would you be happy to be responded to in this way?

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:11

Have you considered the fact that he might be offended by your lack of consideration towards an involuntary action which he probably finds embarrassing?

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WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 06/02/2023 06:16

boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 19:11

Yes he drinks cows milk no problem! And yes he's saying it's a reflex and is involuntary as if that makes it absolutely fine, but it just makes me feel like I'm doing something gross when I'm quite literally doing the most natural thing in the world

Don't let him make you feel like that.
Breastfeeding is incredibly hard, not everyone wants to or can do it. It takes so much from you. I felt very emotional whilst I breastfed and very strong at times and weak at others. I'm glad DH didn't make me feel anything other than amazing as I was emotionally fragile at times due to the hormones.

He's being stupid and disrespectful. He needs to understand that.

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Seeleyboo · 06/02/2023 06:16

What an immature prick

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YukoandHiro · 06/02/2023 06:19

Talk to him in detail about the dairy industry and ask him why that doesn't make him gag

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:30

YukoandHiro · 06/02/2023 06:19

Talk to him in detail about the dairy industry and ask him why that doesn't make him gag

Another poster with no awareness of how the gag reflex works 🙄

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Gymtok · 06/02/2023 06:47

I used to gag when I saw ds moving loads inside me when I was pregnant. Nothing I could do about it. Looking at huge pregnancy bumps still makes me feel sick.

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LaBellina · 06/02/2023 06:50

His shitty behavior has me gagging.
How old is this manchild, mentally? 10?
YANBU!!!

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:56

So many posters saying he should be aware of breastfeeding, yet the same posters have no awareness of what can be a major issue for him. Double standards springs to mind

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LaBellina · 06/02/2023 06:58

Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:30

Another poster with no awareness of how the gag reflex works 🙄

Show quote history

It’s not about involuntary gag reflex, this is about his whole attitude about breastmilk and the op feeding their child. He is shaming her when he should be supporting her. He could have explained at least and even better, apologized for how he makes her feel but acts like op is disgusting.

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 06:59

LaBellina · 06/02/2023 06:50

His shitty behavior has me gagging.
How old is this manchild, mentally? 10?
YANBU!!!

So if this is the case is the woman also mentally 10 due to not taking his case seriously? Because it certainly seems that way to me.like I said double standards.

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Plumbear2 · 06/02/2023 07:00

LaBellina · 06/02/2023 06:58

It’s not about involuntary gag reflex, this is about his whole attitude about breastmilk and the op feeding their child. He is shaming her when he should be supporting her. He could have explained at least and even better, apologized for how he makes her feel but acts like op is disgusting.

Show quote history

Read it again. He is not shaming her. She asked why he was gagging and he answered her honestly.

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TheBadLuckOfTeelaBrown · 06/02/2023 07:10

He sounds like a twat to me and I would probably have the ick going forward. I certainly wouldn't be putting his dick in my mouth again.

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Forgooodnesssakenow · 06/02/2023 07:14

Squirt him in the face everytime he does it, or just everytime you can, aversion therapy. Is he 12?

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LittleLegoWoman · 06/02/2023 07:15

I’d make him a deal.
You will avoid sharing milk drunk baby moments/all observations about your boobs and milk beyond the absolute necessity (eg. I’m taking myself and/or baby to dr + why but no details).

And in return he will make every effort to deal with his reactions quietly and without comment. - If he needs to leave the room he leaves. If he wants to wash the sink he washes the sink.

He should also agree he gets no say in any choices you make about milk feeds eg. if you want to express so you can go out/go back to work; if/when/how you want to switch the formula or cows milk, bottles vs sippy cups etc.

If he then can’t manage his reactions without making it your issue to deal with I’d kick him out.

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GoldDuster · 06/02/2023 07:22

@Plumbear2

You're not getting it. You gave at raw egg because... You appreciate it? It makes you feel good? You appreciate it's nutritional qualities?

Probably not. More likely because it makes you feel sick, due to a belief you have about raw egg.

Same with the OPs DH. He believes that breast milk is disgusting for some reason, hence the gagging.

Clearer?

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