Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

AIBU?

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

253 replies

boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 18:58

1 week old was feeding and some milk was running out the sides of his mouth, he looked totally milk drunk and cute and I said aww, so my husband looked over and gagged when he saw the milk. I asked what that was about and he just said it's so weird that that's come from you

Last night baby pulled off the breast and my let down was squirting everywhere and I had nothing to grab no muslin so I just grabbed the only thing I had which was a glass and let it go in there. I went to tip it down the sink and he started dry heaving and saying no why is your milk in there.

I told him today I find it quite hurtful and he said that he doesn't mean anything by it and is fully supportive of me breastfeeding but it just makes him gag. There's going to be milk dribble and leaks and milky sicks I don't need him gagging all the time and making me feel disgusting just for feeding my child. He's saying I'm over reacting and it's just a reaction he can't control. AIBU?!

OP posts:

Thanks

Share

Report

ShakespearesBlister · 05/02/2023 21:06

JupiterFortified · 05/02/2023 20:47

Whoops sorry that was meant for @FurAndFeathers

Show quote history

It's here. Shame she's not as quick at reading threads as she is at trolling lol 😂

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

Thanks

bakewellbride · 05/02/2023 21:06

" He's saying I'm over reacting " the irony!

He sounds childish op.

Thanks

chevvyroo · 05/02/2023 21:10

OneTC · 05/02/2023 19:05

People that do that fake gagging thing are always fucking weird drama people

This

Thanks

drumandthebass · 05/02/2023 21:17

I'd be more embarrassed than offended tbh. Embarrassed at how childish he is

Thanks

magma32 · 05/02/2023 21:19

he sounds really immature which would be a turn off for me. Even my 12 year old doesn’t do stupid things like that. I find it weird how people are comparing snot and vomit etc to breast milk. It’s not a bodily fluid that is produced like urine, snot etc it’s only produced to feed an infant so I’m not sure how people have those associations with it but not cow’s milk etc. He’s being pathetic then gaslighting you like you’re the one being dramatic.

Thanks

ShakespearesBlister · 05/02/2023 21:22

@FurAndFeathers seems to have gone quiet 🤣

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

Thanks

Mooshamoo · 05/02/2023 21:24

I'm a woman and I think breastfeeding is great, beautiful and wonderful, I really do. It's a beautiful natural thing.

However, I also have a queasy reaction to seeing breast milk. Seeing expressed breast milk in a bottle makes me gag and feel sick. It is a liquid that has come from inside a human being. It makes me feel sick to look at it. I would never say that to anyone. But it does. It is a natural body liquid, but so is urine, sperm and spit. If there were bottles of those liquids on the table , we probably wouldn't want to look at them either.

Thanks

Dunnoburt · 05/02/2023 21:24

My dad has a proper phobia of milk (only in liquid form) it actually governs his life to a certain extent, maybe he has this too?........

Thanks

MeridianB · 05/02/2023 21:27

He’s behaving like a moron and needs to show more respect.

Thanks

Iwantabloodypizza · 05/02/2023 21:28

That would put me right off him.

Thanks

AIMummy · 05/02/2023 21:39

How's he like with changing nappies?

Thanks

ShakespearesBlister · 05/02/2023 21:45

FurAndFeathers · 05/02/2023 20:28

can you point out where that was said please @ShakespearesBlister ?

hint. It wasn’t.
why make things up?

Show quote history

Hint. Read the full thread.

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

Thanks

Saracen · 05/02/2023 21:47

It's a phobia and he can't help it. He can help the way he talks about it. There is no need for him to tell you how he is feeling. If the subject comes up, he needs to acknowledge that it is totally irrational of him.

The sight and smell of cooked liver makes me gag. If liver is served to anyone while I am at the dinner table, I politely excuse myself rather than telling everyone how disgusting I find it.

Of course, in the case of breastmilk, your DH can't avoid it altogether and is going to have to make an effort to develop coping strategies so he can overcome his issues. I don't know whether he may get used to it in time with exposure, or whether CBT might help.

Thanks

Theunamedcat · 05/02/2023 21:50

Saracen · 05/02/2023 21:47

It's a phobia and he can't help it. He can help the way he talks about it. There is no need for him to tell you how he is feeling. If the subject comes up, he needs to acknowledge that it is totally irrational of him.

The sight and smell of cooked liver makes me gag. If liver is served to anyone while I am at the dinner table, I politely excuse myself rather than telling everyone how disgusting I find it.

Of course, in the case of breastmilk, your DH can't avoid it altogether and is going to have to make an effort to develop coping strategies so he can overcome his issues. I don't know whether he may get used to it in time with exposure, or whether CBT might help.

Where has he said its a phobia? Its just milk he drinks it why can't his child without the ridiculous gagging and moaning

Thanks

Movelikejagga · 05/02/2023 21:57

Awful. He needs to be 100% supportive of you doing a wonderful, natural thing for your baby.

Thanks

Wheelz46 · 05/02/2023 21:57

Is it a fake gag or a proper gag reflex?

I dry heave at the stupidest of things, I mean I would prefer not to but for me it's just something I can't help. Only started happening when I was pregnant though but continued afterwards too.

He definitely shouldn't be moaning about it or making you feel guilty about it but if it is a genuine gag reflex maybe he can't help that.

Thanks

ecosystem · 05/02/2023 22:00

love that suggestion!

Thanks

GoldDuster · 05/02/2023 22:11

We gag at things we find disgusting ie dog shit on a trainer, vomit, snot. His gagging, real or dramatised is leaving you feeling that he is disgusted, understandably. He needs to get a grip, quick.

He is not being fully supportive of your breastfeeding, he needs to get his head around it and use his manners.

Thanks

smileladiesplease · 05/02/2023 22:13

What a dick

I had a blocked duct with my twins. Tried it all until dh stepped up and went for it. Best relief of my life. :)

Thanks

BrewandBiscuit · 05/02/2023 22:14

Put some in his tea

Thanks

Frozensun · 05/02/2023 22:31

If it’s a true gag, it’s not a conscious decision. As he gets more familiar, it’ll go away. Definitely NOT the same, but with each of my grandchildren I gagged at nappy changes (and I’m a mum who changed hundreds of my kids’ nappies). A couple of weeks and totally used to it - no more reaction. Give him a little time.

Thanks

Sukisal · 05/02/2023 22:33

LemonPledge555 · 05/02/2023 20:14

Baby is a week old. She’s hardly making a habit of it?

Show quote history

And that’s what I am saying- don’t keep doing it!

Thanks

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/02/2023 22:35

What an absolute child!

Thanks

IneedanewTV · 05/02/2023 22:38

Because your breasts are really for his pleasure only.

Thanks

nodogz · 05/02/2023 22:39

Keep at it op. When you go back to having sex, the milk can squirt out.

That should properly freak him out!

The enjoyment of freaking him out might get you over the ick of his squeamishness

Thanks

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.